SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Your Triple Layer Fudge Cake of Positivity May be Poisonous

Day 23, 50 questions for deep self-reflection

This is day 23 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.

DAY TWENTY-THREE: How can you use your energy to imagine all the things that can go right instead of everything that might go wrong??

This is the Triple Layer Fudge Cake of Questions!

This is a fun question, but it also has some intense layers.

“How can you use your energy to imagine the things that can go right, instead of everything that might go wrong,” in the first instance, is a really great question around universal attraction. We attract what we put out, so if we’re thinking positive thoughts, then we’ll attract positivity whereas if we’re thinking negative thoughts, then we will attract negativity. Simple, right?

Toxic Positivity

The thing is that thinking positively is sometimes called toxic positivity. And I understand why! In my experience, I’ve found that sometimes, thinking positively is taken to the extreme. Now, let’s be real, my experience is pretty limited as far as a global level of existence, but in my limited experience, usually what I’ve found is that people who are overly positive, as in everything is rainbows and lollipops and there is no acknowledgment of negativity, everything is just wonderful, are typically hiding inherent negativity that they haven’t been able to shift. And so bad things keep happening. Instead of allowing themselves to experience that negativity or to explore why they’ve attracted that, they try to push back with more positivity because of shame or guilt that they ‘can’t make attraction work for them.’ That can be dangerous.

I have experienced this, I used to do it. I trained as a life coach and toxic positivity is a little rampant in that kind of environment. #NotAllLifeCoaches. So really, the keyword in this question is ENERGY.

How can you use your energy to project and attract things going right, instead of everything going wrong?

What the hell IS right or wrong?

Now, here’s the next level. What do right and wrong mean — what is the perception here? The problem with right and wrong thinking, and visualizing and projecting right and wrong, is that we become attached to the outcome and the way in which that outcome will come to us instead of letting go and allowing the universe to deliver to us what we need.

Is the worst thing really negative?

The final level I want to touch on here is something that I find is so powerful. That is to ask myself:

What’s the worst thing that could happen?

This one question has been a game-changer for me. Now, here’s the thing: Though it sounds like I am, I’m not focusing on the negativity. Instead of all the possible things that could go wrong, I’m asking myself what is the one absolute worst-case scenario? I follow that up with the most important question of all:

Can I handle it?

If the answer is yes (and invariable is always is), then anything less than the worst-case scenario is fine. I can handle it. That instantly eliminates any thoughts about everything going wrong because I already know that if it does, and remembering that wrong is in the eye of the beholder, I can handle it.

These two questions I learned from astronaut Chris Hadfield in his book, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth: What Going to Space Taught Me About Ingenuity, Determination, and Being Prepared for Anything. As an astronaut, Hadfield shares that most of his training was around preparing for everything that could possibly go wrong. I may not be an astronaut, but this philosophy has taken the weight off my shoulders. The book is amazing and I highly recommend it.

It’s all about energy

So ultimately, I guess the answer to this question for me is about asking myself what energy am I putting out? And how do I want that to be reflected back to me?

How can I use my energy to imagine all the things that can go right instead of everything that might go wrong?

I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to ‘use’/waste my energy on imagining potential pathways that are just going to get in the way of the path I need to take. Besides, I learn more when things go ‘wrong’ than I do when they go ‘right’. What can I even learn when things go exactly as planned?

If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:

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