Every Man Needs a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Just Don’t Fall in Love with Them
The beauty of opposite-sex friendships and how this can heal us the way no other people can
Manic Pixie Dream Girls (MPDG) is a type of movie characters coined by film critic Nathan Rabin, as someone “exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.” — Wikipedia
Think of Kirsten Dunst, Zooey Deschanel, Natalie Portman, Audrey Hepburn, et al.
Legends.
Subsequent to that, as part of the feminist rethinking of how the movie industry has been dominated by men and women become a supporting role only for the development of male heroes, the creation of MPDG has been criticized heavily.
The point here is that women have their own life and don’t revolve around men or even one man.
I totally agree. But I believe MPDG can be a person that happens to exist at a given time and space for a specific person during a time they need inspiration the most.
An MPDG doesn’t have to assume this identity all the time, but to be a muse for others (men or not) with powerful insights and unexpected imagination, is a blessing to all people.
Here is why MPDG is a healing friend, as long as the guy doesn’t think with their penis and wounded soul:
Real gems of MPDG
I don’t think TV series like New Girl, 500 Days of Summer, or even Breakfast at Tiffany’s were purely made from a man’s perspective.
These MPDGs are living their own life, having their own needs, difficulties, dreams, and aspirations, yet they have inspired their love interests in the movie and many more people watching it.
An MPDG usually sees life differently, so their behavior, though quirky and peculiar, is aligned to their worldview. This worldview creates powerful impacts on ordinary people. They are mind-blowing.
This is what MPDG fundamentally is — they live intentionally through their unique lens of seeing life, and in turn wow others.
We all need to be inspired by real-life MPDGs.
Don’t fall in love with an MPDG
If a story segment happens to be about a lost man who comes across an MPDG and life’s changed by it, so what? This doesn’t mean the MPDG’s life revolves around that guy.
In 500 Days of Summer, Summer appeared, rocked Tom’s life, left him too as she went on in pursuit of her true love.
She didn’t revolve around him, he did.
Tom was lost and depressed, he was obsessed with Summer. In a subsequent interview, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who played the character of Tom), also clarified this:
“A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.”- Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Not all opposite-sex friendships should evolve into romantic relationships.
Having the wrong idea will just lead to a bad ending.
In the classic trilogy of the Before series — Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight, the director uses 18 years and 3 films to show that marrying your dream MPDG doesn’t mean happily-ever-after.
Focus on having a healthy view of relationships
Some friendships serve as an inspiration or a happy memory for us to move forward, the more we tie them down the more obscured it will become for both people.
When someone is fun, we tend to want more. But like fireworks, it’s fun too but if we get too close we will get burned. Wanting someone that’s not a good match for you is the recipe for failure, no matter how great they seem to be. Together, you are not compatible.
A true relationship is not based on excitement and wow, but based on healthy communication and mutual support.
Just because an MPDG is interesting, that doesn’t mean it’s love. Turning this into love simply means that the guy has made a bad judgment. So he needs to learn to observe more objectively, and sort his ideas of love out!
If you have an MPDG by your side
If you are lucky to have met an MPDG (man/woman, doesn’t matter), treasure this friendship that’s unlike any others.
Spending time with an MPDG is epic because you will go to interesting places and do crazy things that you will never otherwise have the guts or even think to do it.
Use this as a chance to learn about yourself, be enlightened by them.
In a world where people don’t make judgments based heavily on looks and genders, an MPDG can simply be a guru. Just because they are often beautiful doesn’t mean their brain isn’t powerful. A guru doesn’t need to look like Buddha, it can happen to look like Cara Delevingne too.
So if you think you’ve fallen in love with this crazily hot and interesting person, and can’t believe that you’re lucky enough to be skinny dipping with them in a lake in the middle of Italy, then focus on the present moment, don’t try to force them into your life more than they already are.
If you think the feelings might be mutual, ask them frankly what they think about romance and love. More likely than not, you will get an answer Summer told Tom again and again in the movie — “I am not looking for anything serious”.
Also, don’t then be hurt when they get serious with someone else.
Bonus comment on friendship
Friendships are not always life-long. This is quite an individualistic way to look at an individual’s life.
What if the universe puts individuals in our lives to serve a specific function? It’s a blessing that in a particular time of need, we meet someone that can help us to change our perspectives.
Why can’t we accept that?
It’s my blessing to have met many people who remove my sorrow over a night of intense conversation, some have continued to wow me every day for years. These are all MPDGs in my life, and in turn, I know I have been an MPDG to some people.
Don’t fall in love with them too quickly, enjoy the moment of friendship. Be inspired, be healed, be reborn.
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