21 Lessons I Learnt In 2021

Key Lessons To Take Into The New Year

This year has been an emotional rollercoaster full of highs and lows.

From switching jobs, getting a new car, letting go of a toxic friend, and the whole virus situation. It has been very eventful indeed.

Usually the end of the year, I become more reflective about the lessons that I learned this year.

So here are the takeaways from 2021.

1. Learn To Say No

At the start of this year, I took on many projects, particularly at university. People were asking me to join their groups which also meant more responsibilities. Many things were happening all at once and I was starting to feel quite overwhelmed but I had one problem; I had a hard time saying no.

It wasn’t until I burned out that I realized the importance of boundaries and learning to say no.

Don’t overcommit to projects or activities when you know that your plate is full.

2. Its Okay To Be Alone

You are to spend your whole life in your own body. You cannot escape from yourself so might as well enjoy your company, right?

Learn to be okay by yourself. Learn how to fix your own problems instead of depending on others.

Do things on your own. Watch a movie. Go shopping. Go to a class by yourself. Eat in public by yourself.

Only you are looking out for yourself.

3. Not Everyone Is Going To Like You

There is a cheesy quote that I like.

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there is going to be someone who hates peaches” — Dita Von Teese

You can be kind, generous, funny, positive and friendly to everyone but there are still people who won’t like you. You are not going to connect with everyone. You are not going to be friends with everyone.

In fact, most people you meet will be acquaintances but that’s okay. Sometimes people don’t ‘click’ with each other because everyone is different.

Throughout your lifetime, you will meet so many people. Don’t limit yourself to people who you don’t connect with. Go out and meet people (easier said than done, I know). Friendship is a numbers game.

4. Get Off Instagram

While I love the aesthetic photos on Instagram, I realized the more time I spend on Instagram, the more I start to compare my life to others.

When you go on Instagram, you fall down the comparison trap and the more you scroll, the deeper you fall.

You don’t need to know what other people are doing in their lives 24/7. In fact, when I used the app less often, I found myself more happier and focused.

Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes life to other’s highlight reels. Everyone has some crap going on in their lives.

5. Go Outside More

On a spontaneous day after work, I decided to go down to the river near my house to watch the sunset.

That was the first time (in a while), I truly felt relaxed and peaceful. I had felt trapped in the artificial boxed building at work but going into nature soothed all that.

So go outside more. Go to a beach, river, forest or park. Take off your shoes and feel the sand or grass underneath your feet. Breathe in the fresh air. Take a moment to stop and appreciate the natural environment around you. Nature is truly beautiful.

6. Learn To Let Go Of People

This year I had a fair share of ‘friendship drama’. Some were petty, others were unhealthy. This lead me to have to let go of people who I called friends.

At first, it was difficult. It felt like breaking up with a good friend, someone that you got along well with. However, some friendships and relationships are not meant to last.

Learn to let go of people who are no longer making you better. Let go of people who drain your energy.

7. Authenticity Over Being Fake

Authenticity has become my new life ‘word’. Authenticity means the state of being genuine and original. It’s about being who you want to be rather than conforming to the expectations of society and others.

Being authentic is about living life according to your own personal values, interests, and desires. As opposed to putting on a façade of who you think others want you to be.

I think this year, I am learning the importance of being true to myself and acting in accordance with my thoughts and feelings.

8. You Can Have As Many Existential Crises As You Want

I had around 12 existential crises this year (so about 1 crisis per month). This year I have never felt more lost, particularly career-wise.

I am going to be graduating soon with a bachelor’s in psychology and I had initially planned on doing a clinical masters program to become a clinical psychologist. However, I am realizing that path is no longer interesting for me. So now I am left with many more possibilities to choose from and is causing a lot of confusion.

Nevertheless, it’s okay to have an existential crisis (or maybe 12). Maybe you need one to help figure out what you are going to do with your life.

9. Stop Overthinking

You are a professional overthinker and you need to quit being one! I tend to overthink everything little detail about my life, especially during social interactions.

I realized that sometimes I take life a bit too seriously and I need to learn to relax and let go. I need to chill out and go with the flow of things rather than trying to control every aspect of my life.

10. The Only Time You Have Is The Present Moment

Confession, this was my last year’s goal but that failed so I’m trying to get better at it.

There is a quote that I like.

‘Now’ is the most precious thing — Unknown

It’s a reminder that all we have is the present moment. The past doesn’t exist and the future doesn’t exist. Only the present moment is what’s real so live in the now. Be grateful for it.

