Stay Away From Obsessive Women
Why Women Can’t Let Go Of Their Past Relationships?
How Women Are Encouraged To Abuse Their Ex-Partners
Most people heal after the relationship breakup but there are people who just can’t let go of the past. Unfortunately, I know too many women who are still emotionally attached to their ex-partners even after several years have passed. Many of them still “imagine” that perhaps one day they will get back together.
Just recently one of my friends told me that her ex has found a new partner and that she is certain that the relationship isn’t serious. My friend is on a mission to get him back.
I considered my friend a rational person but her recent actions show how many women fall into the trap of believing that it is okay to dwell on the past relationship.
My good friend’s ex-partner is obsessed with him even after 10 years since their separation. She still causes issues in his new life and uses their children as weapons against him. She is unable to let go of him — he was her supply who managed to free himself.
His ex just can’t end the “connection” because she strongly believes that he has wronged her by standing up for himself and leaving the toxic relationship. Because of that, she seeks to punish and destroy him.
Women that can’t let go of their ex are not driven by “love” or “good memories”. They just can’t stand that they aren’t able to control the man that they wished to be with. Obsessive tendencies arise only because of the lack of control.
My friend's ex did all in her power to keep him nearby — to help and support her. In an ideal world, no one should not deal with their exes. Past should stay in the past.
But unfortunately, we don’t live in the ideal world and there are many women who can’t let their ex-partners be and continue to harass them and their new families. I’ve noticed that these women have few things in common. Here they are.
“My Daddy left me…or so I was told…”
The women who dwell in past have attachment issues. They fear being abandoned and therefore they cling to the relationships. They might even believe that they are in love but actually, they are looking at the relationship the wrong way — it symbolizes security to them.
My friend’s ex longed for security, easy life, a saviour — when she used him to the fullest he finally saw through and left. Now 12 years later she is still unable to create “stability” for herself and that’s why she keeps re-emerging from the bottom of the pit.
It is often the case that people who can’t let go of the past come from broken homes. Many of them have “daddy issues” or are reliving the past of their mothers. They were not taught better.
My friend’s ex comes from a broken home, her father left and remarried. Her mother was bitter because of it, even though they were never married. She did all in her power to cause a rift between him and her daughter.
Now years later, the daughter grew up into a woman who made a child with my friend hoping to entrap him and he too left, the same way as her father hoping to take their daughter with him as he was more involved. His ex got furious and made false allegations against him instead.
Years passed and she still wishes to know every single detail about my friend. Even her own partner accuses her of having unresolved feelings towards him. Simply she just can’t let go of him.
And so the history keeps repeating.
“I don’t want to end up marrying the cat…”
My friend fears being alone. On countless occasions, I spent evenings comforting her. I am certain that she will find her other half when the right time comes.
She isn’t ready yet. She lives in her memories. She has tolerated abuse, neglect and inappropriate behaviour just to stay in any relationship.
She was giving herself too much away not because she loved these men so much but because she feared spending the rest of her life with her cats.
To some, it’s easier to live in the past and reliving the moment when you weren’t “alone ”than waking up to the “lonely” present.
“If you love me then perhaps I might love myself too…”
My friend’s ex-boyfriend told her countless times that he doesn’t love her and that he considers the relationship casual. But somehow my friend could not take a “no” for an answer.
She lived for the moment when he would finally tell her that he loves her too — that moment never came. But unfortunately, that didn’t stop her obsession. She used to rely on him for her own self-worth.
She believes that being single equals being unlovable. It’s unhealthy and wrong to expect that your partner should be the definer of your own value.
“If we stayed together I would have a life…”
Often women cannot let go of their ex because they never move on with their lives. I know of too many miserable women who re-entered their exes lives just because they were truly bored — they have no career, hobbies, passions and when they find out that their ex has moved and is happy, they come looking for them.
“You can’t possibly love her?”
My good friend’s ex is dangerously obsessed with him. She has used the children to guild him into not letting go. She never accepted that he has moved on and that he is now very happy.
Yes, they share kids together. But that’s it. She is unwilling to co-parent with him and is trying to control his life.
Unfortunately, there are women who use children as some kind of leverage to control their ex-spouse. If you too feel that you are somehow controlled by your ex find a way to totally disengage from this, ignore texts, don’t answer calls. Do not take the bait and be dragged into the arguments, don’t give them the satisfaction of a reaction.
This is exactly what the controlling ex wants — evidence that they still can get to you. Nothing diffuses the situation better and helps you than separating yourself from the toxic ex.
There are countless articles, movies and books that encourage women to get their ex back. It’s appalling because not every couple “gets back together” and nor they should. These nonsense bits of advice only encourage abuse.
They teach young women how to invest all their power into getting back into a relationship with men that don’t want to be with them. They encourage girls and women to:
- Spy and monitor their ex-partner (and their new partner);
- Keep in touch when the ex-partner clearly doesn’t want to talk to them;
- Have “hope” (live in denial);
- Get upset and jealous when the ex-partner moves on/away;
- Practise abuse.
Women that become obsessive with their ex-partner tend to be very immature and self-centred and crave attention and affection because unfortunately, they lack the most important thing — self-love.
Getting back with the ex is never a good idea. Nor is living in the past.
Women who still obsess about their ex and search for ways how to get them back — please stop. Grow up and move on just like your ex did.
You are doing yourself and the world a favour.
Want to read more and write yourself? SUBSCRIBE BELOW!