avatarGillian Sisley

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Abstract

omen’s movements advocating for gender equality in an intersectional way, where feminism should meet the experiences of this demographic of women, is at her intersection of <b><i>culture</i></b>, race, and gender oppression that is at a cross-road with the traditional, white, female-focused movement in the first (1840–1920), second (1962–1980s), and possibly arguably even third (1990s) <a href="https://www.history.com/news/feminism-four-waves">waves of feminism</a> that mainly all focused on the experiences of oppression from a predominantly western white female perspective alone.</p><h1 id="034e">Female Gender Oppression: Population Control via The Medical Profession</h1><p id="531d">Kim Jiyoung’s friend falls pregnant, and what a drama it caused; this was around the time when the government implemented “birth control” policies they called “family planning.” Abortion was legal for medical related reasons. What if I told you that being born female was also considered a “medical problem” and a reason for her friend to consider abortion? And clearly some medical professionals felt the same way. The author cites this as a common dilemma for women throughout the 1980s-1990s. While the author does not go deep into this subject as part of the plot, I did do some investigation myself into this. According to the <i>Feminist Majority’s</i> short report they released in <a href="https://feminist.org/news/korean-women-pressured-to-abort-girl-babies-to-try-for-sons/">January 1997</a> they confirmed that:</p><blockquote id="cdaa"><p>“Although fetal sex identification and abortion are against the law in South Korea, women continue to feel pressure to abort girl fetuses in order to try for sons.”</p></blockquote><p id="5cf4">Also</p><blockquote id="fe88"><p>“Compared to a natural ratio of 105 boys born for every 100 girls (which later evens out to 1:1 since boys die earlier), some regions in South Korea have rates of 125 boys born to every 100 girls resulting in 30,000 fewer girls born each year than would be the case without sex-influenced abortions.”</p></blockquote><p id="9143">And</p><blockquote id="41f7"><p>“A Chinese government report in 1992 found the ratio in China at 118.5 boys to 100 girls, statistics which embarrassed the government enough that it never formally released the results.”</p></blockquote><p id="9f55">When looking the pressure Korean women face to have sons, taking a simple glance at the birth rate ratio would lead a critical mind to see the ratio supports the argument that the medical profession had what I would call “a silent compliance” to help embed and maintain female oppression, by aborting female babies. Sure, no doctor with his or her head on straight will announce to the world, “come to me for female terminations, I’ll gladly help you.” But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t going on. The stats on the birth rate ratio show that at this point in time, in the nineties when the rates were released, female terminations must have been carried out at a high rate.</p><p id="1f4d">What is key to note about the male to female birth rate ratio is: any parent will probably remember the scan they were given when their fetus was eighteen to twenty weeks old. Around this time, when you’re offered a nice photo of the baby, you can also <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/when-can-you-find-out-sex-of-baby#medical-tests">learn the sex of the baby</a>. For the Korean women it’s at this point that terminations logically must have been happening for females babies. This is as late as five months into pregnancy; abortions done then come with a higher risk to the mother as stated in the research done by <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9614144/"><i>Frontiers in Women’s Global Health’s</i></a><i> </i>2022 study across southern Ethiopia. Their report asserts that:</p><blockquote id="eb57"><p>“Second-trimester abortion accounts for 10–15% of all induced abortions, with varying rates across countries, and is responsible for two-thirds of major abortion complications. It is also associated with higher medical costs, morbidity, and mortality rates than first-trimester abortion.”</p></blockquote><p id="e44f">With only 10–15 % as a norm for abortions at this stage, we can assume it’s not the norm globally. The <a href="http://aidtowomencenter.org/abortion-secondtrimester"><i>Aid to Women Centre</i></a> also cites a lot of risks and complications post abortion for women who have second trimester abortions. The Korean women have been subjected to a health risk, for the sake of maintaining their cultural patriarchy, which is not something we see a lot of for the western woman, in western culture.</p><p id="d54f">If we further compare the western gender oppression to the Koren women’s via the outcomes for female babies, and the medical profession’s willingness to partake in oppression, and lastly the health risk of a woman choosing late termination (even if the practice was more common in the eighties-nineties), you see that this type of oppression is not a cultural norm in the west. It could be argued that pressure should be placed on the Korean medical profession for better regulation of abortion practices.</p><p id="67d5">For Korean women their intersection of cultural oppression includes a key aspect western woman do not have. Which is: from the womb, females leave a bad taste in society’s mouth. Whether you have a girl or a boy, generally speaking, for the western woman it is a cause for celebration, not abortion.</p><figure id="d363"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*i1XzuPmk2jAonENWjAYxTA.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@thatsherbusiness?