11. Easy Choices, Hard Life. Hard Choices, Easy Life.

I will use the classic example of going to the gym to illustrate this point.

The easy choice is to not go to the gym, it’s much easier to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. However, in the long run, that leads to a hard life of body aches, pain, and immobility.

Contrastingly, if you make the hard choice of going to the gym, for the long term, your body will be healthier and stronger.

Therefore, while making the hard choice feels difficult at the moment, it will lead to a better life in the long term.

12. Most Of Your Plans Won’t Go According To Plan

So if there’s anything I learned this year, it’s that most of your plans will not happen. In fact, most of my plans got thrown out the window!

This year, my life path definitely changed a lot. I thought was going down a certain path after university but my interests changed and so my path diverted too.

However, I am not encouraging you to not have any plans and ‘YOLO’ your life. Create plans. Have a vision for how you want your life to be but hold it loosely. Ensure the plan is open and flexible to change because it will most surely change.

13. Don’t Take Things Personally

I don’t like to admit this to myself but I am a sensitive person. I don’t take criticism well. I tend to get butt hurt over small comments directed at me.

This is something I am trying to let go of.

Learn to take everything with a grain of salt (unless it is constructive criticism). Don’t take offense to things people say about you.

Most of the time, it’s not you. It’s them.

14. Everything Changes

Nothing is constant. Life is like water, it will ebb and flow.

People change. Relationships change. Circumstances change. Don’t get so hung up on things staying constant because they won’t.

Change is the only constant.

15. If You Can’t Change Something, Accept It

I tell myself this when I start worrying or overthinking.

If you cannot change something, accept it for what is it. Simple.

Sometimes, you cannot do anything to fix a situation.

16. If You Can Change Something, Why Worry About It?

If you can change a situation or make it better, why should you worry about it?

What is the point in worrying about something that you can fix?

If you can take action about something you are worried about, then do it. It will reduce your anxiety by a mile.

17. Don’t Rush The Process

The feeling of being ‘behind in life’ was something I felt a lot this year. People around me were graduating and finding full-time jobs. Some were getting engaged, married, and having children. Others were moving out of home or traveling to other cities.

And here I was still in university living in my parent’s place. A part of me felt that I was ‘behind’ everyone else. As if life was like a race and I had to catch up to my peers.

However, I am trying to let go of this mindset. Life is not a race or a competition. I am not competing with my peers because everyone is on their own path.

You don’t need to rush your timeline. You are exactly where you need to be.

18. Don’t Be So Self-Critical

I can be a critical person, especially about myself. Negative self-talk is something I am trying to remove from my vocabulary.

Don’t have unrealistic expectations for yourself because that is when you will be disappointed. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and learn from them.

Practice self-compassion. You are human too.

19. Having Expectations Usually Lead To Disappointment

Having expectations is different from having standards.

You can have standards for how you want to be treated, however having expectations for how others should treat you will lead to disappointment. Not everyone will reciprocate back.

Treat people how you would want to be treated but don’t expect anything in return.

20. Don’t Spend Too Much Time Doing A Job You Hate

After doing a job that I did not really enjoy, I am coming to accept that some jobs are not a good fit for you.

You will not suit every job you get but that’s okay. When comes to your career, work with your strengths. There are different jobs for different people. You’re not going to be best friends with your boss or co-workers. You’re not always going to enjoy your job. You’re going to make mistakes when you start.

However, if you really hate your job it’s okay to leave. You can always find another one. You are not tied down to your place of employment. Your physical and mental health are more important than your job.

21. Keep Your Options Open

This is something I learnt the hard way. Don’t tunnel vision your life down a singular path because it will change. Have options and choices for yourself. It will make it easier to be more flexible and adaptable to change.

Opportunities are always out there, you just need to find them. Life is a journey so be open to where it takes you.

Sometimes, it could be better than you hoped for.

Goals for 2022

• Go to the gym
• Start rollerblading
• Go swimming more often
• Finish my degree
• Find a job I enjoy
• Meet more people
• Do a Low Buy Challenge
• Keep writing more articles
• Keep making more videos
• Spend more time in nature
• Strengthen my faith

Conclusion

So there are all the lessons that I learned from 2021.

It’s been a hell of a year filled with confusion, challenges, anxiety but also insight, reflection, and growth. There were a lot of new changes, I was revising my plans constantly, however, it has been very rewarding to look back on my accomplishments this year. I hope that you take these lessons and implement them into the new year.

Here’s to a better 2022! :)

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