5 Sex Based Opinions That Confuse and Worry Me

Our ability to complicate the simplest of things is truly something, when in reality we’re just as basic as the rest of the animal kingdom

As human beings, our minds are both our greatest attribute and Achilles heel. We have a talent for discovery and innovation. But we also have a talent for seeing patterns where there are none.

This is a list noting those events. Things that make me go, “huh?”

*Disclaimer — all the things mentioned below are my own personal opinions. If at any time you read something that comes across as shamey, please don’t hesitate to tell me and I’ll find a way to rephrase the content of this essay!

1. Vaginal elasticity weakens from having multiple partners

There are so many things wrong with this theory that I don’t even know where to start.

First, let’s say a penis was potent enough to cause a vagina to stretch, wouldn’t that mean married women would also have the same problem? Whether you have sex with the same person or multiple people, a penis is entering your vagina. So science dictates that no matter what, by the time we reach late 60s, all those with vaginas would have lost all elasticity…

However, society has decided that marriage makes us immune? Marriage is apparently a holy cloak against science and reason. Potent enough to break natural law.

Second, babies. A baby’s head is apparently nothing compared to the human penis? What in the patriarchy?!

Biologically speaking, vaginal musculature is elastic so it can naturally contract and resume its normal size and shape, both after sexual intercourse and childbirth. As with everything, everybody is different. But during arousal, the vagina expands. So if someone feels too tight, it’s probably because they aren’t feeling it.

Let’s just collectively decide to do better, please?

2. Watching porn is cheating

I understand that cheating is a very personal thing and we all have our own boundaries concerning the topic. For some sex is crossing the boundary. For others touching and kissing is stepping over the line.

Add in technology and emotional cheating, and the conversation is a shade closer to grey. Do I think liking someone’s pictures on Instagram constitutes to being unfaithful? No, but I get the pain and anger. I don’t count it but I get it.

But one that has always perplexed me is watching porn. I don’t think pleasuring yourself to someone who you’ll never meet counts as cheating. I have seen a lot of porn and I have felt no emotional attachment. I couldn’t even tell you the name of the person. I watch it with one goal in mind — to get off. I don’t think it’s right to hold someone’s orgasm hostage (unless you’re trying to get pregnant).

However, the definition of cheating really depends on the people involved in the relationship. Here is one that I found online by Melanie Shapiro, which I like:

My definition of cheating is when there is an agreement between two partners to be in a monogamous relationship and one partner violates the agreement and engages in sexual or emotional intimacy with someone outside the relationship. Often, people only think of sexual relations as cheating, yet sharing emotional intimate parts of oneself with someone outside the relationship can also be considered cheating. However, cheating doesn’t mean the end to a relationship, I believe it can be repaired if both partners are willing to do the work!

So I guess if you get into a committed relationship with someone who doesn’t like you watching porn and you do it, then by this criteria you would be cheating.

But then again, really? As the great Marie Antoinette said, “Let them watch porn!” Or something…

3. Everything to do with periods

Why is something that occurs to approximately 26% of the global population so taboo? Why is everything with a woman’s reproductive anatomy so under researched? I mean, we know why, but why?!

I have heard a lot of crap over the years. But I have also heard a lot of silence. Why is shedding my uterine lining gross? It is biology.

These days I am very open about my periods. No, I will not act as if I am smuggling drugs when carrying tampons in the store or to the toilet. Nor will I pretend I don’t get them.

I would like to take a moment to share to you that yes, you can get pregnant on your period. It’s unlikely but very possible. The possibility depends on how long the individual’s cycle is. Sperm can also live inside the human body for up to 5 days, so stay safe.

4. Masturbation is bad for you

There are many myths that involve all genders: that masturbation can lead to erectile dysfunction, men can go blind, and that it can cause sexual dysfunction in women. However, much like vaginal elasticity, orgasms don’t wreak havoc on your body when shielded by the cloak of holy matrimony.

In actual fact, masturbation is good! It can ease menstrual cramps, reduce stress and tension, help you sleep, elevate mood and improve sex!

So worry not, there isn’t a quota that you hit that causes impotence or infertility. Masturbate if you want to!

5. Hymens and virginity

I recently wrote a piece on this at length so I won’t go into too much detail here. However, the main 3 points to note are:

• Many mammals have hymens thus indicating that we are actually just as basic as the rest of the animal kingdom.
• Virginity as a concept requires heterosexual penetrative sex, so it is flawed on a fundamental level.
• Hymens can break from any activity, some people don’t have them, others can still have theirs even though they’re sexually active. Leave our hymens alone!

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