Why you have to let go of the past
It’s holding you back and it’s preventing deep connection. But that’s not the only way your past holds you back.
by: E.B. Johnson
Building a future which is worthwhile is something that doesn’t come easy. We have to spend a lot of time and energy figuring out what we want, but we also have to spend a lot of time and energy letting go of our pasts. The things that happened yesterday go a long way in defining how we see ourselves. We can’t allow those events to define our futures, though. Not if we want to find true happiness and abundance in the future.
It’s time to start letting go of our pasts and the hurts that dwell there. Until we detach ourselves from those mistakes, we’ll be unable to move forward with clear vision and pure intentions. Take away the lessons you need to take and leave the rest where it belongs — in the shadows of yesterday with the people who own those mistakes. We deserve to have a future that’s free and unfettered by the past, but we alone have the power to take action and build that future.
Your past will ruin your future (if you let it).
By holding on to the past and all the toxic experiences there, we actually hold ourselves back and prevent ourselves from growing in authenticity and happiness. Your past will ruin your future if you allow it to. It will prevent you from tapping into opportunities, and it will prevent your from loving yourself and others deeply and genuinely. In order to create a future that brings us peace and fulfillment, we have to let go of what was and embrace everything that’s waiting for us ahead.
Acknowledge what went wrong and get committed to building a future that makes all those mistakes right. You don’t have to be defined by the person you were yesterday. You have the power to give yourself a fresh start and you have the power to start over again living in a truth which is aligned to your values and needs.
It’s time for you to decide whether you’re going to be happy, or you’re going to remain stuck. Your past will take everything from you if you allow yourself to stay forever within it. If you want to be truly happy you have to find a way to heal and forgive everyone — including yourself. The future changes every day and we get a chance to change with it. We can either allow what was to control what is, or we can step up to the plate and give ourselves a chance to be happy.
Why it’s important to let go of the past.
In order to move forward without pain, we have to learn to let go of the past. This process can be a challenging one, but it comes with all types of transformative benefits. When we remove ourselves from the clutches of a toxic past, we remove limiting beliefs and give ourselves permission to take up space and pursue opportunity.
Releasing limiting beliefs
The past holds our memories, but not all of those memories are conducive to living a happy life. When painful patterns and old wounds cause us to make mistakes in the decisions we make, or the relationships we build, we have to start letting go. The past saddles us with limiting beliefs that keep us in old mindsets which don’t serve our bigger goal. By letting go of the past, we release these limiting beliefs and free ourselves up to thrive.
Investing in real change
If you live forever in the shadow of your past, you make it impossible to change. Instead, you end up playing out the same traumas and all the same toxic habits. When we let go of the past, we invest in ourselves and we invest in some real and lasting change. After all, it’s hard to be the person you were meant to be when you’re stuck on a loop in a past that makes you miserable.
Reshaping our identities
Who are you right now in this moment? Who do you want to be? Living in the past causes us to see ourselves in some very specific (and often very critical) ways. By empowering ourselves to let go and move on, we can reshape our identities and become the person that were were always supposed to be. You can find the courage to become that person who stands up and does what’s right, but it’s going to take some reflection.
Taking up more space
How much space do you allow yourself to take up in the world? When you need something, do you speak up for yourself? When someone crosses the line do you assert yourself and stick up for your limits? We have to be comfortable taking up space for ourselves in this world and claiming what is rightfully ours. This can include job opportunities, romantic shifts, and even the personal changes we’re undergoing.
Conserving our energy
Like it or not, holding on to your past is a major waste of time and energy. There is nothing in your past that you can change. By dwelling in this long-gone place, you’re taking up the time and space you could be using to make your life better. Stop wasting your time worrying over the past and any mistakes you may have made; it is what it is. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Conserve your energy and focus it where you can change things — right here in the present moment.
How to start letting go of the past once and for all.
The past will hold on to you forever if you let it. If a happier life and a fulfilling future is what you’re after, though, you have to let go of the past and all the negativity and pain which dwells there. Believe in your right to thrive and invest in your healing and your moving on. The life we want is just around the corner, but we have to first cut ties with the past and make sure we’re prepare to act.
1. Form a self-belief system
We spend a lot of time in this life trying to figure out our belief systems, but we rarely take any time to form a belief in self. When you lack self-confidence, it makes all the difference in your journey to joy. It’s hard to create something which provides you with abundance when you don’t even have enough self-esteem to let yourself shine and create. In order to get from a place of scarcity to a place of plenty, you need to believe in your right to it.
Rebuild your confidence from the ground up. It’s time for you to believe in your right to thrive and your right to lead a high-quality life. You deserve a seat at whatever table matters to you, and a life which gives you that ability. When you’re complete, you can change the world — but not until you change yourself.
