Curry Flavoured Yoghurt and Other Things From Outer Space
12 Crazy Alternative TV Shows and Movies by Using Spoonerisms of Titles
Pin Tweaks, Tar Shrek, Buncle Yuck, The Yonder Weirs, Six and the Settee…
Spoonerisms are fun. If you disagree, you are a soaring bod.
Imagine if some of the most popular films and TV shows had alternative versions made from spoonerisms of their original titles. Ever wondered what that would be like? No, I didn’t think so, but here’s a list of them anyway.
WARNING:
Some of this might shock or disgust you. The intention here is not to offend or upset, but to express my dark and twisted sense of humour. If this mad shit is your sort of thing, carry on. If not, please go and find something lighter and tamer to read. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Pin Tweaks
An eccentric FBI agent arrives in a strange small town. He’s sent there to investigate why all the pins mysteriously keep going missing.
It turns out that a backwards-talking dwarf keeps stealing them. He’s been taking them to a room with red curtains and a zig-zag pattern on the floor. The final episode makes no sense at all, like the rest of it but even more so.
Waybotch
Drama series following a fatally incompetent lifeguard. There’s at least one drowning each week, sometimes as many as 36. The water is polluted with a strange glowing substance that causes everyone to get ill.
Every episode starts and ends with David Hasselhoff dancing to his own songs. Something like this:
The series gets terrible viewing figures. It’s cancelled halfway through the first season and The Hoff is insulted by many people on social media. He changes his name to Michael and starts to go insane:
Tar Shrek
A film that follows Shrek as he travels across galaxies whilst covered in tar. It doesn’t make any sense, I know, but I didn’t say any of this would.
Ben in Mac
Ben is a secret government agent. He wears a Mackintosh coat while investigating possible alien activity. That’s it. That’s all it is.
Actually, no, that’s not quite all it is. But the rest of it is a classified Government secret. So there!
Ben in Mac (Alternative Version)
A modern sequel to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. A father shrinks his kids by mistake, and one of them (Ben), gets inside an Apple Mac computer.
He gets electrocuted and dies. I never said these would have happy endings.
Ben in Mack
Two government agents, Ben and Mack, begin a secret gay love affair.
One of them accidentally falls in wet concrete and dies. The other one moves to India and dedicates the rest of his life to Buddhism.
(I have no idea what’s going on. I’m making this shit up as I go along. But continue reading anyway, because who knows what might happen.)
Three Babies and a Man
A film set in a strange parallel world where humans age in reverse. Three babies try to take care of a fully grown man who has a moustache and a hairy chest.
Three Bens and a Maybe
A film about three men all called Ben who are unsure which one is the father of a baby that’s about to be born. Maybe it’s Ben #1. Maybe it’s Ben #2. Maybe it’s Ben #3. Maybe it’s none of them.
Or it could be the milkman, postman, or that man who came to repair the boiler. Or maybe she’s having triplets and the “Ben Men” are all fathers to one triplet each. I’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks for how that happened.
Buncle Yuck
According to Urban Dictionary, a Buncle can mean either:
A black uncle
A baby uncle
An Uncle that lives in your house. Usually, is on disability for a false injury. They smoke cigars and wear jogging pants.
In the case of this particular film, he is a baby uncle.
The story revolves around a multi-generational family all living together in one house. The grandmother of the house is only 45, and so still hasn’t quite hit the menopause. In fact, she has an unusually high libido and is also a bit weird in the head.
Before the start of the film, her husband dies from electrocution of the genitals. (Sex game gone wrong.)
She then picks up a “toy boy” from her local gym. They have a lot of frantic, noisy sex (not shown on screen). Eventually, she gets pregnant and gives birth to a baby boy with a beard.
This baby is the uncle of her grandchildren, despite being younger than them.
Also, the baby has a weird defect that causes him to grow at an astonishing rate. John Candy stars as the baby. It’s one of the last films he made before he got killed by an insane horse while filming Wagons East.
The Yonder Weirs
A humming-of-cage series about a boy called Arvin Kennold. His annoying older brother constantly calls him “hut bed”. This refers to how his parents make him sleep in a hut in the garden because there aren’t enough bedrooms in the house.
His best friend is a boy from across the street called Dennis who has an unusually large head. It’s about twice the size of a normal head. Sometimes he has trouble staying upright and falls over. This is why he always wears padded head protection, which makes his head look even bigger. You can see him coming from several blocks away.
Six and the Settee
No, this isn’t a rip-off of Friends where six pals all hang out around a settee in a coffee shop.
It’s actually a spin-off of Blossom, focusing on the character of Six. It follows her during a dark period in her life where she loses all her family in a flood, making her homeless.
She ends up sleeping on a friend’s sofa. Not Blossom’s sofa, though. Unfortunately, Blossom and all her family died of diphtheria.
Heavily Bills
Reality TV series following a group of famous people all called Bill. They all stay on an island while attempting to lose their COVID-19 lockdown weight.
Stars Bill Gates, Bill Cosby, Bill O’Reilly, Bill Murray, Bill Bryson, Bill Maher, Bill Wyman, Bill Nighy, and of course, Bill Clinton.
During episode 14, Bill Gates buys the whole of California and turns it into a gigantic vaccine factory.
Unfortunately, many of the vaccines accidentally get switched with LSD. This leads to The Great California Mass Hallucination.
Some people still haven’t recovered. Will Smith in particular. He still thinks up is down and left is purple.
Jim Carrey actually slid into a parallel universe. This is a fact, and you can’t argue with facts. He returns home occasionally, but only to paint all the bridges turquoise.
Oprah Winfrey can’t stop dancing, even when there’s no music playing. People say it’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life.
Will Farrell grew an afro so big it’s now got its own zip code.
Leonardo DiCaprio can no longer say (or think) the word “zebra”. This has been confirmed by his doctor, and doctors are always right, so shut up.
Dawn of the Shed
First came Dawn of the Dead, then Shaun of the Dead, and finally Dawn of the Shed. It follows the character of Dawn from the original British version of The Office.
The company she works for goes bankrupt. As if that wasn’t bad enough, all her family and friends are then killed during the Berkshire Vomitting Epidemic of 2005.
After that, she lives in a shed. She tries to convince one of her neighbours to swap it for their house. But, as I’ve already said, this is one of the 42 Most Horrifically Insane Things You Shouldn’t Do to Yourself.
Irrelevant concluding section
Thank you for reading my thoroughly-researched article about owls. I hope you found it interesting and informative. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to post them. I will reply as soon as I’ve finished my oboe practice.
Sorry, that’s not true. I don’t play the oboe. I play the baboon. Sorry, I mean the bassoon.
Sorry, I’m still lying. I don’t play any musical instruments. I do karate. With chimpanzees.
Sorry, not chimpanzees. Lego.
Why are you still reading this nonsense?
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