Why We Like Being Spanked During Sex — And The Unsettling Reason Why We Might Not

YES or NO?

Is the subject of being spanked during sex a weird topic to ask my girlfriends about?

Well, I did ask them.

I asked a handful of my closest girlfriends how they feel about being spanked during sex — if being spanked is a YES— a NO— and their general thoughts on the matter at hand (pun intended).

Why did I ask about spanking? Well, besides my usual curiosity about what people do behind closed doors, I realized that the majority of male partners I have been intimate with throughout my life were and are into spanking — mainly them doing the spanking — although apparently, some men like to be spanked themselves too.

So what is it with spanking? Why is it a thing?

Physically, the derriere area is full of sensitive nerves and since it’s so close to the genital area, of course, it’s pretty easy to stimulate that realm by touching it or hitting it (which is basically what spanking is).

When a person gets spanked, although it may hurt, it activates the nerve endings which also trigger sexual stimulation.

Unfortunately, spanking has some bizarre associations for certain people because they were regularly punished by being spanked as children. I know many kids who were spanked consistently as children— and not just a swat on the backside. I witnessed stingingly hard slaps being administered to my friends at an elementary age growing up and sometimes with a belt.

Some people don’t like the idea of being spanked during sex because it carries a negative connotation with it from their childhood. The act of spanking can dig up unsettling memories of being punished and humiliated as a child.

Nobody wants that during sex, right?

Well, some people do. And this is where things get a bit weird with the spanking.

What’s both interesting and disturbing about the punishment and humiliation factor of spanking is that many adults consensually engage in spanking as a form of sexual role-play with one another for more kinky purposes. Spanking can become a titillating sex game of pain and punishment.

Some couples take spanking to the next level — a more sadomasochistic level complete with whips and restraints. However, that’s probably a whole other article in the making.

The potential tie between using spanking as a traditional punishment for children and using spanking as consensual sexual stimulation as an adult is not well-researched. In other words, there hasn’t been a proven correlation as far as being able to tell if those who were spanked or not spanked as children grow up want spanking during sex or vice versa.

Most adults who are into spanking aren’t necessarily relating it to unpleasant childhood experiences. They’re just in it for the pleasure and the excitement of trying something considered to be ‘kinky’. Plus, for many people, it simply feels good.

Kink is defined as ‘unconventional sexual taste or behavior’ which the act of spanking falls into. It’s the act of striking or hitting a part of the body that’s sexualized — which the derriere undoubtedly is.

Besides a woman’s breasts, a woman’s bottom is probably the most sexualized part of her body in our culture and society.

Back to my lady friends. Surprisingly, the women I asked weren’t too into spanking at all. They don’t mind it — if it happens it happens. However, it’s not one of their favorite things on the sex menu.

I like spanking but it can feel a bit strange at times — and as one of my girlfriends commented, spanking can feel ‘inauthentic’ if it’s done randomly or overly aggressively.

An additional comment from one of my female friends described using spanking (given from a woman to a man) as a way to ‘pick up the pace’ if you will. That just means smacking a man’s backside to make him go faster. Riding crop, anyone?

I’ve known a couple of men who like to be spanked during sex and I think it does tend to help with the pace of things or grab their attention. It helped stimulate the action.

All in all, I was surprised that I received such a lukewarm response on spanking during sex from my inner circle of female goddesses. Maybe spanking isn’t such a thing after all and maybe more people aren’t loving getting spanked like I thought they were for all kinds of different reasons.

Tell me what YOU think. Spanking during sex? YES or NO…?

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