5 Things to do Before 30
Billionaires Read. A Lot.
In six months, I’ll be thirty.
Not would I say I have life “figured out.”
But upon reflection, the decisions (some good, some bad) I’ve made in the last five to ten years have put me on a path I’m excited for. And the path, the process, is always more pleasurable than the destination.
I’m applying to Master’s programs to become a Marriage and Family Therapist.
My online writing is receiving excellent reviews as views, likes, claps, and permission to send golden paper airplanes to specific inboxes.
My health is the best it's ever been. I’m eating well and exercising often.
I have more motivation, purpose, and discipline to accomplish my goals.
I think I’m getting the hang of this whole online dating thing (even though I absolutely hate it). And my connections with all people, including myself, have strengthened.
Above all, peace and contentment, regardless of life’s pitched lemons, have been regularities, which was uncommon in my late teens and most of my twenties.
5 Things to do Before 30
Here are 5 things I did before 30 to make getting old less crappy:
1. Read
“Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It builds up like compound interest. All of you can do it; but I guarantee not many of you will.” — Warren Buffet
Buffett would actually read 800 pages a day early in his career.
Bill Gates reads 50 books in a year. He takes “reading vacations” for two weeks at a time to accomplish his reading goals.
Elon Musk taught himself physics and rocket science by reading books.
Mark Cuban spends 3 hours a day reading.
Oprah Winfrey loves reading so much she started her own book club. Many writers rather end up on her favorite book list than the New York Times Bestseller. Most of her podcast guests are her favorite authors.
The average CEO reads one book a week.
I think you get the point, right? Well if not, let me help you out:
Successful people read. A lot.
I read my first self-help book at twenty years old.
I was at an all-time low in my life. I moved away for college and was too shy and introverted to make friends, so I felt alone and isolated. I flunked out of college. Depression smacked me in the face and left me unconscious when I started working to pay bills.
I came home one night from work, and my mom handed me this book — Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. I was hooked. The idea I could control my mental and emotional states gave me the power to change my life. And it got me curious about what I could learn in other areas of life through reading.
I spent nights researching books on Google and looking up reviews on Amazon. Before I knew it, I had more books than clothes.
I overcame my social anxiety. I went on many dates. I got promoted at work. I got good grades while going to school and work full-time. And I went to the gym five days a week, even after waking up at 3:30 am while working at Starbucks.
I’ve read over a hundred books in the last 10 years. I feel like I’d be doing you (and myself) a disservice if I didn’t recall and recommend the ones I found helpful.
Must-Read Books
- The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen Neff
- Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins
- The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Braden
- The Pathwork of Self-Transformation by Eva Pierrakos
- Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna
- The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida (for women also because it delivers awareness to the “why” of their feelings and desires)
- Primal Body, Primal Mind by Nora Gedgaudas
- Codependency No More by Melody Beattle
2. Improve Your Social Skills
Want to get promoted at work?
Improve your social skills.
Want to find an intimate partner?
Improve your social skills.
Want to learn how to market your products or services?
Improve your social skills.
My self-improvement journey started when I realized I needed to improve my social skills. I was always the shy, introverted kid in school.
My anxiety and timidness prevented me from kissing a girl in high school. I didn’t go to a football game or dance until senior year. I wouldn’t have gone to prom if it weren’t for my best friend. He pushed me into the girl I like and in a rare instance where my fear didn’t mute my voice; I asked her to be my prom date.
My lack of social skills made me feel alone and helpless when I moved away for college. I knew I had to make a change because I couldn’t live like that anymore. And I yearned for the experience of love, connection, and intimacy.
Instead of studying for exams, I read books and watched videos, which probably wasn’t the best decision because I flunked out of school. But I don’t regret it because I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I wouldn’t be writing about my experiences in hopes it will help you.
Anyway, I’d practice what I was learning any chance I could. I’d start conversations with strangers at school, the gym, and work. While working at Starbucks, I talked to every customer that walked through the door. It didn’t matter if they looked happy, sad, or rushed; I talked to them and pushed every conversation to the brink.
Within months, I had my first kiss and was dating often. Within a year, I lost my virginity. And they knew me as the most charismatic person to my friends, family, and coworkers.
I believe charisma (and social skills) to be the most important skill I ever learned. Not only did it improve my love life, but I got promoted quickly at Starbucks. I wasn’t the best barista, but since my coworkers liked me more than the better coffee slingers, they supported me, which led to my promotion.
My first passion was health and fitness. I wanted to train athletes because I was a former basketball player who loved seeing the improvements in mine and others' ability.
