Mr Unknown.
I feel so individual with this issue. Not one person in my social circle can relate to me. People are unable to hear the aggression and flat-out crude nature of the voice in my head. The man who will not leave me alone, say hello to… Mr Unknown.
Chapter 1: The Perfectionist
Striving for perfection, I find myself caught in a relentless battle with the voice in my head. It constantly reminds me that I’m not good enough and that achieving perfection is the only way to succeed. In front of my bathroom mirror, I prepare myself for the world, hoping to satisfy the voice’s need for perfection, even though I know it’s an unattainable goal.
Chapter 2: High Standards
As I step out into the world, the weight of this internal struggle follows me like a shadow. Every decision, every action, and every word I speak must be meticulously calculated, as any slight misstep could lead to failure in the eyes of the relentless voice. I long for validation and acceptance, but I fear that I will never measure up to the unattainable standards set by Mr Unknown.
Chapter 3: My Very Own Stalker
My mere existence feels like a never-ending nightmare, and all I wish for is to escape it by slipping into an eternal slumber. In my dreams, I yearn for simplicity and perfection, a respite from the torment of reality. But Mr Unknown doesn’t let me rest in my sleep, he follows me. He follows me everywhere.
Chapter 4: The Dream Snatcher
In the realm of my dreams, an unsettling presence lurks – an elderly man with a face obscured, unleashing disturbing obscenities and haunting my sleep. In what should be a sanctuary, I find myself tormented by Mr. Unknown. In the one place I am supposed to be safe. Mr Unknown has tried to rape me, pinning me down to my bed from my childhood. He has invaded my dreams with nightmarish scenarios, attempting to harm and violate me, leaving me feeling unsafe even in my subconscious realm. There was a particularly traumatic night when I awoke surrounded by paramedics, lying in my vomit after a nightmarish encounter with him. In other dreams, he kidnapped me and exposed me to a bus full of abused and neglected children, and once, he even assumed the identity of my father. In my nightmare, Mr Unknown had taken over the role of my father, driving on a dangerous narrow road. He swerved off the road, killing myself and my brother in my nightmare before pulling my body out of the rubble and abusing my corpse.
Chapter 5: Things That Go Bump In The Night…
Despite these haunting experiences, I draw comfort in knowing that Mr. Unknown’s power over me is limited to my nightmares, leaving me strong and resilient in waking hours. However, only in my nightmares will Mr Unknown ever have a hold over me again, it is only at night that I am vulnerable and afraid….
Thank you for taking the time and listening to my story. Medium has been a fantastic place for me to open up, receive support, and most importantly to aid my recovery. I feel like I am reclaiming my life and that is thanks to all of you!!
