avatarJupiter Grant

Summary

Jupiter Grant humorously reflects on the state of their worn-out underwear, struggling with the decision to replace them due to financial considerations and the fact that they are not currently involved in any romantic relationships.

Abstract

In a whimsical and introspective piece, Jupiter Grant muses over their dilemma regarding a pair of underwear with a growing hole. Despite the garment's deteriorating condition, they find it difficult to part with them, citing the need to be frugal. The underwear, while still functional in covering the essentials, is becoming increasingly transparent, yet Grant remains unfazed. This is partly because they are not seeking any intimate encounters and thus do not feel the need to invest in new, more presentable undergarments. The article is a lighthearted take on personal economics and the private nature of one's underwear choices.

Opinions

  • Grant acknowledges the impracticality of keeping the underwear due to its worn-out state but is reluctant to discard it, highlighting a thrifty mindset.
  • There is a sense of humor and self-awareness in admitting that the underwear is more hole than fabric and that the situation is somewhat absurd.
  • The author's contentment with their current lifestyle suggests that they place little importance on the state of their underwear, as it does not affect their day-to-day life or potential romantic interests.
  • Grant's perspective implies that personal standards can be contextual, and certain indulgences, like purchasing new underwear, are unnecessary when one is not actively seeking romantic involvement.

Who Really Cares About My Holes?

Thoughts on my threadbare underwear

Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

There’s a hole in my knickers, Dear Liza, a hole, and bigger it grows every day.

There’s more hole than pant, and I try, but I can’t seem to throw those damn panties away.

It’s not that I’m hoarding; it’s a case of affording! To waste just a penny, I mustn’t.

And so then, I figure, “Though the whole’s getting bigger, at least there’s naught wrong with the gusset.”

No, it’s at the waistband and across the wasteland of my belly the pants are threadbare.

Should things keep up apace, it will soon be the case that my pants might as well not be there!

The hole is quite wide, and you can see inside to my milky white skin, luminescent.

They still cover my bits, yet it gives me the shits, and the fabric’s almost evansecent!

Though I should give a care ‘bout my underwear, and invest in some lingerie decent,

I can’t say I’m troubled as I live in a bubble by virtue of circumstance recent.

And as a result, I cannot exult in the thought of a dalliance sexy.

No, it is only me, then who’s likely to see them, thus I shan’t let my holey pants vex me.

Jupiter Grant is a self-published author, blogger, narrator and audiobook producer.

Inquiries and comments are always welcome. You can also find me on Twitter @GrantJupiter

Also by Jupiter;

Poetry
Humor
Lockdown
Pandemic
Underwear
Recommended from ReadMedium