Woman’s Life: How To Find Prosperity In Solitude
From Fear to Freedom

I woke up yesterday and took up as much space in my bed as I wanted while giving my body a good morning stretch. I watched the sun rise shadows peeking through my wall to wall glass window.
I scrolled on Instagram and Tik-Tok for awhile.
When I finally sat upright, I put my hair in a bun, I realized I had the entire day ahead of me completely free of plans, obligations, or to-do list items more pressing than doing some dishes and laundry.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken a moment to appreciate the freedom and optimism of something like that.
But I have plenty of memories in fear of it.
Recently I have been lonelier and isolated than I have been in the last 10 years.
This year, however, I’ve just been alone. A lot.
There are lots of reasons for this, but most of it can be boiled down to one thing: massive changes in my relationships, changing levels of commitment, moving to my own apartment, and remote work.
It was unsettling at first and I fought it so hard in the beginning.
I have such clear pictures of Friday afternoons in shame and disappointment, realizing I had no plans for the weekend ahead.
How embarrassing!
One of my friends visited me a couple of weeks back for a day and first question she asked “Don’t you feel boring?”
She didn’t ask “do you feel boring?”
Her question itself has the assumption that you are supposed to feel boring.
And I replied with a genuine no, she smirked and gave me a look.
I did all the hard things by myself.
I stood up for myself.
I asked for what I needed.
I had a tough conversation with me and asked what I need.
Now, I stopped chasing my lukewarm friends and let them fade away.
I stopped putting so much energy into the friendship that just weren’t coming together.
But in its absence, I was facing each morning focusing on myself. I was doing things that made me happy. I was greeting the day and letting the day greet me.
One day, I pulled out my big to-do list — the one I started years ago but never actually care to complete.
Dammit, I was not going to procrastinate for one more day.
I didn’t even have the excuse that I didn’t have time, anymore. I suddenly had all the time in the world.
I started with my first love, creating art and overall last year I managed to create 12 pieces and I had so much fun doing it.
These are the hobbies I once cherished, but had set aside over the years.
Now, immersing myself in them gave me a sense of satisfaction I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
And strangely, a sense of camaraderie.
I never felt alone when I was engaging in hobbies. I felt supported, loved, and fulfilled.
I was prospering right there as I watched my loneliness turned into self-companionship.
I won’t say that the past year taught me how to master any hardship, that I’ll never feel lonely again, or that I’ve never been happier.
But I have learned what it feels like to prosper within a relationship…a relationship with myself.
I can say with certainty that it is the most successful, rich, fulfilling relationship I currently have.
And frankly, I hope that always remains.
Time spent in complete customization and gentle self care, it’s a gift — one we’ve been taught to fear as if it’s really just a consolation prize.
I looked around yesterday and didn’t feel like my life was a settled-for version.
My home is genuinely not missing anything when it is full of me.
I felt nothing but gratitude and peace.
It might seem small to someone who has never felt the shame and fear that singlehood is so often sold with, it’s actually pretty monumental to spend a day at home.
And this is the only relationship I know I can always count on, after all.
It’s the only friend I have who will never leave me.
The only person who will always be there when I wake up in the morning.
Maybe all this loneliness has been a gift.
Maybe it was the only way I’d find this treasure within.
It wasn’t easy…but I think it was all worth it.
Now, if people want to hang out with me or date me…they’ll have to convince me they’re more fun than my own company.
And that’s a tall order.
Reference: Yael Wolfe and Shani Silver
Be Bold
Be Courageous
Be Your Best
