7 Things I Have Learnt After Having Slept With Almost 100 Men

Men aren’t as different as you’d think

To be honest I don’t know exactly how many men I’ve had sex with. I tried listing them all once but once I got to around 70/80 it started to get a little fuzzy.

I am 24 so most of these exploits happened between the ages of 18–23. Funnily enough, only 3 of them were one night stands. The rest were people I knew and a small percentage were clients — yes I dabbled in sex work, almost every self-reliant university student has (but that’s a story for another day).

Once you get over a certain number of people, you begin to notice a pattern. Men aren’t as different as you think. But here is a list of all the things I’ve learnt over the years!

1. Size matters but not in the way you think

I have had every penis size under the sun. From micro to super-sized. I think size does matter however it’s more complicated than “big dicks are better”.

Guys with big dicks have been told their whole lives that they will be amazing in bed. Told that they don’t need to worry about anything, their penises are magic. Which they are. I will admit. It feels nice to feel filled. I prefer girth over length but when they have both it’s a magical combo.

However, due to being told that they will be amazing in bed, they tend to be very lazy and have 0 tricks up their sleeves. They let their dick do all the work. But seeing as 18% of women say vaginal penetration alone is enough to come, the sex is kind of lacklustre.

Guys with penises on the smaller side feel as if they have to compensate so in general the sex seems to be better and they’re amazing at foreplay. Some have much mastered and will have made you come 3 times already so by that stage his size doesn’t matter!

Of course, there are deviations to the rule. The guy with the micropenis, for example, wasn’t great in bed. In fact, he was in denial over the size of his dick — but that’s a story for another day. But in general, most men fall into these categories.

So size does matter, it gives me a pretty good gauge on what to expect. I prefer medium penises on the girthy side. But everyone is different so people with penises worry not. Someone will think yours is perfect for them.

2. Squirting is a thing anyone can do but only some guys can command it

Do you guys remember old school video games where they had secret cheat codes that you had to find? Squirting is like that.

In my life, only 3 people have made me squirt. So I know I can do it but rarely does it occur.

There is a lot of debate on whether it is pee but in my opinion, it didn’t feel I’m peeing and the quantity is very limited. It feels nice but it’s messy as fuck and who has time for that?

3. Men don’t know female anatomy

I have been around the block a couple of times. Fucked men between the ages of 18–60 and I can say in general they don’t know our anatomy. I once had an older gentleman rub my vagina thinking it was my clit? I would move his hand to my actual clit and he’d rub it for a few seconds before resuming action to my vagina.

Quite a few men put way to much pressure on the clit, as if they’re trying to flatten it. The human clitoris is roughly the size and shape of a pea and is estimated to have about 8,000 sensory nerve endings. So all that force is unneeded.

Some guys don’t even know what it is. Thinking penetration alone will get you off. So I’ve had to sit down and give the basics to many men.

Many believe that vaginal elasticity is affected by the number of sexual partners someone has had/ length of time since you last had sex. I have had a few comment and say they could tell I hadn’t had it in a while… If they only knew!

4. The male ego can be a problem

Following from the section above. Some men have an ego problem. Especially if they are older. They don’t want to learn, choosing instead to do what they’ve always done even if you tell them it’s not working.

Some don’t listen, believing that they’re right and “know better”. Not realising that everyone is different with personal turn on’s.

So guys, please stop faking orgasms and making these people think they’re a sex god. It hurts us all.

5. Good sexual partners are made

People are very different. What works for me won’t be a turn on for the next person and so on. You’ll rarely find someone who you’re sexually compatible with immediately. But don’t let that discourage you. Communicate your likes and dislikes. Trial and error, experiment. Make each other into your perfect sexual partner.

I’ve had great sex from a first meet up but I’ve also had amazing sex with some guys I’ve been fucking for over a year. So if they aren’t good straight away, pause before you throw them away!

6. More guys are into butt play than you think but you have to ease them into it

Homophobia and the patriarchy have done a number on all of us. However, it has really fucked over men in regards to pleasure. I have been told by someone that the prostate gland was made up by gay people. Someone else also said they find the idea of handsfree penetration nice but they’d never let someone touch them there. There is this idea that even if it is a woman doing the penetrating, it makes them gay — a notion some women don’t help (let’s do better guys, please?).

However, it isn’t all doom and gloom. I’ve found that the majority are willing to try it, though they won’t advertise it out of fear of the woman running for the hills and telling everyone about it.

You have to ease them into it, not pressure them. Communicate and express your sex positivity and openness and you’ll be surprised what they will admit. You’re most likely going to be fighting against decades of social conditioning so don’t force them out of their comfort zone. Let them come to you. From there you can try out a finger and see where that leads.

7. The number of previous sexual partners someone has had doesn’t matter

I’ve slept with virgins who are better than other people who have had sex 100+ women.

Experience matters but it’s not the be-all and end-all. Like I said above, with some being experienced is what stops them from breaking bad habits.

The way someone appears can’t give you a guarantee to what to expect in bed. So don’t worry too much about the outside appearance.

So these are the 7 that came straight to mind, there is more to add to the list but that is an adventure for next time. I am currently having no sex but who knows, maybe I’ll increase the sample size to 200+ and add to the list? I think as expected, there are more similarities than differences.

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