5 Powerfully Potent Self-Talk Techniques (that work)

This is how you change your behavior

These methods may sound too simple and easy. Let me assure you — self-talk works! The most important thing you can learn is how to program your subconscious mind.

Why your self-talk is important

Our self-talk is our brain’s primary method of managing our life.

From the moment we are born, our subconscious begins collecting ideas on how to navigate life. Our parents, our greatest influence, pass these programs on to us.

This subconscious programming creates our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and how the world works — our behavior flows from our beliefs.

So, our subconscious programming determines how good we are at living life.

Unfortunately, most of our programming is negative. We are born to be successful but have been programmed not to succeed. Those harmful programs stand in the way of living our best life.

Every day, our self-talk either reinforces or alters our old programs. The good news is that we can replace harmful programming with deliberate self-talk.

By changing our subconscious programming, we can change any behavior, feeling, attitude, or belief that does not serve us. We can turn any area of our lives around and live better. Ultimately, we can create the ideal vision we have of ourselves living our ideal life.

5 life changing Self-Talk methods

How We (Re)Program Ourselves

1. Replacing Internal Dialogue

Silent self-talk is the internal dialogue that runs through our minds. This is our normal self-talk, which can be conscious or unconscious. Although we are usually unaware of it, our self-talk is always running in the background.

Pay attention to your self-talk when you find yourself outside your comfort zone.

I recently had to make an important phone call. I was nervous about it and started to procrastinate. I listened to my self-talk to identify precisely what was going on.

It turned out I was having doubts about my ability to be persuasive — feelings of doubt spring from harmful programming.

So, this negative self-talk around making that phone call alerted me to a harmful program I needed to replace.

“Programming creates beliefs; beliefs create attitudes; attitudes create feelings; feelings determine actions and actions create results.”

I flipped that negative self-talk around. I replaced it with its positive opposite.

Our perspective often determines what we see as a problem. We only need to tell ourselves to see things in a different way to discover that they are often not really problems at all.

The Every-Day Replacement Habit

Awareness is key

You can make replacing old self-talk with new self-talk a habit. That habit begins with awareness; once you are aware of negative self-talk, little effort is needed to replace it. However, you do need persistence.

Replacing old self-talk creates a small shift in our mindset that pays big dividends. We perceive ourselves and our circumstances more positively, and our behavior follows our feelings.

We are actually changing old programming in the brain by creating new programs through repetition. If you repeat the same message long enough, the subconscious will consider it an operating program.

The brain creates new neural pathways when we replace old self-defeating thoughts with new empowering thoughts. There is a physical change that takes place within the brain.

If you repeat those new helpful thoughts enough, the neural pathways grow larger, and the new way of thinking becomes easier.

Shad Helmstetter puts it like this, “The more you think about yourself in a certain way, the more you will think about yourself in that same certain way!”

Catch those thoughts that seem counterproductive and immediately replace them with their positive opposite.

“I really have a problem here…” flip that around to “I am capable and handle problems well. Watch me handle this!”

“I can’t seem to get started today.” flip that around to “I do what I have to do when I have to do it. I am organized and in control, especially today.”

But remember, your old self-talk is a comfortable habit that will die hard. Expect that it will resist your efforts. Don’t give up. Persistence and determination are always rewarded.

2. Watching What You Say to Others

Self-talk is not just what you say to yourself. Your conversations with others are part of your self-talk. Watch your conversations; your subconscious takes what you say out loud as a directive, which is why complaining will work against you.

It might make you feel better if you tell a friend you don’t like your job, but everything you say is giving your subconscious a command.

If you keep telling people you hate your job, your performance, attitude, and feelings will worsen. The entire situation will spiral downward the more you complain about it.

When you start complaining about your situation, your brain will find a way to make it worse.

That’s how the subconscious works:

Repeat anything often enough and with passion, and it will become a subconscious program. Your behavior, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs flow from your subconscious programming.

Find a better way to talk about anything you don’t like, and your brain will make the best of it.

“This job is temporary. I am smart, capable, and creative and will do whatever it takes to get a better job. I will find a better job. Meanwhile, I will make the best of this situation while I am here.”

Don’t complain to others. Find a way to put a positive spin on anything you talk about; if you can’t, don’t talk about it.

Talk about yourself in a thoughtful way. Don’t put yourself down, even as a joke. Your subconscious is always listening and will work to make whatever you feed it a reality.

“The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.” ― Shad Helmstetter “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself”

3. Self-Conversation (out loud)

Self-conversation is the technique of holding a conversation with yourself. You hold both sides of the conversation down and speak out loud.

This may sound weird, but it’s powerful and kind of fun. It’s effective because it forces your mind to work in a new way. Talking out loud will help you clarify your thoughts. It forces you to get specific.

I like to use this method when I am driving. People will think you’ve gone bonkers if you start talking to yourself like this in public.

Shower talk

Shad Helmstetter calls this “shower talk.” As he steps into the shower every morning, he says, “Good morning! You look great today! You feel good, you’re in good shape, and you’re ready to tackle anything!”

Then he responds to himself, “Well, thank you! That’s true, I do feel terrific today! I feel good, I like who I am, and I’m glad to be alive and going for it!”

He goes back and forth, holding this conversation with himself as he showers.

This may sound silly, but try it for a few weeks. A rousing, motivational conversation with yourself first thing in the morning will change the tone of your entire day.

Dealing with setbacks

I use the self-conversation technique when confronted with a tough challenge or a setback. I will say, “Look at what you’ve been through in life. Look at all the tough times you’ve been through. You’ve faced them all head-on, and you’ve come out stronger and wiser. You’ve proven you are strong and resilient again and again.”

Then I will reply, “That’s right! Remember the time…I handled that situation, and it made me stronger in the end. I’ve been through so much and I will get through this challenge too… They’ve tried to stop me, but they can’t. I’m a force of nature! No one can stop me!”

Ask yourself questions

When trying to figure something out, I ask and then answer my own questions. I ask myself why something might work, or why it might not work out. I ask myself (out loud) what the smart move would be. I ask a question, then give an answer.

Become your own advisor. Ask yourself questions. You will be surprised at the straightforward answers you get when you speak with yourself out loud.

Don’t let this technique’s “weirdness” hold you back. Once you discover how powerful it is, you will use it when driving, in the shower, or anywhere else you can get some privacy.

4. Auto Suggestion

Auto Suggestion is when you write out, word for word, specific self-talk statements. You then repeat these phrases out loud at least three times every morning. This method has had amazing results for me, particularly in the area of finances.

The Self-Write method is effective because writing focuses your mind. Writing will clarify your thoughts; writing is real thinking. Your mind must be fully involved in the process when you write.

Repeat each phrase three times, with some passion, in the morning.

Some people find benefit in visualizing the words in their minds, like they are watching a teleprompter. Others like to look at themselves in the mirror as they repeat these phrases. Still others take the time to visualize these affirmations as if they are already accomplished.

The more energy you put into self-talk, the more it will work for you.

If you like to write and have the time, you will want to try this method. However, for many people, it takes too much time and effort.

Some practitioners have index cards with written statements for specific goals or problems.

Napoleon Hill calls this auto-suggestion in “Think and Grow Rich.” He suggests writing affirmations of the ideal person you want to become on index cards, then reading them three times each, twice a day, in the morning and evening.

There are rules for writing effective self-talk; you can read a post about that here.

Sometimes, I use my own crazy variation of this method: I write one powerful statement one hundred times before bedtime. This is good for zeroing in on one specific problem. The first time I tried this, I was astounded at the results. It was like I had somehow moved the universe to create a miracle.

Many people find the self-write method demands too much time and effort. Simple is best when it comes to personal development. If this method does not appeal to you, that’s not a problem; another easier method will work fine.

5. Recorded Talk

Recorded talk is the most convenient, easy-to-use method of self-talk.

What’s interesting about recorded self-talk is that you don’t have to actively listen to the words.

You can play a self-talk program while you get ready for work or do housework, and your subconscious will pick up these messages. In fact, it works best if you play it in the background while focusing on another activity

I play mine while exercising but do not actively listen to it. Fifteen minutes is enough, and it works!

There are self-talk CDs, mp3s, and apps available for your smartphone.

You can also write and then record your own self-talk program.

It’s very powerful when you listen to your own voice read these statements. It takes time and effort to craft your script and then record it, so it’s not for everyone. For those who are willing to do the work it’s extremely effective.

I listen to self-talk on my iPhone with an app created by Shad Helmstetter.

Shad Helmstetter is the leading authority on self-talk. He offers a monthly subscription app to access all his self-talk programs, and there is a 30-day free trial period. You can check it out here.

Some self-talk scripts are more effective than others. How they are worded is critical.

As someone who has studied and used self-talk extensively, I can only recommend the Helmstetter self-talk programs. In my opinion, they are simply the best. I use them, and they work for me.

Disclosure: If I’m not making money through affiliate links on the post you’re currently reading, it’s an oversight on my part and will be corrected soon.