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">That’s Her Business</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/white-ceramic-mug-on-white-ceramic-plate-8KHPeh9mNvs?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h1 id="3e35">The Role of Korean Women: Their ‘Double Jeopardy’ and Work</h1><p id="a483">Being a woman with another characteristic that can be used for oppression (such as race or class), has been defined as ‘a double jeopardy’ by the black feminist Frances. M. Beal, in her work <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Jeopardy:_To_Be_Black_and_Female"><i>Double Jeopardy: To Be Black and Female (1969)</i></a><i>. </i>In relation to the Korean woman, her double jeopardy is being female and living in a <b>culture which defines her role in a specific way</b>. Korean females are often not shunned for working or discouraged from working. In the west, the “right to work” caused a ruckus from predominantly white women in the second wave (1963–1980s) of feminism, against white men’s oppression. But the Korean woman is often expected to work, not for herself but to support the males in her family so that <b>they can progress</b> in life. Woman will work in substandard conditions with risks to their health, for terrible wages, to gain a few pennies to rub together in the contribution pot of male success. In <i>Kim Jiyong, Born in 1982, </i>the author writes:</p><blockquote id="b3ac"><p>“This was at a time when people believed it was up to the <b>sons</b> to bring honour and success to the family. The family’s wealth and happiness <b>hinged upon male</b> success. The <b>daughters</b> gladly supported the male siblings.”</p></blockquote><p id="e10a">This narrative comes in a scene where we see a Korean lady struggling with work to provide for a man and fulfill her cultural duty. Yet she could not dream for herself, and she could not be a success, and she could not work in the profession of her own desire.</p><p id="f2e2">Where culture meets feminism from this angle of work and roles in society, is a need to recognise the “double jeopardy” for Korean women — that is focused on <b>cultural roles and norms</b> for her as a woman in the world of work. Outside of being white and female, the cultural roles for women often do look very different for the black, brown, and minority woman; I have said this before and will keep saying it.</p><p id="bac4">The Korean woman is in a similar position of not being able to pursue her dream of her ideal career, just like white feminists fought for the right to work against white men. However, what is unique to women in different communities is that it is <b>a necessity for them to work and they are expected to</b>, <b>but not for them</b>, for the <b>patriarchy</b>, in the context of Korean women. For black women this looks different which I do plan to write about in a future story. Sticking to the Korean women’s plight and experience, now, if this is not oppression worth noting, or checking the patriarchy’s behaviour to show them how it damages the Korean women, then I don’t know what is.</p><p id="f1a9" type="7">Where culture meets feminism from this angle of work and roles in society, is a need to recognise the “double jeopardy” for Korean women</p><h1 id="7d11">Education of Korean Girls and Women</h1><p id="7ff4">In addition to being expected to work minor jobs to support the patriarchy, the Korean woman’s education is sacrificed. Boys are prepared for school with the right equipment, books, lunches etc., as mentioned earlier. Later on, when it comes to further education, boys are encouraged to attend higher education to access the degrees that will land them high paying jobs. While girls are not put in this position, but it’s fine for them to work on lower paying jobs, in risky environments, to support this cultural norm and the patriarchy. If you’re a woman in the west, tell me: when was the last time this was expected of you, as a woman?</p><h1 id="3ac5">How Cultural Oppression Embraces Sexual and Physical Harassment</h1><p id="7490">One of the most heartbreaking things about the cultural oppression Korean women face, for me as a reader of the author’s work, was how vivid it was that sexual and physical harassment is something Korean girls should just get used to. It appeared to be a cultural norm, something that starts from an early age and doubles down on the learning Korean girls gain around their status being lower than boys.</p><p id="fe7a">It appears that if a girl or woman is a victim, she is questioned over what she possibly could have done to bring the assault on herself. We do see this today in the western culture at times; it would be a lie to say we don’t.</p><p id="a618">The difference is when comparing the western woman’s potential experience of the doubt around her experiences, and the Korean woman’s, culturally it seems more acceptable to disbelieve a Korean woman. Also, it’s more culturally acceptable to physically/sexually harass women. For women, it’s almost like harassment is an expected life experience that is a woman’s responsibility to avoid.</p><p id="669c">One of the most dramatic examples of this embedded culture was while Kim Jiyoung was at school. She was bullied by a boy, and the teacher blamed her. The truth only came out when another young girl was brave enough to raise her hand and say what she saw. Later on, we follow young Kim Jiyong’s story as she makes her way home from school. A boy follows her, and even attempts to intimidate her with sexual advances on the bus. Her father’s response is to ask her, “what did you do?” for her to bring on his attack.</p><p id="4479"><a href="http://dis.hanyang.ac.kr/lyceum-vol-1/sexual-harassment-in-south-korea/"><i>The Hangyang Dis Division of International Studies</i></a> backs up the ex

