How I Masturbate Without Dirty Thoughts and Porn

My Step by Step Guide to Mindful Masturbation (for all Sexes) that will Keep Your Orgasm for Hours.

It all started from a debate with a Christian guy. This brother told me he feels guilty for masturbating. He was disgusted by his web browser, one tab with Bible Gateway on, and another incognito tab with Porn Hub on.

I said you can masturbate without porn. He was very quick to dismiss my insane idea, “It’s not possible, I’ve been doing that since I was 13.”

Silly man, how do you think our ancestors masturbated in the past? Before the invention of technology and even words? Did they just go and peek others bathing whilst jerking off? Perhaps, but obviously, they also just did it themselves (remember they had a lot more free time than we do now)! Our mind is a powerful one, and please never underestimate the libido of your body.

He said, “But there’s still dirty imagination. The bible says it’s still a sin to look at women lustfully.” (It’s Matthew 5:28 if you must know)

So I placed a moneyless bet with him (because Christians don’t gamble) that I can get to climax without porn and dirty thoughts.

Here’s how it went for me and why I don’t even bother to masturbate any other way again.

Step 1: Get comfy

I only need three things to get ready: pillows, duvet and privacy. Right now, I’m sitting up, leaning on my mountain of pillows. I’m writing on my laptop, which is above my duvet over my legs. My masturbation position is pretty much the same position as my writing position, minus the laptop.

Find what feels good. You might even need some music, candles, in a bubble bath, with a glass of champagne, whatever you like!

For guys, you would also want to have some tissues or a towel within reach. trust me you don’t want to walk to the loo for it, it spoils the after joy.

Step 2: Hand(s) in position

I can guarantee you that most people don’t know what works for them. They might have seen some movies (like American Pie), have a vague concept about what masturbation is, think there’s only one way to do it, and never researched about it.

What is the position? Which finger(s) to use, how hard, how quick, where’s the spot? For guys specifically, do I play with my balls too, using two hands, how hard, what do I do with the foreskin, asshole?

The answer is obvious, there’s no right way. But you should explore. I’ve girls telling me that they don’t like fingering themselves or, they just don't orgasm. I told them that there’re so many different ways to masturbate. Maybe your G-spot is much further inside that you need a dildo to assist, or you might need a very light buzz on the top bit of your clit because it’s so sensitive. It’s possible the fact that you don’t love masturbation because you haven’t listened to your body.

My only advice on this for girls specifically is that the porn category jerk off instruction (JOI) is absolutely unrealistic. They are made for men.

Step 3: Mindful masturbation

Get set, ready, go! As you are exploring different techniques, areas, speed etc., most people will automatically enter dirty mind mode (or porn mode).

It’s good to do that, but for mindful masturbation, you don’t need that. You observe your breath first, just like meditation.

Here’s my in-breath, here’s my out-breath, and the air coming in my nostril is cooler than the air coming out.

This will calm your energy (yes, excitement comes in a bit), and set your body and mind to the most sacred form of meditation — masturbation.

Now your hands/fingers/vibrators are making their moves. You put your mind solely on the body part that touches the hands/fingers/vibrators. Note, it is the part that’s receiving the action, not the part doing the action. The latter is serving as a tool.

It’s like a body scan meditation, you begin to differentiate and feel for each of your body. You start from the surface of the receiving organs, be it your dick, or your clit. As the action continues, you feel what’s happening inside, i.e. your vagina, or the inside of your penis. Acknowledge that and follow the sensation, be curious.

As it goes, you will notice the stimulation of muscles that you never notice if you masturbation with visual or other aids. Every group of my body muscles are responding, especially my quads and calves. They become so tight it was like a workout, or as if I’m running in stilettos. You might also feel that the top of your head is on fire, your neck tenses up.

Keep going, you are about to experience the most intense orgasm ever.

Step 4: Just ride with it!

As you keep going, it will reach a point that your mind will be like what the heck is going on with infinite exclamation marks. Then you will have the most powerful orgasm of your lifetime.

After that, your breathe and heartbeat should be pretty heavy and fast (check your Apple Watch and let me know!). It’s unlikely that you will be able to move for a while, it feels very much like after a very intense deep tissue massage. All your knots are loosened, it’s a good workout.

I recall the first time I practise mindful masturbation, I couldn’t leave my bed for the next four hours. I was in shock and bliss, with a mysterious smile all day.

It was through masturbating this way, did I manage to sleep properly for the first time since I have an anxiety disorder. It really has healing properties!

So no, I can’t see sin in relation to masturbation, brother, if you don’t get too automatic with porn and dirty thoughts. Sex is really not what people say it is, it’s not just about lust, or intercourses, or violating your morality. It’s about a dance with your body, an opportunity to get to know your physical self.

It’s healing, it’s tender, and it’s sacred. I can’t find a better form of self-care than this.