PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Why Most Empaths Are In Fact Narcissists In Disguise
And why there is no such thing as an empath
Empath is not an officially recognised mental health disorder. There is something referred to as a Highly Sensitive Person. This, however, does not mean someone with high levels of empathy but someone who has sensory processing sensitivity. It is not an officially recognised mental health disorder either.
In fact, HSP seems similar to autism. People with both seem highly sensitive to external and internal stimuli such as loud noises or a clothing label that stings in your neck and become overstimulated from their thoughts and emotions. Both are also easily overwhelmed, resulting in extreme fatigue and panic attacks due to a lack of or underdeveloped coping mechanisms.
This leads me to think that some undiagnosed people on the Autism Spectrum may be mistakenly calling themselves a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP is simply a variation of ASD.
Now onto why I think the majority of empaths are narcissists and the remaining are co-dependents (Dependent Personality Disorder):
I was watching this video the other day and they listed out some traits of empaths.
- Empaths feel and suspect envy
- Empaths are difficult to fool
- Empaths can never be lied to
- Empaths know when something is wrong
- Empaths sense negativity in hatred
- Empaths feel and sense discrimination
- Empaths know when someone is on the wrong direction
- Empaths dislike sweet talk
- Empaths sense pretention
- Empaths spot exploitation
The traits of an “empath” seem to match the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder on DSM 5:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
- A need for excessive admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally exploitive behaviour
- A lack of empathy
- Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
- A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes
Empaths believe they are unique because they have an inhumane level of empathy that gives them special powers to understand other people.
They are grandiose and self-important as they believe they can detect lies better than other people and can supposedly tell when someone is exploiting them.
Apparently, they can spot when others are envious, which also indicates narcissistic pathology as not only the belief that everyone thinks you are special enough to be envied is one of the symptoms of NPD in the DSM5, it is also an indicator of arrogance and grandiosity.
They can “feel and sense discrimination”, which in my opinion, indicates victim mentality (sense of entitlement). If someone is more prone than others to constantly feeling victimised, that means they interpret events around them as specifically done to treat them unfairly. People with personality disorders have a victim mentality because they externalise blame.
I believe “empaths” actually lack empathy because people with a history of childhood trauma lack empathy. Our emotions develop during our childhood through our interactions with our caregivers — we are not born with them. Our brains continue to develop until we are 25.
If you had dysfunctional parents, this can result in arrested development which is what personality disorders are. Having any personality disorder means you lack the full-fledged emotional experience of a healthy adult. Contrary to popular misperception, this includes co-dependents too. People simply confuse their hypersensitivity with being empathetic and guilt-prone.
If people can hurt you easily with their words and behaviours because you are highly sensitive to them, this means you lack empathy because if you could empathise and understand others, they wouldn’t affect you as strongly.
People who lack empathy are insecure, easily offended and take everything personality. Hypersensitivity is the biggest indicator that someone lacks empathy. In fact, the less capacity you have for empathising with others, the more hypersensitive you will be.
That said, it is not true that just because someone lacks empathy, they cannot feel it at all. I have already discussed why those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can feel emotional empathy in certain situations:
So the fact that someone was able to feel emotional empathy in the past doesn’t preclude them from potentially having NPD.
The same applies to those with Dependent Personality Disorder, which is the disorder with the highest level of personality organisation. They can most definitely feel empathy, but they still lack this in certain situations.
Externalising blame shows a lack of empathy which co-dependents do but they can also hold themselves automatically responsible for others’ conduct at times. This also comes from lacking empathy and an inability to understand other people. Why should others’ behaviour have anything to do with you? It’s about them.
Healthy people with healthy levels of empathy are capable of understanding other people and themselves. They also have strong boundaries. Truly empathetic people are resilient.
What to do if you’re suffering from the Empath Delusion:
- Do not diagnose yourself with anything. Go see a psychologist or a psychiatrist and get an accurate diagnosis.
- Stop separating yourself as special and superior. You are a normal person, and you do not have a superhuman capacity for empathy.
- Accept your humanness and flaws. We are all selfish and bad sometimes. Even the nicest person in the world has selfish desires. Stop trying to present yourself as an innocent angel who would do no wrong. All humans have a good side and a bad side. Even the saints and the most f*cked up criminals do. You are no exception.
- Get rid of your victim mentality. Do not ever identify with any label that paints you as a victim. The reason why you end up dating narcissists and other abusers is most likely because you have a history of childhood trauma. People like those who are similar to them. However, this doesn’t mean your fate is to remain a victim forever. Go to therapy and do whatever it takes to change your attachment style to secure. I have seen people around me do this and go on to form healthy relationships. It is definitely possible to change.
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