Virginity Is a Social Construct

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

2153

Abstract

ed. Of the pain, of bleeding out. Of suddenly being in Iove. So in true Brooklyn fashion, I thought to control the situation. I decided that I wanted to lose it on my terms. So I chose the guy, the date and location.</p><p id="59a7">When it came to the day, I was apprehensive. All I had read and seen was trauma, so by the time I got to Callum’s* house I was a little tipsy. He was sweet and said he would understand if I wanted to bow out and just hang out instead. But I had told myself I would do the deed that evening, so I asked him if he had a drink. Half a bottle of Captain Morgan‘s later, and I was ready to go!</p><p id="177f">I would be lying if I said I remembered much of that night. But it was fine. From what I remember, it didn’t hurt too much. My sexual escapades since have been far greater than that night so the whole thing is just a blur.</p><p id="69cd">The following day, I told Callum that it would be better if we didn’t speak. I still had internalised this idea that women go crazy for every man they fuck and I wanted to be cautious.</p><p id="fcd0">As far as either of us was concerned, we had both served and completed our function. And we left it amicably.</p><p id="32d6">I think the pressure we put on women’s virginity is wrong. This idea that it will be the worst night of your life but also the greatest. I don’t like how some people see it as an achievement to take someone’s virginity as if it were a medal.</p><p id="acec">I have read so many stories of women who were so consumed by the laws of purity culture that they could not have sex for months following marriage. For others, even though they were married, because of being told virginity = purity their whole lives, they felt dirty having intimate relations with their husbands. They felt as if they had lost something. Even after doing “everything right” they still felt as if they were sinning.</p><p id="9953">The concept of virginity requires heterosexual penetrative sex, so it is flawed on a fundamental level. We need to let go of the whole thing and reexamine the way we see sex and judge people.</p><p id="ef7d">The way I lost my virginity isn’t fo

Options

r everybody, but I am so glad I did it in a way that suits me and my needs. It is very freeing knowing that a moment that was meant to be this pinnacle of womanhood turned out to be so insignificant. I feel unshackled and liberated. I refused to feed the beast.</p><p id="e397">He took nothing from me. But I gained everything. As Dr Gunter said, if hymens were for marriage then other mammals would not have them. Sex ages like fine wine. So I think it is far better if we remember our best sexual experiences vs our first time doing it!</p><p id="c37b"><i>I am a sex-blogger and editor of the publication — <a href="https://medium.com/tinder-ella-chronicles">Tinder[ella] Chronicles!</a> A home for all my sexy content! You can expect to find my sex tips, erotica, embarrassing stories and more!</i></p><div id="8a77" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-art-of-choking-during-sex-d78e763812d8"> <div> <div> <h2>The Art of Choking During Sex</h2> <div><h3>You may think it is as simple as a handgrip around the neck but it’s actually a delicate art and a display of trust</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*yNbp73_7gF6ZRLVUdj45IA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4e17" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/women-with-pubic-hair-arent-unhygienic-7f362047f652"> <div> <div> <h2>Women With Pubic Hair Aren’t Unhygienic</h2> <div><h3>I am tired of being told my body in its natural state is disgusting — it is totally normal to have hair down there</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*MgmeUGOBwMaF7_90h7Wrbg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

I can’t remember the name of the guy I lost my virginity to yet a woman’s first time is meant to be the pinnacle of womanhood

Hymens and virginity are on everyone’s mind after rapper T.I. admitted on the “Ladies Like Us” podcast that he takes his 18-year-old daughter to get an annual “hymen check.” From that has spun multiple articles set on re-educating the masses.

As Dr Jennifer Gunter said on Twitter, “The hymen is like baby teeth. It served a biological purpose for a narrow developmental window and then when no longer needed is discarded. Many mammals have them. Humans, dogs, cats, camels, elephants etc. If this were for marriage/a social construct of virginity then other mammals would not have them.”

I lost my virginity at 18 to a guy I met on Tinder. Though it was only 6 years ago, I honestly for the life of me can not remember his name. (I could walk past him down the street and I wouldn’t know a thing… sorry to this man).

All I remember is that he was a little taller than me, ginger and Irish. It was after a week of talking that I decided that he was the one to “pop my cherry”.

I had heard a lot of horror stories about losing your virginity and I was frightened. Of the pain, of bleeding out. Of suddenly being in Iove. So in true Brooklyn fashion, I thought to control the situation. I decided that I wanted to lose it on my terms. So I chose the guy, the date and location.

When it came to the day, I was apprehensive. All I had read and seen was trauma, so by the time I got to Callum’s* house I was a little tipsy. He was sweet and said he would understand if I wanted to bow out and just hang out instead. But I had told myself I would do the deed that evening, so I asked him if he had a drink. Half a bottle of Captain Morgan‘s later, and I was ready to go!

I would be lying if I said I remembered much of that night. But it was fine. From what I remember, it didn’t hurt too much. My sexual escapades since have been far greater than that night so the whole thing is just a blur.

The following day, I told Callum that it would be better if we didn’t speak. I still had internalised this idea that women go crazy for every man they fuck and I wanted to be cautious.

As far as either of us was concerned, we had both served and completed our function. And we left it amicably.

I think the pressure we put on women’s virginity is wrong. This idea that it will be the worst night of your life but also the greatest. I don’t like how some people see it as an achievement to take someone’s virginity as if it were a medal.

I have read so many stories of women who were so consumed by the laws of purity culture that they could not have sex for months following marriage. For others, even though they were married, because of being told virginity = purity their whole lives, they felt dirty having intimate relations with their husbands. They felt as if they had lost something. Even after doing “everything right” they still felt as if they were sinning.

The concept of virginity requires heterosexual penetrative sex, so it is flawed on a fundamental level. We need to let go of the whole thing and reexamine the way we see sex and judge people.

The way I lost my virginity isn’t for everybody, but I am so glad I did it in a way that suits me and my needs. It is very freeing knowing that a moment that was meant to be this pinnacle of womanhood turned out to be so insignificant. I feel unshackled and liberated. I refused to feed the beast.

He took nothing from me. But I gained everything. As Dr Gunter said, if hymens were for marriage then other mammals would not have them. Sex ages like fine wine. So I think it is far better if we remember our best sexual experiences vs our first time doing it!

I am a sex-blogger and editor of the publication — Tinder[ella] Chronicles! A home for all my sexy content! You can expect to find my sex tips, erotica, embarrassing stories and more!