Why Trying Is Better Than Doing Nothing at All
Radical Acceptance.
At the best of times, life can be an exhilarating road full of positivity and love, courage and passion, intimacy and individuality. At the worst of times, life can be negative and lonely. We may feel like it is easier to give up or stay neutral in our lives. But I am here to tell you that you need to try. If you do nothing, nothing will change. Yes, indeed, you may not get any sadder, but you also won’t get any happier. That will have a knock-on effect not just on yourself, but the people around you. Come along as I teach you how to keep on trying even when you feel like you are down and out.
Understanding Radical Acceptance:
In itself, trying is a highly courageous act. It involves taking a plunge into the unknown and praying that the outcome is a positive and fulfilling one. However, it can be very difficult to find the motivation to try by ourselves. This is where the DBT skill of “radical acceptance” can help you. The act of radical acceptance encourages us to fully acknowledge and embrace the reality of our situation without any judgment towards any other individual or object. This is the hard part. Even if you don’t like or agree with another person or topic, I invite you to acknowledge those fears and doubts, recognise your pain but ask yourself… what is holding you back?
When it comes to trying, radical acceptance is a key tool for anybody who can master the art of accepting reality for what it is. As humans, we tend to amplify our surroundings, leading to increased paranoia and unexpected fear and anxiety over future events. I invite you to use the radical acceptance skill to recognise your doubts and fears but not let them hold you back. Instead, lift that beautiful head out of the sand. It is time to face life head-on.
How to Use Radical Acceptance:
- Understand the Concept: Radical Acceptance is a skill that involves fully acknowledging and accepting reality, even when it’s difficult or painful, without judgment or resistance.
- Recognize What You Can’t Change: Identify situations, emotions, or past events that you cannot control or change. This might include past mistakes, losses, or circumstances beyond your influence.
- Validate Your Emotions: Acknowledge and validate your feelings about the situation. It’s essential to accept that it’s normal to feel upset or hurt when faced with challenging realities.
- Let Go of Judgment: Release any judgment or blame towards yourself or others. Understand that everyone, including yourself, is imperfect and experiences hardships.
- Practice Willingness: Be willing to experience and endure the discomfort that comes with radical acceptance. This involves letting go of the struggle against reality and surrendering to it.
- Stay Present: Focus on the present moment and avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Be fully present with what is happening right now.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Offer yourself self-compassion and understanding. Acceptance does not mean giving up, but rather acknowledging that things are as they are right now.
- Avoid Ruminating: Refrain from excessive rumination or seeking constant explanations for why things happened. Sometimes, there may not be a clear reason, and that’s okay.
- Practice Regularly: Radical Acceptance is a skill that improves with practice. Consistently use this skill when faced with difficult situations to build resilience and emotional well-being.
Embracing Courage With Radical Acceptance
It takes a hell of a lot of courage to step into the unknown. By radically accepting the situation in front of us, we can face our biggest fears without the need to push the feeling away or deny its existence in our minds. It has taught me to acknowledge my anxieties and insecurities surrounding new endeavours, but not let them dictate my decisions. Through Radical Acceptance, I found the strength to try even when the outcome was uncertain, allowing me to grow and evolve beyond my comfort zone.
Using your WISE Mind:
Radical Acceptance works hand in hand with another DBT skill called WISE Mind. Wise Mind is the integration of both emotional and rational thinking. We call this the “emotion” mind and the “rational” mind. When we can balance the facts (rational) and the feelings (emotion) we can navigate the terrain and accept our reality for what it is. When we combine these two skills, we approach trying with a more balanced and prosperous perspective. When things don’t go as planned, Radical Acceptance helps us accept the situation while Wise Mind allows us to analyze and learn from any setbacks. This combination has been instrumental in helping me see failures as opportunities for growth, making each attempt a valuable learning experience.
Building confidence:
Fingers crossed, by the time you have reached this point in the article, you have been able to take some knowledge out of this. Remember to continue practicing these skills as they can be useful tools for navigating the complexities of life. Instead of being overly critical of ourselves, we can learn to be kind and understanding, even in the face of challenges. This self-compassion has been a driving force in building my confidence. When I try something new, I know that even if it doesn’t work out, I can treat myself with kindness, encouraging me to keep trying and believing in my abilities and continuously aiming at growing my skill set. One of the most powerful aspects of Radical Acceptance is how it influences those around us. When we fully embrace ourselves and life’s uncertainties, we become an inspiration to others. By demonstrating that we can try despite obstacles, we empower others to embrace their journeys with courage and determination. Me and my partner, Layla, have integrated radical acceptance into our relationship and daily lives, creating a supportive environment where we uplift and encourage one another.
Radical Acceptance is more than just a skill; it is a transformative way of approaching life’s challenges. By embracing reality with an open heart and mind, we find the strength to try, grow, and evolve. Combining Radical Acceptance with Wise Mind allows us to navigate setbacks and failures with resilience, transforming them into stepping stones for success. Through this DBT skill, I have discovered the courage to take action, build confidence, and inspire others to do the same. If you have any questions or queries surrounding Radical Acceptance, or if you need any help please reach out.
Thank you for taking the time and listening to my story. Medium has been a fantastic place for me to open up, receive support, and most importantly to aid my recovery. I feel like I am reclaiming my life and that is thanks to all of you!!