No One Wants To Have Kids Anymore

Here’s Why

Imagine this.

It’s a bright and sunny afternoon. Your playing with your kids outside in the backyard.

You relax into the chair enjoying the sounds of the birds as you watch your kids run around, smiling and laughing.

You feel content and happy watching your family grow.

Fast forward 6 hours later.

It’s 2 am.

The baby’s woken up and starts crying. You wake up half asleep and drag yourself out of bed.

You try to soothe your child as you fight off the desire to fall back asleep. Your baby continues to cry into the night until they finally stop.

Relieved, your tuck your child back to bed and stumble back to your room as your eyes slowly close.

Ahhhh, the joys of parenting.

Parenthood Is Romanticised

Our society loves parenthood.

Movies and television show the best parts of parenting. Even commercials glamorize the role of parenthood. Parents are always portrayed as upbeat and always there for their children.

But it’s not just the media that romanticizes parenthood.

Go on Instagram and you will see an endless supply of curated images of ‘perfect’ families.

Happy parents proudly show off their children and their accomplishments.

At times is parenting actually like this? Yes, the moments when your child hugs you or smiles at you. Those are the moments that make you go awwwww.

But let’s face it, not everyone should have kids.

Families are the foundation of a society. A healthy society needs healthy families.

Dysfunctional families create a dysfunctional society.

So, with that being said, why are birth rates declining?

The Decline In Fertility

In 1965, the average woman in the world had 5 children.

But over the last 50 years, fertility rates have been cut in half. The global average fertility rate is 2.5 children per woman. So two children and half child? *Maths?*

This has largely been due to three main reasons.

The first reason being the empowerment of women by giving them greater access to education which has, in turn, increased their participation in the labor force.

This has meant more women are choosing to focus on their careers, travel, and relationships which means that having children are being pushed later in life.

The second reason is the decline in child mortality rates, which is a fancy way of saying fewer children are dying.

In mid 18th century Europe, parents lost between three or four of their children.

In fact, an English politician and barrister, William Brownlow, and his wife Elizabeth Duncombe had 19 children. Tragically, 13 of them died.

Fast forward to 2021, 97.5% of babies will survive the first five years of life no matter which country they are born into.

The third reason is the rising costs of raising children.

Let’s be honest, having kids is expensive.

When you consider;

• Childbirth and maternity care (approx. $4,500)
• Housing costs for a child (approx. $3,750 per year)
• Food costs for a child (approx. $2,794 per year)
• Childcare and education costs for a child (approx. $37,400 total)
• Transportation costs(approx. $1,947 per year)
• Other costs like toys and clothing (approx. 2,856 per year)

That’s around 22% of what parents will spend on a single child.

According to the USDA (US Department of Agriculture), the cost of raising a child from birth to when they are 18 years old is $233,610 for a middle-class family who are married and have two children.

So that’s approximately, $12,980 per year.

Consequently, this has lead to a decline in population growth worldwide.

So what have people been doing instead?

The Rise Of The Childfree Movement

On Tiktok, hashtags like #childfree and #nothaving kids have garnered 162 million views.

The term ‘childfree’ has been used to replace the traditionally held ‘childless’ term, which was associated with the societal expectation that women should be having children.

Today more women are choosing to become childfree even though they are in relationships.

The choice of not having kids is a personal and complicated matter.

Women’s reasons for not having kids range from; economic insecurity, political instability, the growing climate crisis, and changing gender norms.

Motherhood also requires an immense amount of support. The saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ rings true but over time, these support systems have been slowly disappearing as families move away from extended relatives.

Parents are also saying they lack adequate and reasonably priced government support. If more parents were provided with parental leave and cheaper childcare, this may incentivize more women to have children.

Yet, the choice to not have kids has also been met with criticism from others. Childfree women are considered ‘selfish’, ‘entitled’, and ‘heartless’ which creates a negative stigma around choosing to be childfree.

Traditional society has mainly viewed women as ‘reproducers’ and there is still negative judgment associated with being childfree by choice.

However, women in the Childfree movement are speaking up about the ability to have a choice without society’s negative evaluations of them.

Their message is having a child should be your personal choice and freedom, just like choosing motherhood is.

Conclusion

Ultimately, you may want to have children or you may not want to have children.

So maybe it’s time that our society starts to respect and understand the choices of women to remain childfree or become mothers.

Children can be a real blessing to parents who want to have children. However, having a child simply for the sake of fitting into society’s expectations when you are not absolutely certain about parenthood sets you up for resentment and bitterness.

Children deserve to have parents who are 100% committed to raising them to be healthy, functioning adults that contribute to society. To not do would be a disservice to future generations.

Having children cannot be reversed so its a decision you should not take lightly.

Women have the free will to choose whether they want children and its a choice that should not be dictated by external pressure, but rather a choice that comes from their personal convictions.

So simply put, having children should be a choice not an obligation.

Check out my website and YouTube channel for more insights!