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periences of Kim Jiyoung; they reported in 2018:</p><ul><li>a sexual assault is reported across south Korea at a rate of 3 cases an hour.</li><li>98% of assaulters being men, and 86% of victims being women.</li><li>One of the most common places of assault happening in the workplace.</li></ul><p id="cca9"><a href="http://dis.hanyang.ac.kr/lyceum-vol-1/sexual-harassment-in-south-korea/">The <i>Hangyang Dis Division of International Studies </i></a>also says in their report:</p><blockquote id="cdd6"><p>“Before you ask yourself why these women don’t speak-out, you must first understand the culture background of their society.”</p></blockquote><p id="1008">Supporting the last point above, we see workplace sexual harassment when Kim Jiyoung enters the world of work, in the field of marketing. A male security guard takes it upon himself to install secret cameras in one female toilet, then uploads the images to a pornographic site. He shares his assault with other men in the workplace, the cat is only let out of the bag when the word reached Kim Jiyoung’s female friend via her boyfriend — who warned her to use a different bathroom. The women engage in sexual assault litigation against the company; then the male CEO of the company responds to the women who were victims of the pornographic website experience:</p><blockquote id="62fc"><p>“It’ll ruin this company’s reputation if word gets around in the field, The accused male employees have families and parents to protect, too. Do you really want to destroy people’s lives like this?”</p></blockquote><p id="3a9e">What we see here is sexual harassment at its finest, with a spoonful of misogyny mixed in. It could be argued that any boss would respond like this, especially a male boss, to protect their company. Yet the men themselves who were part of the sexual assault admitted what they did but see no wrongdoing — that’s the cultural dynamic around overlooking women and sexual assault the <i>Hangyang Dis Division of International Studies</i> is probably referring to in their citation about understanding culture, above.</p><p id="7201">When compared to western culture, this is not something that would be taken as lightly. It could even be argued that a CEO (for the good of their company) is more likely to disassociate with the offenders of sexual assault to protect their brand. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Combs">Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs,</a> the American rapper who currently at the time of writing has <a href="https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2023-12-06/sean-diddy-combs-sexual-assault-harve-pierre-fourth-woman">four sexual assault</a> cases against him, has been dropped from all of his lucrative money making deals by big companies. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Brand">Russell Brand,</a> who is also caught up in sexual assault cases, lost his <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/sep/19/youtube-suspends-russell-brand-revenues-channel">YouTube monetised channels</a>, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Majors">Jonathan Majors</a> was <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/jonathan-majors-assault-projects-dropped-b2324039.html">dropped from his acting roles</a> due to his accusations of sexual assault; this has all happened in 2023 at the time of writing this. In the west what we see here is a different response to women’s sexual assault. We have a “cancel culture” for men. Korean has a “what did we really do wrong? You can’t cancel us” culture. For the fourth wave feminist, this is something to challenge when culture meets feminism. The patriarchy needs checking around their handling — literally of women and their bodies, which they feel are free to access for all.</p><figure id="550f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*fuRradtidxYvIirUNUppbg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@sandym10?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Sandy Millar</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/gold-wedding-band-on-white-textile-8vaQKYnawHw?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h1 id="afc3">About Married Life and Korean Women’s Oppression</h1><p id="736c">For the Korean woman, she is often forced to give up work (if she has been lucky enough to find it), once she gets married. The pressure to get married is high, and her choice between work, marriage, and children is due to cultural expectations; this is not a woman who can have it all in any way shape or form. Once a woman is married it is an expectation, demand, and almost her duty to now start popping out babies — that are male, mind you. So that he can “bring the success, prosperity, and respect to the family,” as mentioned earlier.</p><p id="f56f">It was around 2014 when Kim Jiyoung finally secured work, battling through the sexism she faced as a Korean woman, which I deep dive into in my essay, <a href="https://readmedium.com/is-feminism-to-blame-for-korean-women-taking-down-the-patriarchy-870090bcc034?sk=ab5fcd0da5d394069b13b6107ad7dbe3"><i>Is Feminism to Blame For Korean Women Taking Down The Patriarchy</i></a><i>. </i>Then Kim Jiyoung left work, just as one in five Korean women quit their job citing: marriage, pregnancy, childbirth and care, or the education of their younger children, according to <a href="https://eng.kwdi.re.kr/inc/download.do?ut=A&amp;upIdx=101628&amp;no=1"><i>Women’s Lives Through Statistics in 2015, Statistics Korea</i></a><i>. </i>Around the time Kim Jiyong was faced with life changes the author asserted that:</p><blockquote id="fe06"><p>“The workforce participation rate of Korean women decreases significantly before and after childbirth. Its percentage starts at 63.8% for women aged twenty and twenty-nine, drops to 58% for women aged thirty to thirty-nine.”