TRANSGENDER

1-Year-Old T-Day!

12 months since I started T

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The twelfth month in review Other changes Are you my peeps? Are you new here? The daily journal

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The twelfth month in review

Can you believe it? One whole year on Testosterone! Seems like only last month I was having my trans freak-out, haha.

We’ll do things a little differently this time. Instead of noting the changes this month, I’m going to go through the whole FOLX Health list. Should be interesting.

Thank you to everyone who has come with me on the journey — those of you who have been reading this from the start, those of you who are reading THIS post and finding me for the first time, and the amazing bundle of Medium friends I’ve found along the way. One year. Damn! Crazy.

Here’s a review of the changes I’ve experienced (and haven’t) over my first year on T based on a list of possible changes (FOLX Health, 2020).

• Deepened voice — I’ve definitely experienced a deepening of my voice. It’s really quite significantly noticeable when I sing! That was unexpected because I know a few trans-masc peeps who stopped taking T because they were losing their ability to sing. Then again, I couldn’t sing before T, so that’s probs important to acknowledge, haha. I still pitch up at times, accidentally falling back into learned behaviors, but it’s a WIP!
• Changes to monthly periods/regular bleeding — Argh! Ok, for the sake of sharing this for the person who comes after me and finds this helpful, I shall answer this. You know what’s damn frustrating? Being on T for a year and still… having… THAT. Barely, but still. Upping my does has made a difference so I’m hoping it’s all done now. Is that enough? Can I move on? Ick! Lol.
• Facial and body hair growth — Oh yeah, that’s a thing. What I’ve really learned this year is that I definitely don’t sit close to either end of the binary. I’m not sure if I’m right in the middle or not even on the spectrum. It’s a current exploration — agender? Who knows? But whatever ‘label’ I end up connecting with, I don’t want any of the things that go with either binary label. Some want all the things, I want none. BUT, more hair is the price to pay for all the great things T has done for me. It can be removed, after all. Having said that, I don’t mind the legs, the arms, or even the chest. I love the snail trail. But I hate the facial hair. Luckily, it hasn’t come in too extensively, but it’s only going to increase. This is a great example of there is not only one way to be trans!
• Increased muscle mass/strength — Now this, I like! I like it a lot! This was one of the first things to kick in and that feeling, from day 2, never went away! Once I upped my dosage, it kicked in again with renewed vigor and my legs really started feeling it too. Everything I do, from running to carrying a shopping bag, is like a damn workout and it feels awesome.

• Body fat redistribution from hips and thighs — For any trans masc peeps in your first year on T (or thinking about it) with hip dysphoria, all I can say is patience, young padawan! Because this shit can be magic! Not only have I lost the hips, but I can feel the hints of cum gutters! Sorry, yes, I know that term has a few meanings but I once read it in a book and cracked up so hard, I can’t not call those abdominal divots, cum gutters. Don’t make me say it again. Cum gutters. Hey, that was on you! Lol. Ok, moving along. Caveat — I am a chunky enby and I’ve lost a few inches since starting T so it’s possible that I’ve had an enhanced experience of this — but, I didn’t hold a lot of that weight on my hips, so shrug! Your Mileage May Vary!
• Clitoris growth/bottom growth — Oh, ahhh, did someone call me? What? Ok, no, I’m still here. Firstly, I hate the C word. No, I like THAT C word (I am Aussie after all, lol), but I don’t like the C word in bold. Ew. I’ve only left it here because it’s on the ‘list’. Anyway, bottom growth. So yeah, it’s real. And it’s slow. But it’s kinda awesome. I haven’t had any of the issues I’ve heard from others but I’m not knocking anything over with my raging T-boner either, lol. Ok, moving on… Haha.
• Increased skin oiliness or acne — Quite the opposite, my skin has been dry AF. At least, on my face. I had to get intensive bio oil for my cheeks and I’m using it every damn day. Everywhere else is pretty much same-same. Oh, a little ‘acne’ I guess here and there with hair growth but hardly more than what I’ve always experienced.
• Baldness or hair thinning — Nope! WOOT! Touches ALL THE WOOD (but not my T-boner, haha).
• Increased libido — Nope! And totally ok with that. Think I’m on the cusp of the asexual spectrum so it makes a lot of sense. Another exploration that needs to happen, lol.
• Coarser skin — Ah, my Spiderman hands! I feel, grippier. Lol. Also, it takes a lot more for splinters to pierce my skin now. Vital information!
• Increased sweating — I’ve never been a huge sweater and a few years ago, for medical reasons, I removed anything that contained estrogen or estrogen mimics from my existence. That meant most things in my bathroom including shampoo and deodorant. Coconut oil and apple cider vinegar were my saviors! But, after a few months, I was sweating even less and made no odor. So, it’s been pretty damn noticeable that that shit is back! Lol.
• Increased appetite — Nope. Not at all. Quite the opposite.
• Weight gain/fluid retention — I had some water retention there at the start and it was bad. I usually get it twice a year but it was worse than normal. BUT, I haven't had any since and no weight gain.
• Chest tissue atrophy — A little, I think. I only say that because I can feel muscle underneath that I couldn’t before. So, shrug!
• Weakening of tendons — None of this — not that I’ve noticed anyway.
• Thickening of facial bone structure — I don’t think so??? I feel like this one may be more aimed at younger peeps. Pretty sure my bone structure was done doing its things before I started T, lol.

Other changes

Outside of the possible physical changes listed above, I’ve also experienced the following:

• The best part of this journey has been the mental changes. I’m so much more in control of myself and my emotions. That doesn’t mean I don’t cry, I do. OMG, I cracked a leak the other day while watching the trailer of SPOILER ALERT. No, really, it’s actually called that. I had to re-learn how to process emotions which was a whole experience, but now, I’m in a place I’m very happy to be. I feel like I can feel whatever I want without it dragging me into the depths of… wherever the hell it was I used to go.
• Pain hits differently now. I can slice my finger open and barely feel it, but if I stub my toe, you will hear every swear word in every language I’ve ever learned and a bunch of noises that are probably swear words from a different dimension that I’m channeling.

What a year! Well, on to year 2!

Are you my peeps?

If you are on T, are considering going on T, waiting to start T, been on T for years, trans-masc with no intention of going on T, trans at all in any of our many forms, non-binary, a trans ally, or someone with an interest in trans education, please, stick around. I’m sharing this journey because there is not enough representation. When I started questioning gender, it was a struggle to find the information I needed and I want to help, someone.

Are you new here?

If you’ve only just found me, welcome to my journey as a trans-masc non-binary person. I’ve been writing about my journey since I started questioning my gender. It all started here:

On October 2nd, 2021, I began hormone replacement! I’ve been keeping a journal. You can read everything here:

You can read more about me and access a quick link catalog to all of my articles right here:

Reference:

FOLX Health, 2020, Expected Physical Changes with Testosterone HRT, Nov 12, viewed Nov 2 2021, https://www.folxhealth.com/library/testosterone-hrt-physical-changes