How I’m Transforming Period Shame Into My New Superpower

Menstrual expert Maisie Hill inspires us to embrace our cycles.

“…Maloney stated, ‘We need to stop acting like women’s daily needs are something we can’t handle…’ Men who want to be allies, take note,” — Maisie Hill, in Period Power.

For two years, I’ve been pouring into women’s literature and reconnecting with my femininity. Supporting my changing body empowers me to flourish. When I feel relaxed and grounded, good things happen. I experience clarity, enjoy genuine connection, and channel my expansive creativity.

What if we could alchemize period shame into divine feminine* power? *While I see periods as a feminine experience, it’s not exclusive to women.

At 28 years old, I’ve regularly bled for 17 years. Periods always disgusted me, like a reality to hide. The idea that I could channel my hormones into personal and professional growth never crossed my mind. Instead, I pushed myself through the pain. Why is my body so fucking inconvenient?

Early on, I internalized period pains as punishment for being female. Didn’t God curse Eve for being too curious? Yes, our cultural mythology and histories influence our unconscious perceptions much more than I realized.

On that note, men have dominated the human narrative for centuries. The media messaging we hear about periods uses negative implications: we need “hygiene” products or tampons to feel “clean.” Because, of course, we’d love to “get back out there” and play tennis in white skirts *eye-roll*.

If women had enjoyed an equal space in telling our human stories, would we have “period poverty”? Probably not. Instead, I’ve spent most of my life feeling confused and repulsed by my hormone cycles.

Now, with resources and curiosity, understanding my cycle feels exciting. My body makes a lot of sense, and that journey includes more than just bleeding or not. We have four distinct phases, each with fascinating shifts, opportunities, and strengths.

Let’s stop apologizing for our beautiful intricacies and start embracing our superpowers. When I recognize what’s happening, I find ways to support myself, adjust my lifestyle, and use hormones to my benefit. We’re not “crazy.” We’ve felt intense repression, and it’s time to make changes.

I. Revisiting early period messaging

In her book, Hill explains how menarche, our first period, often dictates our relationship to our cycle. At 11 years old, I absorbed everything my caretakers and environment said or implied about menstruation.

I remember watching women smuggle period products in their purses, careful to hide them. Men avoided the topic at all costs. I felt like life would suck from now on, because I had to do all the things men do along with this new embarrassing physical pain.

I truly believed being a woman sucked, and I spent a long time proving how competent and masculine I could be. There were no celebrations of my newfound womanhood. Instead, periods felt like proof that women are unreliable, unclean, and “unfit” — the “lesser” gender.

Hill noted when we have a negative menarche experience, we’re less likely to seek out gynecologist support or find ways to improve our cycles.

Here are a few questions from the book:

• When you first got your period, what happened?
• How did you feel about it?
• How did the people around you talk about it?
• What implied messages did you internalize?

Dealing with my shadows seriously improves my life. I recommend it.

II. Exploring the four cycle phases

Hill’s book offers a practical guide for making your cycle work for you. She encourages readers to use her recommendations as a template. Ultimately, everyone’s cycle impacts them differently.

Each cycle includes menstruation, follicular, ovulation, and luteal. Hill uses season metaphors, i.e., menstruation as a winter.

Reading about each phase feels eye-opening. Rather than pushing myself through the lower-energy luteal and menstruation phases, I can feel the objective hormone shifts and have a language to talk about it. These phases work well for editing, decluttering, and re-prioritizing.

During the higher-energy follicular and ovulation phases, I take risks, pour into workouts, and start new projects. Estrogen and testosterone hormones increase, so I let myself explore opportunities and be proactive.

Here are a few more takeaways for each phase:

• Follicular (spring): Don’t rush into things. Create space to be playful and adventurous. Take lots of notes about ideas and be curious about what I feel drawn to or repelled by.
• Ovulation (summer): My sexual energy will likely be raging. Be mindful about how I channel my passion. Are there big projects I feel excited about? What do I want to focus on?
• Luteal (fall): Listen to my inner bitch; she’s often wiser than I give her credit for. Start saying “no” more often, waiting for the “fuck, yes.” Be aware of my inner critic and ready to address it.
• Menstruation (winter): Let yourself rest. Seriously, you need (and deserve) it. Reduce caffeine and sugar; eat healthy foods. Exercise, but don’t overdo it. Be curious about personal and professional insights; set intentions for the next cycle.

Since tracking these phases, I’ve had more “ah-ha” moments. Like, I’m not a terrible person. My testosterone and estrogen hormones plummeted; that’s why I felt so irritable and angry about everything. I can be kinder with myself and look for ways to nurture my body.

On a practical note, I use the Natural Cycles app to record my temperature and track phases. I also color-coded my daily journal entries to align with my cycle, i.e., “day 27, luteal.”

III. Embracing my unique cycle

While learning how most menstruators experience each phase, I need to understand my specific experiences.

I’ve had a very irregular cycle since I can remember, skipping my period several months at a time. While there are many potential reasons (which I’m still exploring), I imagine high stress has been a notable factor.

Since reading the Period Power book, I’ve been working with cycle reflection questions most days. Here are a few from the book:

• What feels easy today? What feels difficult?
• Is this a phase of your cycle where you feel at ease? Or not?
• What are you drawn to or repelled by? How does that feel?
• What needs do you have? (emotionally, spiritually, physically, practically)
• Are you being kind to yourself? If not, why not?
• What challenges are you facing? How can you support yourself or ask for support?
• What is your deepest desire today? How does that relate to where you are in your cycle and in your life right now?

Having data to look back on helps so much. Understanding the biological factors gives me more personal insight, as I work to lower stress and increase self-compassion.

Since quitting birth control pills and tuning in, my cycle has become drastically more regulated. Also, switching jobs and career paths seems more calming for my body.

IV. Communicating my needs

I’ve already made numerous adjustments to work with my hormones.

With more cycle awareness, I often talk about my phases with partners, friends, managers, and coworkers. It’s a fun response to, “How are you?” Well… “I’m hardcore ‘PMS-ing’ today. How are you?”

I’ve adjusted some work responsibilities during my period week and made a rest day the default for period day one.

For writing, I’m experimenting with drafting new articles during my follicular phase and using my luteal time for editing.

For practical needs, I’ve started “preparing for winter” by stocking my pantry and doing personal chores ahead of time, i.e., laundry and house cleaning. I will not feel like doing that during my period week.

Since diving in to understand my cycle, my shyness evaporated almost entirely. While I don’t try to make people uncomfortable, if someone does feel weird about the topic, that’s clearly a growth opportunity for them.

I’m really ready to celebrate my feminine gifts and start living like my body is a blessing — not an inconvenience.

Cycle awareness feels like a return to natural rhythms, and we get to be intimately tuned in.

We can’t have constant growth without space for disintegration and regeneration. Rather than hating my menstruation, I appreciate the introspection and personal insights.

We are passionate, sexual, and creative Beings. Rather than forcing ourselves into a domesticated, masculine environment, we get to reclaim our bodies.

Rather than making babies each time we ovulate, we get to use that momentum to further our personal and professional goals.

Also, our hormonal cycles are cool as hell. As menstruating humans, we experience a level of depth and nuance that’s simply beautiful. Let’s find ways to use our cycle superpowers and be gentle with tough parts.

Yes, we experience regular hormonal roller coasters, and that’s incredible. Let’s keep talking about it.

I write inspiring, uplifting, and empowering content on transformative topics. Join the Weekly Love News on my website to receive creative offerings each week (Tuesdays) in your email inbox.