Women Don’t Have Rape Fantasies — They Have Primaeval Mating Fantasies
People need to stop saying otherwise
I watched a video the other day, I’m not going to share the video for reasons you’ll soon understand, but in it, a guy and a girl are having a conversation about rape fantasies in women. They basically say that deep down “every woman kind of secretly wants to be raped”, to back this ridiculousness up they argued that this was why women had rape fantasies.
I have to say the fact that people are still saying these things drives me mad. Women do not ever under any circumstances fantasise about being raped. Yes, at first glance many women do have what appears to be rape fantasies — studies consistently show that two-thirds of women have “rape” fantasies. For example, a 2009 study entitled “The nature of women’s rape fantasies: an analysis of prevalence, frequency, and contents”, put the figure at 62 percent, with women averaging 4 a year, some even averaging one a week. Some men even have them.
So, no one can dispute there are a lot of these fantasies out there. But “rape” fantasies are not what they appear to be. They are not about being raped, they are about the absolute opposite of that.
Why psychologists think women have rape fantasies
There are three schools of thought around why women have rape fantasies, the first is sexual blame avoidance. This theory is the most widely used explanation, and it goes along the lines of, because women suffer guilt over sex a great way to get past this guilt is to fantasise about having been forced to have it.
So, under this school of thought women don’t fantasise about being raped, they fantasise about having sex where they don’t feel guilty afterwards. Why women feel guilt after sex to the point many may have rape fantasies, people can debate to the ends of the world. In my view, it’s a mixture of instincts and society not yet adapting to the fact we now have contraception.
Returning to the point, despite this being the most popular belief, I’m not sold on it. There have been countless studies that show that the women who have the least rape fantasies are the women who are the most sexually anxious, guilty, and repressed. A 2012 study entitled “Women’s rape fantasies: an empirical evaluation of the major explanations” showed this. If the above theory was accurate, this would not be the case.
This brings me to the second most common school of thought. Sexual desirability. The idea is women want to feel desirable — who doesn’t — and as such women are fantasising not about being raped, but about being unbelievably desirable. So, the theory goes because women want to feel desirable, imagining that they are so hot that no man — or woman — can stop themselves can be quite a turn-on. Mentally speaking.
But again, that would not mean that women were fantasising about being raped, it would mean they were imagining being highly desirable to the ultimate extent through thought manipulation. That’s very different. For example, I love the idea — at least on a fantasy level — of being so hot people can’t control themselves around me. But I would never want to be around people who couldn’t control themselves around me, I would only want to be around the ones who could because only then would being that highly desirable be a real-life turn-on.
Anyway, there potentially is some truth in this theory but there is a caveat, studies— including the just mentioned study — typically show that attractive women have more rape fantasies than less attractive women.
Logic would say that, if this theory was accurate, the women who were the “least” desirable would have the “most” of these fantasies, whereas the women who were the most desirable would have the least because why would they have them if they are the most desirable? After all, people who are rich don’t fantasise about winning the lottery anywhere near as much as people who are not rich. Yes, they still fantasise about it, but not as much.
This brings me to the third school of thought. Sexual openness. This is the theory that I most buy into, and this is because the women that studies have repeatedly shown have the most rape fantasies, are the women who are the least oppressed and most sexually open.
So, the women who don’t have to worry about being raped and being sexually oppressed, or about feeling guilty should they have sex and like it, have the most rape fantasies.
Why sexual openness is the most likely reason for rape fantasies in women — and men
Some people fantasise about harming others. Does that mean that they want to harm others? Rarely. Most often it’s just a way of letting out some anger and frustration, and the way that we do that mentally is most often in a primaeval way.
That’s because despite our conscious minds and educations being modern world, our instincts are primaeval. This brings me to rape fantasies, and this is just my belief as nobody knows for certain, but in my view women — and the men who have them — have them because sex is primaeval, and the whole way we take advantage of gaining pleasure from sex is by manipulating primaeval instincts.
From the female orgasm to BDSM, to role swapping, to anal sex (including pegging), to oral sex, to everything, we manipulate primaeval instincts and anatomical tools to gain pleasure.
This matters when it comes to rape fantasies. If you go back to our caveman days, the most attractive woman would have had men literally fighting over her, she also would have made certain that the winner would have to overpower her to further prove himself i.e. the only way he could prove himself to her, was by first proving he was the alpha by defeating the other males, and then proving he had the strength to overcome her.
This was not rape in primaeval days, this was consensual mating. A female of the time needed to know that the male mating with her could actually overcome her, it was the only way she could test that he was strong enough and thus worthy enough to have a child with her.
When women — and men — fantasise about what appears to be rape — and this is just in my opinion — they aren’t actually fantasising about rape, they are having a primaeval but entirely consensual mating fantasy.
The reason sexually open women are most likely to have them is because they aren’t afraid to have them because they know they are not fantasising about being raped, they are fantasising about having consensual sex with a male worthy of their time, just in a primaeval way.
Final words
The idea that rape fantasies mean people want to be raped comes from decades-old and heavily debunked beliefs by early-day psychologists that dreams and fantasies were subconscious wishes. They are not and this has been shown and proven over and over.
No person, male or female, ever fantasises about being legitimately raped. Why would they? They wouldn’t. Anybody who tries to tell you that a woman even slightly wants to be legitimately raped is lying and you need to tell them to shut the hell up.
If they try to use the fact that women have “rape” fantasies to try to back up the rubbish they are spewing, remind them that women don’t have rape fantasies, they have primaeval mating fantasies — same as men. Primaeval mating fantasies are about consensual sex, something rape will never be.
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