You Can't Demand What You Don't Embody.
Many of us think we can ask the world of another person, our finances, and ourselves without doing the same.
I've learned that to get what you want, to demand it, you must also embody it fully.
My weight loss and mental health journey have taught me a few critical lessons in this regard.
It wasn't until I decided to be okay with transforming myself and my habits that I started making headway and significantly improving my health and well-being.
This bled into other areas of my life.
And little by little, I've begun to build a life and lifestyle I'm genuinely content with.
I want to help you achieve the same.
With that said, here are some truths and requirements to get on the way of getting what you want.
You cannot ask for what you're not willing to give.
You cannot demand that life give you more when you're unwilling to do more.
This is how I was at the start of my weight loss journey/attempts.
Every single time, I thought I could get away with going on a temporary diet and somehow keeping the results without changing my lifestyle.
I remember I would go on juice diets, extreme calorie deficit diets, low-carb, etc. I would lose some weight, but soon after, I would go back to eating how I wanted and consequently gain the weight back and then some more.
I would get extremely frustrated and disappointed that I wasn't maintaining the weight loss and then would attempt another diet, thinking the next one would be the one that would work.
As you can see, I was gaslighting myself, telling myself that all I needed to do was something temporary to get the long-term results I was looking for.
The truth is, I didn't want to face the root problem — thinking that I wasn't anyone worthwhile if I wasn't skinny.
Once I started developing digestive issues, my perspective completely changed — my priority was no longer about looking a certain way to finally feel worthy.
It was about being healthy, feeling normal, not bloated or in pain, and constantly tired.
Once I was willing to change my perspective, I was ready to make the necessary changes to get the long-term results I wanted.
You cannot expect to have what you want if you don't first become the kind of person who can keep it.
The only way to begin moving forward is to transform yourself.
To open your mind to the idea of change.
Otherwise, you'll remain stuck and stagnant, wondering why you're not moving forward.
I remember in the days I refused to acknowledge my bad habits, I would either blame the method/system I was using to try to lose weight or I would shame myself for not being able to follow through.
As I said earlier, I refused to deal with the root problem.
I finally opened my mind to the idea of change when my circumstances at the time became too painful to deal with.
I realized that the extrinsic goal was never enough motivation to change my habits.
The idea of looking skinnier excited me for a brief moment, but it never motivated or inspired me enough to make any serious changes.
I opened my mind by looking at myself from a lens of love and care.
This is a fundamental change that many of us need to undergo.
Real, permanent changes come from a place of love, not hate.
It wasn't until I decided I deserved better that I believed I could adopt good habits.
The reality was I had a self-esteem issue.
I didn't love myself enough to think I deserved to be healthy.
I was desperate to become skinny because I thought that would get people to care about me, but I didn't love myself enough to respect my body's physical and mental limits.
I kept telling myself this lie, self-sabotaging, and convincing myself that I wasn't worthy of genuine love and acceptance.
I kept myself in a sick cycle of hate and shame.
It wasn't until I showed myself love, care, and appreciation that I began changing my bad habits for good.
Going on the journey of healing my mind wasn't roses and rainbows, but it did free me from the shackles of shame and hate.
Going on the journey of learning to love and accept myself allowed me to understand that I'm a human being who will always make mistakes.
But my past mistakes don't define me; what I chose to do after falling defines who I am (it defines you, too).
I made the decision to be the kind of person who would embody the things she wanted.
Because if I don't work to become someone who can have the things she wants, there's a 100% chance I will not get them.