But getting your foot in the door is difficult because the athletic training niche is overpopulated and I didn’t have the credentials. I didn’t have a college degree. I didn’t have any experience training others but my friends and family. So I had to figure an alternative strategy than applying to listings on the internet.
I was at the bank when a friend from high school was waiting behind me. My younger self would’ve been too shy to engage in conversation. But Bryce 2.0 began talking to him, and he mentioned he just opened up a gym where he trains athletes. I made my pitch, and we exchanged info and I got an internship at (that point in my life) my dream job.
All the books I mentioned previously will improve your social skills.
“How? None of them are about socializing?”
After years (and years and years) of content consumption, I learned my inability to socialize was because of unhealed emotional wounds and trauma, and a lack of emotional intelligence.
Wounds, trauma, and a lack of consciousness were prisons to my natural charisma.
Read the above list of books and apply them to socializing. Also, consume content specifically about socializing. But “tips and tricks” will only lead you so far. Eventually, you’ll have to do the inner work to see permanent changes.
3. Claim a Purpose
“This isn’t about waiting for the right answer because there is no right answer. There are challenges we can sign up for and emotions we can experience.” — Seth Godin
Seth Godin — a member of the Marketing Hall of Fame (real award), the author of 17 books, and known as the “marketer for the information age” — believes passion isn’t enough.
There are many things a person is passionate about. And people mistake passion for purpose. Or they believe their purpose has found them when they feel passion, so they passively wait to be struck by the passion lighting bolt.
But the purpose isn’t found; it’s claimed.
Vincent Van Gough — the impressionist-painter famously known for hacking off his ear — is one of the best artists of all time. But he was also passionate about writing.
He used to write two letters a day to his brother — these letters later became a published book. His writing is so adored that people love it more than his paintings.
Van Gogh was passionate about painting and writing but stuck with painting. Perhaps, in the 21st century, Van Gogh would’ve been a writer because of the accessibility of the internet? Or because writing is currently more popular than painting?
If Steve Jobs were alive hundreds of years ago, he wouldn’t have created the iPhone because the technology was in its infancy stage. Instead, he would’ve been a musician or writer.
He learned to play guitar at an early age and would play Bob Dylan songs regularly.
His favorite book was 1984 by George Orwell. The book inspired his Super Bowl commercial pre-announcing the Macintosh.
Inventor, musician, or author? Perhaps, like Van Gogh, an era influenced the path Jobs chose.
But one thing’s for certain: passion isn’t enough.
As with Van Gogh and Jobs, we’re passionate about many things. But eventually, we have to fasten our seatbelts and commit to the journey.
Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean the roads will be bump-free or the freeways will be trafficless.
Chose the path you’re willing to total your car for.
4. Self-Audit
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung
The first step in self-improvement is awareness, for we can’t make changes we’re unaware of.
Concerning problems or issues are obvious. For example, I knew I had to improve my social skills because of my lack of results and my feelings of loneliness and melancholy.
But I had defects in other areas that I wasn’t aware of, or honestly, closed my eyes to.
Not to beat a dead horse, but reading opened my eyes to weaknesses and wounds that needed some attention. But I spent years denying or not fully admitting to myself I had more to work on than my social ability.
I wasted a lot of time repeating patterns of thought, emotion, and action that kept me on the merry-go-round from hell.
I’d start a diet, then cheat. I’d begin a workout regimen, then alter it. I’d commit to a purpose, then quit. I’d save money, then spend it on Amazon.
It wasn’t until I compassionately became honest with myself that I saw permanent results.
I’ve been eating primarily whole foods for the last seven years. I workout three-five days a week. I write every day. I have the most money I’ve ever had in my bank account (even after losing two jobs to Covid).
It’s never easy to admit our flaws because we’re scared to feel shame and afraid of the work that might have to be done to improve. Life is short. Don’t let unconscious forces toss you back and forth until your lying on your deathbed.
5. Memento Mori
“If I had to live my life over again, I would form the habit of nightly composing myself to thoughts of death.” — Muriel Spark
I have those two words — memento mori — tattooed on the inside of my right bicep. It means to reflect (memento) on death (mori).
This idea is scary to most. How do I know? When I answer people who ask what my tattoo means, their faces resemble that of a toddler who believes they saw the boogeyman creep from under their bed.
But for me and many others like Socrates, Marcus Aurelius, and Ryan Holiday, memento mori frees us because learning how to die unlearns us from being a slave.
Aurelis said it more beautifully (than I ever could) in Meditations — basically his public journal: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you say and do and think.”
Now you don’t have to get a tattoo, but a daily reminder of the shortness of life could encourage you to read like billionaires, become charismatic, fasten your seat belt and total your car, tame the forces leaving you stagnant, and make getting older less crappy.
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