Why Male-Dominated Industries Need More Feminine Love

Psychologist Marion Woodman helps us reconnect with our buried feminine

“So… it’s not working out. We tried. You’re just not a good fit for this environment,” my male manager sits across from me with serious eyes. Our human resources person walks in with paperwork. Game over.

I burned out from my profitable tech career, then ended up in another male-dominated workplace: the bicycle industry. Wild, right?

I’d felt very nervous about being the only woman working in my building (terrified even), but I’d hoped to inspire a more inclusive culture. What did happen: my needs for sustainability and psychological safety clashed with the frenzied doing and ongoing insensitivity.

Between those two jobs, I’d taken an 18-month personal sabbatical. I got into depth therapy, did shadow work, and unraveled layers of patriarchal bullsh*t. You know, like internalized misogyny, imbalanced power structures, and ego-centric workaholism.

“The experience of the feminine is the psychological key to both the sickness of our time and its healing,” — Marion Woodman, Jungian psychologist and author of “Addiction to Perfection.”

I’ve been gaining insight through my feminine discovery journey. I believe our need to be “overachievers” covers our often unconscious craving for feminine love. Spiritually, I’d call this “oneness” or “Being-ness.”

To clarify, all genders have feminine and masculine energies. I view femininity as our capacity for things like creating, surrendering, playing, caring, and nurturing. It’s the stillness between the doing; it’s the energy our words and labels can never hope to fully express.

As I sat across from this man who had the power to take away my job, I felt calm and a bit heartbroken. During our initial interviews, he had persuaded me that they were ready to lean into diversity, and I believed him.

Now as I reflect on my career journey big picture, I know I’m moving towards better ‘fits.’ My sensitivity was never the problem; it’s a beautiful gift.

Burnout damages our well-being on so many levels, and it’s not okay. It’s very common in tech industries, with nearly 60% currently feeling burned out. Treating our bodies like robots is not working.

Honoring my emotions

Working in masculine work cultures, I’ve experienced so much insensitivity. I used to think I had “thick skin,” but really, I’d just shoved down inconvenient emotions.

A beautiful, collaborative workplace feels safe, challenging, and exciting. But often, I’ve felt sky-high stress and disconnect. Since high school, my body has been hormonally out of sync with highly irregular periods and many skipped cycles, one of many physical symptoms.

Our emotions aren’t this horrible “touchy-feely” topic; it’s a life-or-death situation. Our animal bodies don’t know the difference between a bear attack and public criticism. I’ve often sensed others’ disapproval and felt triggered at work — it’s not great for productivity.

My therapist introduced me to Woodman’s work, which has helped me reconnect with my femininity and understand compulsive behaviors.

To strive for perfection is to kill love because perfection does not recognize humanity. However driven it becomes, the ego cannot achieve its perfectionist ideals because another Reality is within, — Woodman.

When you grow up without grounding in your body and feminine values, you find ways to suppress those deeper needs. We lean into ‘vices,’ often literally poisoning ourselves and choosing death rather than life.

Feminity is taking responsibility for who I am — not what I do, not how I seem to be, not what I accomplish.

When all the doing is done and I have to face myself in my naked reality, who am I? What are my values? What are my needs? Am I true to myself or do I betray myself? What are my feelings? Am I capable of love? Am I true to my love? — Woodman.

Connecting with my emotions and physical body has been critical. Rather than forcing myself to do more, I respect my body’s natural limitations. I find ways to listen and connect, i.e. yoga, breath work, creative expression, dream work, and active imagination.

When I feel relaxed and aligned, good things happen, typically in ways I never could have planned. I’ve tapped into a synchronous world, which has always existed alongside linear paths. I experience brilliant creativity.

Identifying workplace insensitivity

I grew up with the masculine values of achieving (and discipline and grit), as most men and women seem to these days. Healthy ego strength empowers us to create meaning in the world. But without equally honoring femininity, we grow rigid. It’s like building higher and higher towers (or bigger companies) without a supportive, sustainable foundation. Sound familiar?

Driven to achieve perfection, we eventually break down or burn out. Sometimes our bodies force us to stop with an illness or accident. Our psychological wellness has a strong impact on our bodies.

Where love reigns, there is no will to power, and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking, — Carl Jung.

Jung viewed our psyche and bodies as one being. So when things go wrong in your psyche, it can hurt your body. Similarly, when we don’t take care of our bodies, we’ll experience psychological symptoms. Think depression, anxiety, excess stress.

When we seek to build self-worth primarily through achieving, we become imbalanced. Imagine those goal-oriented frenzies you’ve seen at work and likely experienced yourself (I know I have). Do you feel like you ever arrive? Or is it more like a never-ending cycle?

Working with men, particularly male leaders, has felt depressing. These men have repeatedly met my vulnerabilities with deflection, invalidation, and visible annoyance, especially when discussing well-being.

When did proving our lack of emotion become a badge of honor?

The truth is, we’re not robots; we are organic humans with limitations. ‘Busyness’ does not lead to more accomplishments, and more achievements do not lead to self-worth. We keep using this failed equation, hoping it will finally work.

We’ve lived in a patriarchal culture for centuries, and ego-based leadership seems to be the standard.

I’ve felt incredibly unsafe around men who use violent language, assert without also listening, or lean into hierarchical power over collaboration. Think racing heart, shortening breath, and losing oxygen in my brain.

Trying to ‘fit in’ does not work for me anymore; I’ve lost the willingness to compromise my well-being. You’re welcome, world.

Emotional safety is a real need, and emotional abuse impacts us far more than our culture validates.

Let’s keep talking about it.

Valuing psychological safety

Through a massive internal Google study, researchers found psychological safety was the foundational factor for their highest-performing teams. Feeling safe to take risks, share ideas, and be vulnerable leads to effective teamwork. Huge surprise, right? *Eye-roll.*

When leaders model curiosity, ask lots of questions, and show they care about us as a person, we feel safe. Great things happen when we feel empowered to bring up problems and tough issues. We trust each other and work more effectively, and effective teamwork consistently leads to better business outcomes.

When will our leaders prioritize this more accurate equation? Or are we all still scared of growth?

To clarify, I’ve had many beautiful, rewarding experiences working with men I felt safe with. I’ve learned a lot from male coworkers’ perspectives and enjoyed many of their personalities. It’s not about shaming men.

I am calling out the glaring imbalances in our workplaces, and I want to “sunshine” a path to harmony — and better business results.

Creating personal boundaries

After burning out from tech, I felt humiliated, like a complete failure. That pain led me to discover boundaries, a completely unfamiliar concept.

I walked away from a promotion at Facebook, and though my path has felt tumultuous, I one million percent made the right choice. I’ve been connecting with my body and spiritual needs; I feel proud and aligned.

To find the natural rhythms of our bodies, to walk, to see, to hear, to feel with renewed sensitivity and perception, is to return to our birthright which is our gift from the Goddess, — Woodman.

I journal and meditate nearly every morning, and these practices ground me. I prioritize regular movement, and I’m enjoying my hobbies now. I even make space to be completely unproductive. I’m such a wild woman!

I used to view my body as incredibly inconvenient, but we’re becoming friends now.

Rather than ceaseless doing, we can experience space for Being. We can slow down and prioritize, working with reality rather than against it.

Here’s another equation that works: space for playfulness and imagination leads to productive creativity. Isn’t inspired creativity huge for capitalism?

While my healing path might seem linear: burn out, take a sabbatical, and then create boundaries. My real experience spirals… a lot. It’s like two steps forward, three steps back. I’ve discovered buried demons and marched out to face them, then fallen face-first in the mud many times.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. — Anais Nin

Back to the bike shop breakup: my manager’s choice didn’t surprise me. Opening to growth and expansion can feel terrifying. But it’s worth it, and we have to make changes because the state of our work cultures often feels unbearable in its’ rigidity and blind compulsions.

Love is the real power. It’s the energy that cherishes. The more you work with that energy, the more you will see how people respond naturally to it, and the more you will want to use it. It brings out your creativity and helps everyone around you flower. Your children, the people you work with — everyone blooms — Woodman.

For my immediate future, I’ll prioritize emotional and psychological safety in choosing professional collaborators. I expect I’ll connect with more women this time.

And I’ve realized I feel proud for making waves; it’s about time.

Because leaning into diversity means much more than hiring women or any other minority. It’s about embracing our differences, learning from new perspectives, and grounding in the power of love rather than the love of power.

Let’s stop celebrating workaholism or perfectionism and start honoring the natural rhythms of our beautiful, sacred bodies.

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