</p></blockquote><p id="da10">What this shows is that when culture meets feminism in this area for women, there is greater pressure, expectation, and demand for them to leave work to have male children, and if they do return to work after birth — to work to support their son’s progression. The latter, the author demonstrates, often means taking a lower paying job and giving up a career. Kim Jiyoung went from being a marketing executive in a male, sexist, environment — but she made it! — to considering part-time work in an ice cream parlour. This expectation is not a cultural norm for many of us western women, but one we need to be sensitive to, if we are to be inclusive female advocates.</p><p id="c887">Husbands also add to this pressure to leave work but fail to see what their wives are giving up. This plays out for readers clearly when married Kim Jiyoung is pressured by in-laws to have a child, then discusses it with her husband. They have barely been married five minutes at this point:</p><blockquote id="0c7b"><p>“And what will you be giving up <i>Oppa</i>?</p></blockquote><blockquote id="844d"><p>“What?”</p></blockquote><blockquote id="5852"><p>“You said don’t just think about what I’ll be giving up. I’m putting my youth, health, job, colleagues, social networks, career plans, and future on the line. No wonder all I can think about are the things I’m giving up. But what about you? What do you lose by gaining a child.”</p></blockquote><p id="e500">Her husband, true to his culture, did not see Kim Jiyoung’s personal goals, dreams, and rights to work go down the pan, in favour of producing child after child until she has a boy. Only to then take work well below her skills to provide for the male child.</p><p id="3643">For intersectionality to really make an impact in this fourth wave of feminism, as I said in the opening, eyes must be opened, ears must be fixed, and the advocate for women’s rights must step outside not only their <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-intersection-when-race-meets-feminism-the-unfinished-conversation-d39e2dda8062?sk=ecfa9780caf2ab4cc78d4d86dc2d29b3">race</a>, class, sexuality, able body, but also their<b> culture</b> to understand how oppression looks different for different demographics of women. This is how the patriarchy’s behaviour oppresses some women; the men do nothing to change a son’s position being more valuable than daughter’s from the moment they are conceived. They take this status norm in their culture as chance to exploit women sexually, physically, and even financially with Korea having the largest gender pay gap in the Asian countries. The patriarchy’s behaviour is culturally harming women; this is not my opinion, this is based on the data, statistics, and evidence presented. My message to the patriarchy is: don’t argue with me, argue with the evidence, and do something about it.</p><p id="0517"><b>What are your thoughts and feelings now that you’ve seen cultural oppression by reading these words?</b></p><p id="319a"><i>Thanks for your readership, I hope my writing gave you something to think about. If I’ve caught you in a good mood or you’re feeling kind, you can buy me a coffee here: <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/meandmymuse">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/MeAndMyMuse</a>. Why not follow me for more of my thought-provoking muse?</i></p><p id="b84b"><b>Further reading:</b></p><div id="b269" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/is-feminism-to-blame-for-korean-women-taking-down-the-patriarchy-870090bcc034"> <div> <div> <h2>Is “Feminism to Blame” For Korean Women Taking Down The Patriarchy?</h2> <div><h3>And they are using their wombs!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*dlbaZB-GAzJKEHITvpsrLA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="e914" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-intersection-when-race-meets-feminism-the-unfinished-conversation-d39e2dda8062"> <div> <div> <h2>The Intersection When Race Meets Feminism: The Unfinished Conversation</h2> <div><h3>Who is wiling to have it?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*9ssL5l5Hjai5yhg3riC6Jg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9ef5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/intersection-where-class-meets-feminism-are-the-women-of-latin-america-class-less-dc3ff334e521"> <div> <div> <h2>Where Class Meets Feminism: Are the Women of Latin America Class-less?</h2> <div><h3>And whose responsibility is it to improve their lot?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*b5hexyyoSq8tEGd10Fdf2w.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="08a1"><i>For more of the good stuff, follow <a href="https://medium.com/fourth-wave">Fourth Wave</a>. Have you got a story, essay, or poem that focuses on women or other disempowered groups? <a href="https://readmedium.com/submit-to-the-wave-7c92f095e86f">Submit to the Wave!</a></i></p></article></body>

