Liz Hurley in “Woman Has Breasts” Shocker!!

There’s nothing that Twitter loves more than a bit of outrage, and this time it’s being directed at Liz Hurley and her baps…

Twitter is in an uproar (as per usual) over a couple of photos Liz Hurley. In the snaps, 55-year-old Liz poses in the snow wearing only a white bikini bottom and a fluffy robe, opened at the front to reveal — brace yourself — a bit of boob.

"For goodness sake, you’re 55, put your clothes on,” whinged professionally-outraged windbag Piers Morgan. “She’s my age. My thought on a snow day wasn’t to run outside and strip for social media.”

Well, thank god for small mercies, Piers.

Liz Hurley is a savvy businesswoman, with her own swimwear line, “Elizabeth Hurley Beach” and as a famously gorgeous actress, former Estee Lauder model, and now a social media darling, she is a perfect advertisement for her business. Why wouldn’t she take the opportunity to market herself and, by extension, her product? Just like the rest of us, she is trapped indoors and unable to work. If she can harness some attention for her business by striking a sexy pose on social media, what’s the big deal?

Some people in the Twitterverse are outraged more by the fact that Liz’s son Damien took the photos. They opine that a young man shouldn’t be seeing his mother in such a sexualized way.

Firstly, Damien is 19 years old, a model and photographer. I’m sure he’s not naive about the existence of breasts, nor the marketability of beautiful people wearing not much clothing. But oh no, God forbid he should see his mother wearing anything other than a roll-neck sweater under a dowdy pinafore.

Secondly, Liz isn’t doing anything sexual in the photos. She’s smiling happily, with her hands remaining demurely either by her sides or holding onto the lapels of her robe. Her nether regions remain completely covered in both pictures. So what’s the issue?

Well, clearly it’s her breasts.

Women’s breasts are a particularly potent locus of hangups, outrage, and sexualization. Facebook censors pictures of women breastfeeding their babies and an exposed female nipple will incur the wrath of Instagram’s fun-bag police.

But, as Julia Roberts tells Hugh Grant (Liz’s ex) in the film Notting Hill, “they’re just breasts. Every second person in the world has them… They’re odd-looking, they’re for milk, your mother has them, you’ve seen a thousand of them. What’s all the fuss about?”

Well? What is all the fuss about?

Jupiter Grant is a self-published author, blogger, narrator, and audiobook producer.

Inquiries and comments are always welcome. You can also find me on Twitter @GrantJupiter

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