You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just Committed to the Past

When you’re feeling stuck, dust yourself off and remember this.

Feeling trapped is a scary feeling.

I’ve been working from home during this pandemic. Some days, I feel like being the most energetic person in the world because I can do everything at home and enjoy my introverted nature. But other days, I just want to curl up in a ball and drown out all my worries and tensions.

In my country, the latest variant of Covid-19 has spread rapidly in the last couple of weeks. Some of my friends got infected and even a few passed away.

I’m fortunate that my family and I are still safe to this date. But I have to deal with my creeping anxiety daily, and my underlying thoughts have appeared too often without my permission.

Most of the time, I don’t know how to cope. Life is not easy. And the truths we see in the media are often frightening — threaten to scare us into silence and disrupt the flow of crucial information. It seems like we’re going to hell.

But if I wanted to change, I knew I had to bite the bullet. I had to be willing to feel uncomfortable.

I had to get up and face it.

Feeling stuck is a label we give to a natural part of life

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meanings in the suffering.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Feeling stuck is the feeling of not being able to see any other way, move — literally or metaphorically — or change. Usually, it stems from repeating the same patterns of behavior (like staying at home for months or doing social media binges for hours on end).

But “feeling stuck” is only a label we give to a natural part of life.

Have you ever heard of the myth of Sisyphus?

In Greek Mythology, Sisyphus was condemned by the gods for angering them. They punished him to push a rock up a mountain. And upon reaching the top, the rock would roll down again, leaving Sisyphus to start over and over again.

The French philosopher, Albert Camus, argued in his essay that every human being (including you and me) is just like Sisyphus — and the punishment of pushing a rock up a mountain is the embodiment of life.

This is all about perspective. Life can feel absurd sometimes, and it is. But even though our human life is absurd by nature — it shouldn’t remain so.

We can find meanings in whatever we do, we can find hope in the ugliness of life — even though it seems like there is no way out.

As Albert Camus said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

I understand. You’re tired, don’t have a lot of friends and you think you’re depressed and aimless in life. You look for the answer of “What should I do?” everywhere on the internet. Trust me, I’ve been there (that's why I wrote this so you know that you’re not alone).

But the thing is: you’re asking from the wrong person. Yes, you might find some hope in random people’s words on incidental quotes you find on Instagram, or you might feel better after hearing words of encouragement from a trusted friend — but they won’t help you for long.

The only one who can help you is you.

Feeling stuck is not the problem

Maybe you feel stuck in a job you don’t love, in a relationship you don’t enjoy, or you can also feel stuck in worrying, afraid to make a decision or change something in your life.

You know that you have to move. But you can’t, then you feel anxious and scared. But what if feeling stuck is not the problem?

What actually happens when you’re stuck in a loophole and unable to get out, as Emily Maroutian, the author of “In Case Nobody Told You” said, is:

You’re committed to certain patterns of behavior because they helped you in the past.

When you feel stuck, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to leave your current job or break up with your partner. The reason you have an unclear vision of the future is that you’re still keeping the same mindsets and behaviors that are actually slowing you down.

You believe those things have helped you in the past. But the past is the past. Now, those behaviors have become more harmful than helpful. They are only making you unhappier, confused, and defeated.

So why are you still holding onto them?

Let them go.

Try something new, consider a novel approach, let go of an old set of rules that don’t work anymore. Start small by adopting new habits that might leave you feeling content and fulfilled. Explore your purpose and do ONE thing that could help you get there today.

Here are some science-backed things that may help you get out of your rut:

• Forgive people
• Learn how to say no
• Take a walk in nature
• Try journaling (and keep doing it)
• Spend quality time with loved ones
• Get plenty of sleep (if you’re an adult, 7–8 hours per day is necessary)
• Prioritize things wisely
• Ask for help, but don’t become dependant
• Reevaluate your goals
• Read delightful books (you don’t aim to just leave them on your bookshelf for 8 months until they got rusty and dusty, do you?)
• Pray or meditate
• Be grateful

The first step to getting out of your “caged perspective” is to re-pattern your thoughts and think of the things that are honest, valuable, and meaningful for your “future self” — no matter how scary they are. Then, work your way toward them.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.” — Mandy Hale

You need to accept life has its ugly before you can appreciate its beauty. You have to unlearn before you can relearn new things. By doing it, you’re opening new doors to wider and greater opportunities in your life.

And from there, you’ll find yourself not “feeling stuck” anymore — now you’re actually moving forward.

Find the new formula

It’s okay to feel stuck sometimes. Feeling stuck is a label we give to a natural part of life. And it is actually a good sign that you’re close to significant growth in your life — you just have to stop and reevaluate.

You can’t expect different results if you continue to apply the old formula to a new level of your life. Change the formula to experience an upgrade.

You don’t know what the formula is? Find it. You won’t know if you don’t try. Just do something, anything. Trust me, the very act of dusting yourself off will put you in a positive state of mind.

Let go of the past, embrace the present moment, and pursue what you really want to do. As Paulo Coelho put it:

“The universe stands aside for those people who know where they are going.” — Paulo Coelho