Why Justin Bieber’s Alleged Victims are Only Now Choosing to Speak Out

We saw it when #MeToo was at its height, and we’re seeing it again — over 6 years later, and these stories are coming out of the woodwork.

Screenshot via Justin Bieber’s Instagram page

In a string of survivors stepping forward to call out male celebrities for sexual assault, Justin Bieber is next to come under fire.

Under the alias of “Danielle”, a user claimed that she was sexually assaulted by Bieber in Austin, Texas, on March 9, 2014. She states that she was given the courage to step forward and make her accusations after Gabby, an alleged victim of Ansel Elgort, spoke out about her story online earlier this week.

A portion of Danielle’s now-deleted allegation reads as follows:

Screenshots via PopCrave

Text:

“Fast forward to arriving at the hotel. Justin’s friend brought my 2 friends to a room, and then he took me to another room. Justin had made me agree not to say anything to anyone, or I can get in serious legal trouble. He asked for my phone and put it to charge.

Our small kisses then turned into a steamy make-out session. I told him that this was going to far, and that we needed to stop because I needed to find my friends, mostly because I felt guilty about Selena [Gomez] (Bieber’s then-girlfriend). I told him to get off because I was worried about my friends, but it was too late. He forced himself inside of me before I got my last few words out. I laid there, speechless. My body felt unconscious, I don’t want to go into detail about what happened next. Although, this was 6 years ago, although I was one year older than him (he was 20, I was 21), I was still sexually assaulted without consent.” — Danielle via Twitter

Bieber was quick to respond with hotel and AirB&B receipts for the day in question, in an attempt to prove that he could not have committed the sexual assault. He also state that he attended the event with his then-girlfriend Selena Gomez, to offer further question to the validity of the account.

Bieber calls this event “factually impossible”.

Screenshot via Twitter

Text:

“I don’t normally address things as I have dealt with random accusations my entire career but after talking with my wife and team I have decided to speak up on an issue tonight.

Rumors are rumors but sexual abuse is something I don’t take lightly. I wanted to speak out right away but out of respect to so many victims who deal with these issues daily I wanted to make sure I gathered the facts before I made any statement.

In the past 24 hours a new Twitter appeared that told a story of myself involved with sexual abuse on March 9, 2014 in Austin Texas at the Four seasons hotel. I want to be clear. There is no truth to this story. In fact as I will soon show I was never present at that location.” — Justin Bieber, via Twitter

His full set of responses to “Danielle”’s allegations can be found below:

While Bieber’s receipts prove that he had hotel rooms and attended the event with his then-girlfriend for the weekend, I know just as many survivors so that violation doesn’t have to take hours upon hours for it to be valid.

A rape can take place in just 10 minutes. A sexual assault can take place in 3 minutes. A groping can take place in just one second.

When survivors of sexual assault step forward, they give courage to others to do the same

First Comedian Chris D’Elia, then Actor Ansel Elgort, now Justin Bieber.

As was the exact case when D’Elia and Elgort were called out on social media, once the first victim came forward, other women stepped forward as well to claim they too had been sexually assaulted by the singer

Bieber’s second alleged victim in these accusations, Twitter user ItsnotKadi, claims that she too was sexually assaulted by Justin Bieber in New York City in 2014.

