Why We Need To Change The Way We Think About Casual Sex
We lie to ourselves when we make sex casual.
People are ditching the traditional dating practice and adopting a more casual dating preference.
When it comes to relationship satisfaction, it ultimately comes down to what you hope to get out of casual dating.
Casual dating means you're not looking for a long-term, committed relationship, but make the most of the relationship during the time you're together.
Think of casual dating as light dating. Unlike serious romantic dating, casual dating is for people who want to date, have fun, keep things easy, and are mostly non-exclusive.
Some people date to seek their forever partners. Some opt for casual dating, while some do not believe in any of the dating patterns.
According to one study, those who expected their casual date to get a little more serious were just as satisfied with their relationships as married and cohabiting couples.
Meanwhile, those who did not look forward to a future with the person they were dating reported lower relationship satisfaction than those from cohabiting, engaged, or married couples.
This suggests that your attitude and expectations around casual dating play a huge role in what you get out of it.
In other words, sex is never casual. There is always something to look forward to, whether it be a permanent commitment or a few minutes of uninterrupted calmness caused by an adrenaline rush.
Why sex means more than a physical act
Men tend to assume that sex itself is a necessity, no matter who it comes from. While women tend to assume that sex can only be a form of intimacy/love. Both perceptions are wrong, and they can ruin any relationship they enter.
We all have basic psychological needs. Sometimes, we suffer severely when we don't meet these psychological needs. Just as we need food, shelter, and sleep to survive, we also need to meet our psychological needs to stay mentally healthy and stable.
Our psychological needs can be easily boiled down to four basic needs: security, self-esteem, autonomy, and connection.
To be happy and stable people, we must constantly satisfy these four needs.
If we are unable to satisfy our need for esteem, we become chronically depressed and sometimes commit suicide. If we don't satisfy our need for autonomy, we will fall into a state of codependence or emotional dependence.
Sex is never just sex
Today's dating culture often emphasizes that two people must test their sexual chemistry before committing to each other.
This type of compatibility is often cited as an essential characteristic that people look for in romantic relationships, especially those that may lead to marriage.
Couples who do not test their sexual chemistry before committing to exclusivity, cohabitating, and marriage are often at risk of entering into a relationship that will not satisfy them in the future, increasing their chances of later marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
Simply put, you have a better chance of a compatible partner in dating when you have become sexually involved with your dating partner.
The human brain and body do not just experience pleasure during sex; they also experience strong sensations of attachment and bonding.
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