avatarBrooklyn Thomas

Summary

The author, a bisexual woman, has decided to stop giving blowjobs after realizing she does not enjoy them and feels that they are an unfair expectation in her sexual encounters.

Abstract

The author begins with a reflection on her initial enthusiasm for all sexual activities, including giving blowjobs with great skill and zeal. However, she soon recognized an imbalance in sexual reciprocity, leading her to withhold oral sex from partners who were not willing to reciprocate. Despite attempts to balance sexual acts, she found that her partners often did not match her effort or duration. This led to a personal policy where blowjobs were reserved for relationships, yet even then, she discovered that she did not miss performing them. The realization that she found blowjobs to be a turn-off and even somewhat reping prompted an existential questioning of her sexuality, though she ultimately concluded that she is not a lesbian. The author has since embraced the idea that she would rather not engage in giving blowjobs, except on rare occasions when she chooses to do so. She advocates for straightforward sexual activities and refuses to be pressured into acts that make her uncomfortable, emphasizing that her decision is not personal against her partners but based on her own preferences.

Opinions

  • The author initially performed blowjobs with enthusiasm but came to feel that the effort was not reciprocated by her partners.
  • She believes that sex should be a mutually pleasurable experience and implemented a policy to ensure reciprocity.
  • Despite changing efforts to make sex more equitable, she found that her discomfort with blowjobs persisted, leading to a personal reevaluation of her sexual practices.
  • The author experienced an existential crisis about her sexuality, considering whether her dislike of blowjobs indicated a preference for women, but confirmed her bisexuality.
  • She has decided that she would rather abstain from giving blowjobs, as they do not align with her sexual comfort or desires.
  • The author emphasizes that her choice to not perform oral sex is a personal preference and should not be taken personally by her partners.
  • She promotes the idea that sex does not need to include certain acts, like blowjobs, and can be fulfilling with other forms of physical intimacy, such as "straightforward fucking, or hand stuff!"

I’m Sorry but I Won’t Suck Your Dick

Blowjobs have never been a turn on for me

Photo by Hayes Potter on Unsplash

When I first started having sex, I used to be so enthusiastic. It didn’t matter the task, I would attack it with 110%. I would give porn star worthy blowjobs. I’d lick, suck, gag. Play with balls, pop one (sometimes two) in my mouth. I made blowjobs my bitch. I could get guys to come in record time and soon enough it was something that they always asked for.

However, soon enough I realised that I was giving disproportionately to what I was being given. So I slowly began to change my behaviour. I decided from that moment that I wouldn’t suck the dick of guys who refused to go down on me. Sex shouldn’t be a transactional endeavour but times were hard, and this was the only way of achieving equality in bed. Young men, can be pretty selfish and it worked!

I would get pleasured and so would he. But alas all good things must come to an end. There seemed to be a pattern of men who would lick me out for 5 minutes before giving up whereas I would only stop when they’d cum.

So another reorganisation of my department was needed, and I decided from that point onwards that blowjobs were for relationships only. Many men complained but alas their threats were hollow and once they got over the initial shock things were fine.

But then the unexpected happened. Not giving blowjobs made me realise how much I didn’t miss not giving them. From there I began to question whether I actually ever had. I always knew that I didn’t find them a turn on. But my hiatus brought about the sheer extent to my dislike.

I realised that throughout the years I’d been giving them because I thought I had to and not because I wanted to. Very rarely had I given a blowjob and enjoyed it. In fact, they kind of creeped me out.

I’m bisexual so this led to a minor existential crisis where I contemplated whether I was actually a lesbian (after watching ‘The King’ I can confirm that I am not). In the end I accepted it’s something that I would rather abstain from.

If I want to give them, I will. However, in the past 2 years I have probably given around 3 so men, don’t hold your breath. As I said above, though sex isn’t meant to be transactional, I will happily omit receiving head so that I don’t have to give it. There is nothing wrong with straight forward fucking, or hand stuff!

I refuse to be a pillow princess! But I also refuse to do something that makes me uncomfortable. Maybe this will all change when I meet someone who sexually drives me insane? Maybe it’s not blowjobs but the men I’ve given them to? I don’t know. But for now just know it’s nothing personal guys, it’s just not my cup of tea.

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Sexuality
Self
This Happened To Me
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