4 Traits of Genuinely Happy Couples
Happiness is not by chance, but by choice
There may be no hard and fast rule to justify what characteristics define a ‘happy couple’, but there are certain unique attributes that can increase one’s chances of securing a happy relationship.
The truth is, many successful relationships are born out of mutual love, respect and compassion.
Indeed, happiness in a relationship requires hard work from both sides because it isn’t just one party’s effort alone that counts. The decision to be happy with one’s partner requires conscious effort and adjustment.
On the style caster, Ashley Papa reasons that a particularly unique feature of happiness between a couple is that it can’t be quantified at all. Daily acts of love and sacrifice contribute to the growth of a successful, healthy relationship.
Happy couples possess some of the following characteristics:
1. They communicate effectively
In solid relationships, the communication line is always open because both parties never cease to let out their feelings when necessary.
When communicating, the ultimate goal is to be vulnerable enough towards each other. Communication is key and should be done with an open mind and with the desire to hear and be heard by your partner.
Open communication strengthens the bond in relationships.
There are moments of disagreements and misunderstandings, but bad communication makes it worse if both parties are unable to resolve their issue(s).
When there is effective communication, partners will feel safe enough to express themselves. Happy couples are not afraid to show each other’s areas of strength and weakness because for them, being together creates a safe space to expose their thoughts and intent. They can talk without feeling judged.
“Communication is the lifeline of any relationship.” - Elizabeth Bourgeret
2. They forgive easily
There will always be moments of frustration and disappointment. While it is normal to make mistakes and get things wrong, happy couples do not hold on to wrong doings of each other for long. They consistently make conscious efforts to let go.
Where there is a refusal to forgive, resentment and other bitter feelings may build up. Where this sets in, it could take a mental and physical toll on the relationship and further damage communication between any couple.
Relationships will thrive better if hearts are willing to forgive. Here are some tips on how to practice forgiveness:
- First, be open to the idea of forgiveness;
- Be patient with yourself and don’t rush the process. Sometimes, it takes time;
- Get professional help if you feel a need to;
- Do not attempt to seek revenge against your partner because you think it would make you feel better;
- Forgiveness is a conscious effort, be intentional about it. That’s the only way it can be true and genuine.
On the other hand, the party who has acted wrongly should be willing to ask for forgiveness and demonstrate the willingness to change. A simple verbal apology or remorseful act isn’t enough to change things, there should be a genuine desire to make things right.
3. Their relationship is based on mutual respect
A relationship will continually flourish based on how well the parties respect each other. Respect equates to showing love and support, even while maintaining healthy boundaries.
No couple will ever be 100 percent alike and there will always be one form of individual difference or the other. However, learning to accept each other’s decisions should come with the realization that each person was first an individual before getting into a relationship.
Disagreements happen all the time, but showing kindness is more important than being right all the time. Happy couples aren’t fault-finders, but rather, solution-seekers who value their relationships more than their egos.
Couples can show mutual respect by:
- Supporting each other’s goals and cheering each other on.
- Acknowledging independent and unique habits.
- Respecting personal feelings and wishes.
- Making each other feel appreciated.
- Recognizing individual flaws and constantly working on it.
4. They trust each other
Trust is one of the most important elements of a relationship. You have to trust your partner if you want things to work. Trust is something that should be built between two trustworthy people.
According to Julie Gottman, trust can only exist in a relationship where each partner behaves in a way that is in the best interest of both parties. Simply put, both parties are saying to one another: “ you can depend on me.”
“The best proof of love is trust and the best way to gain trust is to honour your promises.” — Ali Bassam
Trust comes with a certain level of security, loyalty and understanding. It involves sticking to a decision to make things work, no matter what.
In evaluating the level of trust in your relationship, certain questions to ask are:
- Will your spouse be there for you when things get bad?
- Are you the most important person in his/her life?
- Can you trust your partner to always stay faithful?
Building trust can be compared to building a house. For the house to stand the true test of time, it requires a strong foundation and sometimes, constant refurbishment.
Final Thoughts
Happy couples work towards being happy by being intentional about how they approach their relationships. It isn’t all about romantic messages and gestures. It takes a lot more.
Long-lasting relationships thrive on deliberate acts of couples who are willing to do the best they can to make things work.
It is most likely that if the goal is to make your partner as happy as possible, there will be less blaming and disappointment.