5 Ways to Experiment in Bed
If you’re fresh out of ideas, stimulate your mind first
Even if you have an active and enjoyable sex life, there still may be times when things feel a little bit stale. But that doesn’t mean you have to settle for mediocre sex or do something drastic to spice things up. According to Mia Sabat, in-house certified sex therapist at Emjoy, there are simple steps you can take to help you experiment in the bedroom and make your sex life feel like new. The following are five of them.
Masturbation
Although it may seem counterintuitive to masturbate to improve sex with your partner, Sabat says that your own body is the perfect playground to try new things you may have always been curious about.
“Sometimes the best inspiration can be hidden in plain sight.”
“Ever wondered about anal play? Or wanted to try a sex toy that stimulates something other than your genitals? Your desires come from your own mind and body, and engaging in self-pleasure will open your eyes, literally and figuratively, to the routes you want to explore but have never considered before,” she said. “Whether you find something you love or hate, you’ll discover what you’d like to try in the bedroom, one position or technique at a time.”
Learn Something New
With so many resources out there to choose from, Sabat says a great way to come up with new ideas for sexual experimentation is to do some research about something new you can introduce into your relationship.
“All our minds work differently, and what might be a staple experience to one person could be completely new to another. Don’t be afraid to read books, listen to podcasts, or watch documentaries about sex, intimacy, and female pleasure. In fact, make it a part of your daily life!” said Sabat. “Self-pleasure and self-care go hand-in-hand: The more you engage with pleasure, the more accessible it is in your daily life, and the more inspired you’ll feel — both alone and with others.”
“Embracing your desires and pursuing them relentlessly will inspire you beyond compare.”
Ask Around
Sabat suggests that if you have friends you can ask about what interests you sexually, you should definitely pick their brains to get new ideas.
“It’s time we talk with our platonic friends about personal pleasure. Just as your friend might be able to recommend an amazing banana bread recipe, the same goes for sex and pleasure,” Sabat said. “If your friends are comfortable discussing sex, ask them about their favorite positions, kinks, or fantasies; ideal forms of pleasure; approach to masturbation; favorite sex toys and more. Sometimes the best inspiration can be hidden in plain sight.”
Listen to Erotic Stories
As an erotica author, this is definitely a tip I can get behind! According to Sabat, listening to erotic stories alone or with your partner is not only a turn on, it’s also fertile ground for new ideas you can bring into your sex life.
“Whether you find something you love or hate, you’ll discover what you’d like to try in the bedroom, one position or technique at a time.”
“I highly recommend people engage with female-generated audio erotica to bring people’s minds to the forefront of sexual experimentation. As audio erotica starts by stimulating the mind, listeners are sure to gain inspiration and feel turned on, all in one go,” said Sabat. “Kick things up a notch and experiment with erotica itself by bringing it into the bedroom — with consent of course. By listening to erotica with your partner during foreplay or mutual masturbation, you’ll both be able to engage with your fantasies while focusing on each other. It’s sure to get both your engines going!”
Embrace the Unconventional
Sabat says that one great way to get inspiration in the bedroom is to embrace your fantasies — no matter how unconventional you may think they are. If you fearlessly let your imagination do the walking, you can reap many sexual rewards.
“Engage with your fantasies, have sex in every room of the house, and explore your desires with confidence. I encourage you and your partner to write your own rule book when it comes to sex. Embracing your desires and pursuing them relentlessly will inspire you beyond compare.”
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