Know your worth. Know the value of your ideas. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t sell out on an idea that could take you all the way. Creativity is one of the few things which makes us exceptional as a species. Don’t allow the brutality of the world to hold you back from knowing that you are enough exactly as you are. Believe in yourself. You’re smart enough, skilled enough, and deserving enough to have it all.
2. Make action your main focus
There can be no change in this life — no healing — without taking action and expending effort. Good things come to us when we learn how to take smart, focused action. Life is not a spectator sport. By standing on the sidelines, we allow others to make decisions for us and we allow our happiness to defined by the world at large. If we want to move beyond our pasts, we have to stop looking backward and make action our main focus.
You need to form an action plan and start building the life you truly want to lead. Changing the way you see yourself (and your past) needs you to form a new vision of who you want to be. Look to the future and eliminate the things that bring you chaos or upset. Focus instead on the opportunities, people, and things that bring you a sense of peace and a sense of fulfillment.
From this point you can begin to figure out what path you need to take. When we figure out what matters most, we can then piece out the steps it takes to achieve those things. Start with the big picture and break every element down into smaller, more manageable steps. From there you can build your way up to happiness and relationships that are more meaningful. The more you allow yourself to move toward the future through this action, the further away your past will be.
3. Identify the pain points
Our past holds such sway over us due to the pain points which keep us anchored there. These are the hurts (big and small) that occur to us and damage our emotional, physical, or mental wellbeing. Maybe you had some really brutal breakups, or you grew up in the midst of a dysfunctional home. Whatever happened, you have to identify it in order to move on and heal. This healing is a requirement for authentic happiness.
If you feel safe enough and stable enough for the task, take a step back and consider the injuries that keep bringing you back to the past. Journaling is a great way to dip our toes into this process, but it’s important not to push too hard or too far.
Many of us are dealing with a great deal of trauma, and some of this is best overcome with the help of a mental health professional or someone we trust. Listen to your body and your heart. Healing is a process which doesn’t have any one-size-fits-all set of guidelines. Look for those breaks in your history that need healing and then you will be better equipped to cut ties with your past.
4. Invest in bettering yourself
How much money do you think you spend each year on bettering yourself? Now how much time to do you think you really put into transforming your life? We have to invest in ourselves if want to thrive, and we have to make a bet on ourselves and our ability to have it all. It’s time for you to become the person you want to be, but only you have the power to make that happen.
Figure out what you need to make life better for yourself and get it. Are you struggling with poor mental health, or a laundry list of past trauma which makes it impossible to connect? Get mental health help. Reach out and find a professional who can walk you through the process of getting back on top.
Maybe your mental state is improving but you want another job. Instead of wallowing or wishing, figure out what skills you need to develop to get yourself into that field. Get online and get yourself a technical diploma. Take an online course to figure out what interests you. Join an interest group at your local community center. There is always a way to get where you want to go, but you’re going to have to invest in bettering yourself to get there.
5. Build better support systems
Our support systems are such a powerful and important tool when it comes to moving on from the past and finding ourselves in the midst of it all. We humans are social creatures, and we do best when we have a trustworthy ring of friends, family, and loves ones cheering us on and wishing for the best in every arena of our lives. These support systems become even more important when we’re cutting ties and moving on. They give us the courage to be kind and you disrespected the whole thing.
Build better support systems and surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. We lift ourselves up by making sure our lives are filled with those who can be there for us when we’re down. Your loved ones are there for a reason. Rely on them and open up to share what you’re going through and what you’re feeling.
If you don’t have these support systems already in place, then you need to get focused on building them. No one person is an island. As humans, we are social creatures and we live in a society that is intertwined and dictated by our ability to work together. Put your pride aside. We all struggle with our lives and our emotions from time to time. Find people you can open up to and then open up to them. Look for those who want nothing from you but to see you do well in life and love.
Putting it all together…
In order to build futures that provide us with fulfillment and joy, we have to let go of our painful pasts. This is a process which takes time, though, and which takes a lot of introspection and healing. Who we were doesn’t define who we become. We alone have the power to define our futures. It’s time for us to get there, and we’ll do it by releasing ourselves from the pain of the past.
You need to start by forming a self-belief system and establishing the confidence and the courage to move forward away from your past. Give yourself permission to move on, then make action your main focus. When you identify the pain points which cloud your past, you can start to access the healing you need to move on and move forward. Invest in bettering yourself and invest in making your life the type of life you can be happy in and proud of. Lean into your support systems and surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Little-by-little, you’ll be able to move beyond your past and advance fully into the person you were meant to be.
