Why Do People Have Commitment Issues?

Simply put, the emotional trigger isn’t strong enough.

When we think about commitment, we have to understand that examining “Commitment” in itself is irrelevant because it is a derivative. And by derivative, it refers to a “result of”. This is where I would like to get into for the purposes of this story.

Commitment is a derivation of 2 things: -

• Problems.
• Aspirations.

These 2 points are relevant in part due to our psychology, and also the emotional strength we feel within us from time to time.

Let me explain.

# 1 — Problems.

Many people believe that solutions come after problems. This is simply not true. Solutions in itself are like the second or third derivative we learnt in Calculus. In my opinion, solutions come after commitment to an action, which comes after recognising the extent of the impact of the problem, which comes after identifying what the problem is.

It is a daisy chain of events.

In order for us to examine commitment in the context of problems, we have to understand whether the problem is big enough for us to act.

The keyword is “big enough”.

That’s because it is impossible for us to attend to every single problem that comes along our way. For instance, having to send an email addressing a customer complaint could be a problem in itself if the operator doesn’t know how to say it but that might not be a problem now because he/she has to deal with an immediate problem of another client threatening to terminate their service contract with the company way before the maturity date.

This is what I mean.

There are PROBLEMS, and there ARE problems.

To understand strong commitment or the lack-there-of in this context — I believe we have to examine the impact of the problem on the individual’s life.

If they foresee a World War 3 at home because an unaddressed problem at home will cause their spouse to erupt, or they are going to lose their commissions, or when their job security is at risk — I guarantee that the commitment will be visible for all to see.

And that means all other problems in their life will face a lack-of-commitment that day.

Life energy is finite after all.

# 2 — Aspirations.

Aspirations drive our actions.

Just like the same way in which commitment to resolving a problem is analysed, having aspirations doesn’t guarantee commitment to action either.

It depends on the emotional pull as well as the mental resilience to tell ourselves that “enough is enough”, it is time for a change.

Why do I say that?

We make goals all the time, and our goals tie in with our aspirations.

Say we want to achieve a net worth of $200,000 by end of this year because I want to become a millionaire by end of year 5.

The goal for this year is $200,000, the aspiration is to become a millionaire.

All that is nice when we set our goals on January 1st.

Then why do we fall off the bandwagon by February or we get distracted from our goals and aspirations?

It is because the goals are not exciting enough for us to stay focused.

Maybe millionaire in 5 years doesn’t sound strong enough in terms of emotional pull because the runway for achievement is long, and the target is set in the far future.

In order for us to act fast, take action today and move, we have to have ambitious daily goals.

When we run against the clock for 24 hours of time utility — we become emotionally driven enough to pull the future towards us with all our strengths.

We must be in the state where we want to want it.

Otherwise, it will be like the annual dieting exercise.

It fails by the 2nd month because losing weight in itself is not a strong pull.

My Simple Takeaway.

I genuinely believe that commitment is a derivative of our problems and aspirations.

Specifically, it is our urge to resolve problems and materialise our aspirations.

When we want to solve the problem now and realise our aspirations today, we will be a commitment to our course of action.

Commitment is the presence in the face of urgency and drive.

That is what I think commitment really is.

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About the Author:

As a Consultant by training, I believe in making the complex simple.

Because simplicity adds value.

Simplicity helps us gain clarity, and clarity helps us to grow.

And if we are not growing, then what’s the point of anything else?

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