avatarCarrie Wynn

Summary

The article discusses the narcissist's process of discarding a partner once they no longer serve their needs.

Abstract

The article delves into the painful experience of being discarded by a narcissist, detailing how a narcissist may treat their partner as insignificant once they see through their manipulative tactics or no longer provide the desired "supply." It outlines the reasons for this discard, such as the partner's depleted emotional and financial resources, the narcissist's boredom, and the partner's ability to see through the narcissist's facade. The article also describes the narcissist's detached behavior, their pursuit of new sources of supply, and the devastating final words they may use to sever ties. It emphasizes the importance of not allowing the narcissist to return and the necessity of cutting ties for personal recovery.

Opinions

  • The narcissist's decision to discard a partner is a calculated move to find someone more compliant and less aware of their manipulative behavior.
  • The article suggests that narcissists intentionally drain their partners emotionally and financially, leaving them as mere shells of their former selves.
  • It is implied that narcissists become easily bored with their partners and seek distractions or new relationships to fulfill their needs.
  • The author believes that once a partner recognizes the narcissist's true nature, the narcissist feels exposed and quickly seeks a new source of supply.
  • The article conveys that narcissists may deliver a final, devaluing statement to ensure they leave their partner feeling worthless and broken.
  • It is suggested that the cycle of a narcissistic relationship can repeat if the discarded partner allows the narcissist back into their life.
  • The author emphasizes that ending contact with a narcissist, whether by choice or through being discarded, is ultimately beneficial for the partner's well-being.

You Are About To Be Discarded By The Narcissist

They will treat you as if you are nothing to them

Adobe Stock Photo

Perhaps things have gotten too difficult. Perhaps you have learned to see through their tricks and have become aware of their deception. Perhaps you have called out their behavior and drawn a line saying that you aren’t going to tolerate it anymore.

Whatever it is, the narcissist has realized that you are starting to see through their mask. You aren’t going to be enough for them anymore. They need someone with no boundaries. They need someone that is a better source of “supply” for their needs, that won’t challenge them or be an annoyance.

Why has it come down to this? There are a few reasons…

Adobe Stock Photo

They have drained you completely.

Your radiance has been sucked out. Perhaps financially they have taken you for everything you have. Because of the emotional and physical pain, they’ve inflicted on you, your physical appearance may not be the same as it was when they met you.

The light that drew them to you in the first place has been completely put out and they know you aren’t going to have much left to give. They wanted to destroy you and they managed to do just that. You are a shell of the person that you used to be and they no longer have any use for you.

Adobe Stock Photo

They seem bored.

When they’re with you it’s almost as if they don’t see you anymore. They’re constantly on their phones, watching TV, and they surround themselves with distractions.

They are no longer invested in parts of your life that they used to be and they don’t ask you questions about how you’re doing or how your day was. What used to be stonewalling and the silent treatment when you “misbehaved in their eyes” is now so much the norm that you can barely remember a time before things were this way.

Photo by Elijah O'Donnell on Unsplash

You see through their mask.

You’ve seen through the act or called out their behavior and the narcissist is now exposed. They need to find a new source of supply as soon as possible because you aren’t going to cut it anymore.

Thus begins their disappearing act. Hours or days will go by at a time with no communication. They may be out late at night partying without feeling any need to inform you of where they’ve been.

Their clothes smell like someone else and you suspect that they are dating other people or have returned to an ex. They may also say they’re taking time “to think” when in reality, they are seeing if their new source of supply offers enough to drop you completely.

Adobe Stock photo

The final blow

Often they will throw a final devaluing statement to have the last word and leave you in ruins, broken beyond repair.

I remember mine like it happened yesterday. I was bawling in my room and my ex stood in the doorway. He was completely cold, with no emotion on his face or his voice. The last thing he ever said to me in person was:

“I know you really tried your best but it wasn’t good enough and you don’t deserve me.”

Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

They may come back… you can’t let them.

Just because you have been discarded doesn’t mean that the narcissist won’t return.

They may realize that their new girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t meeting all their needs. They may need a favor from you. The whole cycle can start again if they discard you and decide to come back.

It doesn’t matter if you end things or if you have been discarded. You have to cut them out of your life. If they discard you and never come back it may be the most painful thing you ever experience but it is the kindest thing that they could ever do for you.

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Narcissism
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