Screenshot via Twitter

Text:

I believe Danielle, I am a victim of sexual assault by Justin Bieber too.

Kadi alleges that her assault took place at New York’s Langham hotel in the early morning hours of May 5, 2015.

She claims that she was groped by Bieber before being forcibly penetrated, at which point she kicked Bieber in self-defence and fled.

Bieber has yet to respond to Kadi’s allegations.

That said, screenshots have arisen showing that Kadi was a superfan of Justin Bieber’s before the alleged assault, with nay-sayers using this as “evidence” to disprove the assault.

As if her devotion to Bieber before the alleged assault makes her a hypocrite.

But what these users fail to recognize is that it is through fame and wealth that male celebrities can so easily take what they want, including sexual gratification.

R. Kelly is a prime example of this phenomenon of using wealth and power to systematically abuse women without consequence— he’s been abusing Black girls and women for decades upon decades, and has only just been held responsible recently.

The need for justice never sleeps.

When you’ve been deeply violated by another person, you crave justice and for them to be held accountable for their actions.

That said, statistically, survivors rarely get the justice they deserve, mostly because our justice system and the public rarely believe them.

And when the perpetrator is one of power, riches, and fame? Well, justice is even LESS likely.

Look at R. Kelly — after 3 decades of proven sexual misconduct with minors (with sex tapes as evidence), plenty of accounts of Black girls and women being kidnapped and held hostage, and dozens upon dozens of victims stepping forward to claim they were abused by him, he only just got sent to jail on over 22 charges in March, pending a trial. Because of his wealth and fame, he is deemed as a high flight risk, and thus is not being allowed bail.

For decades, R. Kelly’s wealth, power and social influence have allowed him to continue to abuse Black girls and women — and nothing was ever done. He wasn’t held accountable for the longest time.

When we reflect on the case of rapist Brock Turner, we are even further deflated. He was caught by two witnesses directly in the act of sexually assaulting a young woman who was passed out, and he spent 3 months in jail. The judge didn’t want to ruin his promising future with a heavier sentence over only “20 minutes of action”.

That was one everyday person, violated by another everyday person, with two credible witnesses — and still, the justice system failed to uphold any real justice.

Now imagine stacking on top of that the fame and wealth that comes with a celebrity. And imagine just how impossible achieving justice would be for those survivors.

I was sexually assaulted by my ex-boyfriend. I never reported him, because I knew he would not be held accountable for his violation of me… I didn’t want to put myself through further trauma by pursuing a case, only for him to walk away scot-free.

I cannot imagine the bravery a human being must carry to step forward and point the finger at someone as famous and supported as Ansel Elgort, or Justin Bieber.

I am in absolute awe of these women.

And I believe them.

Final word.

When I read Danielle and Kadi’s allegations, there was a detail that really struck a chord with me.

They both state that while the assault took place 5–6 years before, it did truly happen, and they had finally found the courage to speak up.

Many disbelieving users find this lapse in time highly suspicious. But for me, this lapse in time really hit home.

It took me, personally, 5 years following my sexual assault to finally speak my truth and tell my story publicly. I have yet to state his name, but I talk about my assault now. I didn’t have the courage to do so before the 5-year-mark.

Like many other survivors, I was too busy focusing on my healing (and sometimes active avoidance) of the event to even consider speaking about it publicly… I knew I was unlikely to be believed statistically, and didn’t have the energy after my violation to accuse my abuser of anything.

I just wanted to find peace and regain a high quality of life despite the trauma I was now forced to live with.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — there is no glory to gain in stepping forward to accuse someone of sexual assault.

There is no 15-minutes-of-fame for a victim when they put their deepest most horrible life’s violation on social media for the public to see, in hopes some justice can be served.

The only things to hopefully be gained are four-fold:

  1. To speak their truth for their own personal closure
  2. To let other survivors know they are not alone, and they are believed
  3. To get justice for the crimes committed against them
  4. And finally, for that abuser to never hurt another person the way they hurt the victim who has stepped forward.

I am a survivor of sexual assault.

I know what the crushing weight of carrying this trauma with you every single day feels like.

I wouldn’t wish this hell on even my worst enemy.

And I believe survivors who step forward.

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