10 Ways to Re-establish Feminine Energies in You
Men only, not for women (?!)
Although Otis is not known for his fingering skills in the TV show Sex Education, men like Otis is the best kind of men to date, to love, and to have sex with.
One key reason is that he has feminine qualities in him that makes him a balanced man with sensibilities to his spouse’s needs, feelings and desires. Thanks to his sex therapist mum, he has learned that sex is not purely for his own performance and pleasure, and relationship is about communication and soul-level connection.
Dating a man with balanced masculine and feminine energies is like running freely in a willow field during the golden hour — it’s warm, care-free and enjoyable.
Unfortunately, popular culture, strange interpretation of religious texts and society have built up a very biased image of masculinity — the hyper, muscular, no-crying one.
If you are up for rebalancing and re-establishing the feminine energies in yourself, please read on.
What’s femininity in men?
Because the world “feminine energies” are often mixed up with “femininity and “female”, many people dismiss the presence of feminine energies in men.
“Your feminine side gets expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process.” — Mind Body Green
Masculine energy on the other hand is when you push to get something done, it’s very goal-oriented.
I hope you can see now why both men and women will need to have both energies to live life to the fullest.
I was a manly woman
It’s not like I was a tomboy or a butch, nothing like that. However, over the years of working with many alpha men, I tried so hard to fit in.
During that time, I went on an escape room date with a guy. He remarked that the date was more like hanging out with a brother. I admitted I was wearing jeans and trainers and was working so hard to win the game, but that shouldn’t make me a bro, right?
Rather than going for the sexy Femme Fatale image, which many women find themselves doing in a male-dominated work environment, I become the man. One of the brothers, in order to get deals and projects that only existed over a pint in the pub.
I became very competitive and goal-oriented. I was rushing from one task to another, from one place to another. “Midori is a machine,” they said.
Eventually, I found myself breathless and loss in the big picture. I was anxious, impatient and angry. It took me a long time to ground myself and enjoy the flow of life. If a woman can lose her feminine side, then men can really benefit from taking the time to check in with their feminine energies.
10 things we can do to get more feminine energies
- Face massage: skincare is not a women-exclusive activity, especially after I discovered how many products men use to keep their hair sleek and beard smooth. Good facial oil can be used to both moisturise our skin and give ourselves a tension-releasing massage — here’s how you do it.
- Yoga: It is largely branded as an exercise for women in the West but yoga was ancient energy movements for all people. Yoga helps to align our body, mind and soul. The slow movements and stillness also help us to become aware of our body and movements. Advanced yoga requires so much muscle strength and control, and it balances the overly active exercise routines we do. Here’s a helpful article about why yoga is great for men.
- Baths: Marketers have misbranded bubble baths as something women do, but men and women in volcanic regions such as Japan have been benefiting from the hot mineral water for years. Bathing relaxes us and is a mindful activity. Feel the hot water tickling our skin, enjoy the sound of running water, and it also grounds us.
- Cook slowly: It’s interesting how most chefs are men but most home cooks are women. Slow home-cooking such as delicate recipes, stews and baking, are great mindfulness practice. Cooking slowly helps us to fully immerse ourselves in the sensations of fresh ingredients, activate our five senses and become fully in the flow of the present moment.
- Hygge: A Danish practice that is now very on-trend, the image of surrounding ourselves with soft bracket, warm drinks and glowy candle lights feel super cosy. Carving out time for hygge time, be it reading a book, chatting with a friend or writing a journal really help us to stay calm. There’s no goal involved, if we strive to become hygge, we immediately lose it.
- Listen: In a typical Irish pub, men are trying to speak on top of each other. Their fake laughter amused me always, and it’s because people are trying hard to catch each other’s attention rather than listening to others. True listening is an art, it requires us to switch off our brain to form the next sentence but listen for the sake of listening. Well, Mother’s Day is coming and it’s a perfect time to practise listening to your mum, wife, or grandma.
- Dance: Our experience with dancing is probably in a club. I miss it too, but dancing can be a private and freeing experience. It’s really magical when our body is responding to the beats so much that it’s moving along it, like Hugh Grant in Love Actually, or this scene in Umbrella Academy. It’s so hard to move our body again after being so restrictive for so long, so on a lovely Saturday afternoon, close the door and enjoy a good old wiggle!
- Star-gazing or sea-watching: Since I move to the coastal countryside, I spend more time than ever watching the sea and gazing the stars. It’s such a romantic thing to do, but observing the nature of any kind really puts us into perspective, and more importantly, reduces our ego.
- Play a musical instrument: Many men like music but not many play (of course, same as women). As a classically-trained pianist, my musicality evolved when I began to improvise and let my fingers danced on the keyboard. Music is magic, and creating music is an equally magical experience. So pick up the guitar or even a harmonica, and transform into Snufkin from the Moomin Valley.
- Pray/Journal/meditate: I find that people who pray, meditate or journal are more in touch with their innermost thoughts. What inside us can be scary to look at and many of us suppress our feelings because of shame, guilt or other silly reasons. All these are a great way to open up to yourself, and the perfect time to do it is of course whee you are 8. star-gazing or sea-watching, in your 5.hygge spot!
More articles from Midori by the Sea:
