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Abstract

to tell others why someone is setting you on edge, it often sounds so trivial. As the words are coming out of your mouth, you find yourself thinking, “Wow, I probably sound super paranoid.”</p><p id="2b40">So, instead of going with your gut, you tell yourself the innocent explanation must be the correct one. You keep going along with it.</p><p id="2666">All those pink flags only start looking red once you’ve seen enough of them — <b>once you’ve noticed a clear pattern emerging.</b></p><p id="a47d">Depending on how experienced you are at dealing with people’s shit and how overt the asshole you’re dealing with is, it could take hours, days, months, or years before you piece it all together.</p><p id="619a">Recently, I had someone reach out to me who gave me kind of weird vibes. I felt like he was laying the groundwork for something (what exactly, I don’t know, but something).</p><p id="dc34">First, he reached out with some effusive praise on one of my articles. But he did it as a private message, not as a regular response.</p><p id="6e44">That made me a bit ill at ease. But I had a hard time really understanding why. I mean, private messages are a thing, and he didn’t say anything off color in it.</p><p id="a878">The private messages kept coming. I ignored them (can’t clap on private messages and I had nothing to say), but had the same odd feeling that I couldn’t fully explain.</p><p id="0ced">Eventually, he gave me some effusive praise and I thanked him. He responded within an hour asking if we could talk off Medium. Ostensibly, it was so we didn’t have to deal with the character limit (though there would have been none if he had just sent me regular responses).</p><p id="75b2">I decided to check out some of his stuff. The first thing that stood out was a very misogynistic article. And then I came across not one but two love letters he wrote to an unnamed Medium writer, each of them with a strong stalker vibe. (I don’t know if they were about me or not, but either way, they were creepy.)</p><p id="b8fb">When I told him I didn’t want to move my relationships with my readers off Medium, he made up an excuse and backpedaled. He claimed he was a professional sex coach and only wanted to offer me some advice about my clitoris.</p><p id="d078">Then, before the day was over, he went back to a post I wrote weeks before called <a href="https://readmedium.com/no-one-owes-you-a-chance-bef1a3ac4072">No One Owes You a Chance</a>. He left a lengthy response that implied that women who don’t give him a chance (e.g. me, just earlier) are bitter, angry, heartless bitches.</p><p id="9b52"><b>Yeah, his intentions were <i>totally </i>professional…</b></p><p id="fe6b">At that point, I cut communication with him before he could try to take things further. I blocked him. He deleted his response. And I hope that’ll be the last of it.</p><p id="0089">Now, given everything I know now — especially those super stalkery posts — it’s clear to me that the private messaging was a red flag. It’s also clear that asking to communicate off Medium is a bit of a red flag here. It’s quite likely he was laying the groundwork for something.</p><p id="a8c5" type="7">But up until that point, each of those individual actions seemed kind of innocent. Pink flags at best.</p><p id="682a">And that’s another way women “ignore” red flags — because each of them on their own doesn’t look that bad.</p><h1 id="3135">“Not All Men” Men Need to Sit the Fuck Down</h1><p id="f59f">There’s one more reason women ignore red flags. <b>We’re constantly being told we should.</b></p><p id="ec92">One big part of the problem is all the men who cry out “Not All Men” whenever women discuss the shit they deal with.</p><p id="c488">We have a lot of reasons for sharing our stories — it’s cathartic, it’s healing, and it helps us bond and understand each other.</p><p id="640e" type="7">It’s also a way of issuing warnings.</p><p id="2010">It’s because we share our bad experiences that we know about fuckboys and how to spot them. Or what to do if our boyfriend turns out to be a narcissist. Or that “Nice Guys” often have a total disregard

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for our sexual consent.</p><p id="02c9"><b>That shit’s fucking critical.</b></p><p id="4234">I didn’t have those kinds of conversations when I was younger and I didn’t have access to them online. So, I ended up in some risky situations, or got too close to guys who deep down did not give a shit about me, because I was figuring it all out on my own.</p><p id="8542">But now when we finally share our stories so that we can show each other (and clue some guys in) the red flags and pink flags we need to be mindful of, we keep hearing from men who are annoyed that we’re painting them with a broad brush.</p><p id="3147">Sometimes they don’t say “not all men.” Sometimes, they say that we should give guys a chance even if we feel weird. Sometimes, they say it’s not fair that they get treated like potential rapists just because they were being really forward because damnit they mean well.</p><p id="9486"><b>But in the end, what they’re doing is telling us not to trust our instincts. </b>They’re telling us that we need to give men the benefit of the doubt. They’re telling us to set aside our gut feelings because following them might mean we’re judging a decent guy too harshly.</p><p id="a9f5" type="7">And that’s one of the reasons women ignore red flags — because we’re constantly told we should, even when protecting men’s egos puts us at more serious risk.</p><p id="440e">I’m sure it sucks being treated with suspicion, but there’s a reason we have to be suspicious even if it has nothing to do with you personally. Those guards she’s putting up — the ones that make it trickier for you to interact with her — <b>they might be the only thing keeping her from being abused or having the worst night of her life.</b></p><p id="0515">So if you ever feel like a woman is unfairly treating you like a potential threat, understand that she has to put her safety first. <b>She deserves your empathy, not your contempt.</b></p><p id="cbb2"><a href="https://emmaaustin.substack.com/p/welcome-to-my-newsletter"><b><i>Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter</i></b></a><b><i> (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)</i></b></p><p id="0320"><b>❤ If you liked this post, you might also love:</b></p><div id="c7dc" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-real-reason-shes-not-being-honest-with-you-76ebab3ff50c"> <div> <div> <h2>The Real Reason She’s Not Being Honest With You</h2> <div><h3>She wants to be straightforward — it’s just not safe</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*5gk1jvdsTLP_qzsFVPr3tg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="17a8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/men-hitting-on-women-online-need-to-up-their-game-8c077ca48fc"> <div> <div> <h2>Men Hitting on Women Online Need to Up Their Game</h2> <div><h3>It’s not hard — here’s how to do it</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*M_wLC7GCweb2S5mI8TLexw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="0e7a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/signs-your-new-boyfriend-might-be-a-narcissist-e55b2e6d7e2b"> <div> <div> <h2>Signs Your New Boyfriend Might Be a Narcissist</h2> <div><h3>After years of narcissistic abuse, I’m on the lookout for red flags</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*xekbc_KPuOOC_xD8maW9Kw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Health and Longevity

10 Steps to a Longer Lifespan by Preventing Premature Death

Life is filled with uncertainties, yet there are many aspects we can shape and manage via healthy lifestyle choices.

Like many people, I keep thinking about increasing the odds of living longer, healthier, and happier. There are some straightforward steps we can take to boost our chances. They all revolve around lifestyle choices and mindful living.

Premature death is when someone passes away earlier than what is typically expected. The exact age limit for what’s considered ‘premature’ can vary depending on the study or context. However, it’s generally recognized as occurring before reaching 75 years of age.

I’ve been fascinated by the lives of centenarians who live 100 years or more. My curiosity has led me to explore their incredible lifestyles, wisdom, and secrets to health, fitness, and long life.

This captivating journey has become both a hobby and a serious research endeavor, allowing me to delve deep into the science and art of longevity and uncover patterns, especially in relation to their remarkable cognitive abilities.

I reviewed many scientific papers on longevity studies examining the lives of centenarians. Some were The Longevity Project, The New England Centenarian Study, The Okinawa Centenarian Study, The Framingham Heart Study, and Blue Zone Studies.

These studies use various methods, including observational research, genetic analyses, and clinical and intervention trials, to gain a deeper insight into the intricate mechanisms that drive healthy and graceful aging.

Based on my years of research on longevity studies, several patterns are evident. The first one is choosing a healthy lifestyle. This means eating right, moving the body regularly, and eliminating harmful habits like smoking, excessive alcohol use, and drugs.

The second one is prevention methods to stay ahead of diseases, as I covered in my Health 3.0 vision. For example, getting regular check-ups and timely vaccinations can lower the risks dramatically and save our lives.

The third one is stress (physical, emotional, mental), which is a silent killer. Managing stress with healthy lifestyle choices can lower chronic inflammation and significantly improve healthspan and lifespan.

And the final but equally important one is to build healthy relationships and meaningful social connections. Having friends and a support system matters. It’s not just good for our minds, but it can help us live longer too.

So, why are these steps such a big deal?

If we know these patterns and implement their measure in our lives, we might significantly increase our healthspan and lifespan. For example, avoiding chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and dementia can boost our health and lifespan significantly.

We can enjoy a better quality of life. We can support our loved ones, friends, and communities and contribute to the economy. Wouldn’t it be great to play with our grandchildren in our old age?

To inspire you, first, I’d like to give ten astonishing facts (qualitative and quantitative) well-documented in the literature and evident in the lives of centenarians I observed for decades. Then, I will provide a summary of practical steps to implement them.

Defeating the Top 10 Causes of Premature Death

1 — Just 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week can cut your risk of early death by a third by lowering the risks of many diseases, including cancers.

2 — A balanced diet of whole foods can lower the heart disease risk by a quarter.

3 — If you quit smoking, you might add a decade to your life.

4 — Chronic stress can raise our early death risk by 30%, but mindful living factors like meditation can help lower that risk.

5 — Regular check-ups for our biomarkers and early disease detection of diseases can boost our chances of beating various conditions to shorten our lives.

6 — Strong social connections can slash our risk of early death in half.

7 — Limiting alcohol intake might reduce early death risk by 13% and prevent liver diseases like alcoholic cirrhosis and neurological disorders like Korsakoff syndrome.

8 — Immunizations protect against deadly diseases. The flu vaccine, for example, can cut our risk of flu-related death by 40–60%. I assume the COVID-19 vaccine saved many lives. We will find out in a few years.

9 — Poor sleep can hike early death risk by 12%. Improving our sleep quality can mitigate that risk.

10 — Taking care of our mental and neurological health is crucial. It can improve our overall well-being and reduce the risk of early death.

By understanding these simple steps, their impact, and implications, we can make informed choices to live a longer, healthier, and happier life.

Imagine adding extra years to your life, all the way past 75. Let’s discuss the top 10 culprits that might snatch away those precious years and how we can outsmart them.

You may ask, what are the most significant diseases statically shortening our lives? Let me give you the list from credible sources like the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The primary culprits for premature death are cardiovascular diseases like heart attacks and stroke, respiratory diseases like COPD, lower respiratory infections like pneumonia, tuberculosis, Alzheimer's disease, and other dementias, digestive diseases including kidney and liver cancers, diarrhoeal diseases, and neonatal conditions.

Here is the graphical representation of the big picture between 2000 and 2019 to give you an idea of the culprits.

Image from World Health Organization Public Site

10 Steps to a Longer Lifespan by Preventing Premature Death

I will summarize some critical recommendations in the growing literature.

Step 1 — Cover the Basics: Start with the essentials like eating well to prevent nutritional deficiencies, focusing on nutritional biochemistry, moving the body, getting restorative sleep, and making time for fun. These are non-negotiable.

Step 2 — Maintain a Healthy Weight: Avoid being overweight or obese following the fundamentals in the first step, as it increases our risk for many diseases.

Step 3 — Manage Stress and Inflammation: This is a big one. So, find healthy ways to deal with stress. For example, live mindfully and work in a flow state. Meditate and do mind-body exercises like yoga, Tai Chi, or Martial Arts, have new hobbies, get some sunlight, and spend time outdoors. If you are healthy, consider fasting or time-restricted eating to stay in ketosis to defeat chronic inflammation.

Step 4 — Kick the Habits: Quit smoking. It’s the top cause of preventable death globally. Limit alcohol. Refrain from recreational drugs. Avoid other risky behaviors.

Step 5 — Breathe Easy: Don’t let breathing problems slow you down. Avoid toxins and pathogens from the environment. Breathe fresh air. Oxygenate the body. Use air cleaning devices when needed. Keep your lungs healthy, and get timely professional support about breathing problems.

Step 6 — Stay Vaccinated and Keep Hygiene: Get recommended vaccines to protect yourself from infectious diseases. For examle for liver you may consider hepatitis shots if needed. Keep things clean, get flu and pneumonia shots, and stay strong to fight infections.

Step 7 — Stay Social and Develop Healthy Relationships: Pay attention to your relationships. Collaborate and keep solid and meaningful social connections. Show acts of kindness and gratitude daily.

Step 8 — Manage Diabetes and Metabolic Conditions: Control sugar and insulin levels with a balanced diet, eat sensibly, refrain from junk food, stay hydrated, and manage stress and weight. Keep an eye on your blood sugar and your blood pressure. Use medications wisely.

Step 9 — Boost Your Brain, Mind, and Heart: Keep your mind active with four types of exercises, use three types of respite and brain stimulation, stay social, look after your heart health, and eat brain and heart-healthy foods to prevent heart diseases and cognitive decline.

Step 10 — Prevent Accidents: Live mindfully. Take precautions when driving or biking, like using seatbelts and helmets. Protect your head during aggressive games or sports. Mitigate fracture risks by preventing sarcopenia and osteoporosis.

Unfortunately, genetics can throw surprises, but a healthy lifestyle is our secret weapon to create epigenetics. As stress affects us at a genetic level, we need to manage it well. Regular check-ups can catch problems early, giving us a better shot at a long, vibrant life. Stay healthy and enjoy life.

Final Words

We all want to live a long life, but the real goal is to live a long and healthy life. We don’t know how long we will live, but we should make the most of our time.

Let’s face it; our time on this beautiful planet is limited, and one day, we will all start our unique journey beyond. While some dream of pushing the boundaries of human lifespan to a remarkable 1,000 years, the reality today is that the oldest person on record lived a little over 120 years.

I’ve uncovered precious insights summarized in this story by exploring longevity from different perspectives, like health, fitness, happiness, and overall well-being.

Yet, what has genuinely moved and motivated me is the remarkable centenarians within my circles. These exceptional people serve as living, breathing sources of inspiration we can all learn from.

They teach us that a life well-lived means keeping our bodies and minds engaged and continuing to appreciate the world around us.

Wise people hold the precious gift of forgiveness and letting go close to their hearts, casting aside grudges and negativity, understanding that our time here is too short to waste on such trivialities, and keep smiling and laughing.

So, as we journey through our lives, let us remember the lessons from those who’ve traveled far and wide before us. We should live daily with self-care, vitality, support, kindness, gratitude, and appreciation for the beautiful, fleeting moments that make life worth living.

I personally focus on living a healthy and happy life rather than merely living a long one with pain and suffering. How about you?

Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.

I’ve condensed my research into significant health conditions in concise summaries of 62 articles. I trust these stories could prove valuable to anyone delving into these conditions.

Major Health Conditions

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Disclaimer: My posts do not include professional or health advice. I only document my reviews, observations, experiences, and perspectives to provide information and create awareness.

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