How to Submit?
Fun with homonyms
The draft was polished to perfection, or at least as close as they could possibly get it, when the writer clicked on the “How to Submit” link at the top of the webpage.
Expecting information on grammar and styling, along with an email address to which to send the piece, they were baffled when the link instead brought up a random series of story links. All of them seemed to be on the same or similar theme — sex and erotica.
Confused, they clicked the first link, and found a sexy story about a man letting his partner give him explicit instructions on how she wanted him to masturbate. The writer read the story, thinking there might be some details on submission further down the page. They made it to the end of the story and, though they had found the story arousing and enjoyable to read, they hadn’t seen anything about submitting.
The next link was to a racy tale involving a woman restrained on a bed while her lover used paddles, gags, and other strange paraphernalia on her captive body. Once again, the writer couldn’t find material on how to submit.
The third link led to a poem; a rhyme about a dominating man preventing his lover from climaxing until he had given her permission to do so.
It was clear to the writer that there was a mistake; broken links or Internet gremlins had obviously led to some kind of strange mix-up. Certainly, these stories had been titillating, and had caused the writer’s pulse to race and their skin to blush.
“But I wanted to read stuff about submitting,” they grumbled before returning, none the wiser, to the homepage.
Jupiter Grant is a self published author, blogger, narrator and audiobook producer.
Enquiries and comments are always welcome. You can also find me on Twitter @GrantJupiter
Also by Jupiter:
