Who Masturbates More — Men or Women?

A look into self-love between the sexes

My 14-year-old son brought up the topic of masturbation to me the other day.

Proud momma over here!

Some parents might think this would be an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable conversation, especially for the kid. But I’ve always encouraged my son to talk about anything he wants or needs without fear of being judged. And he’s felt comfortable enough to — sometimes — take me up on that offer.

He’d heard somewhere — I think on a YouTube video — that masturbation has a lot of health benefits — for men.

Just so you have an idea, all of his YouTube viewing is pretty much gamer/comedians (Markiplier, Game Grumps, The Game Theorists…and on and on). Sex jokes pop up on these channels all the time (I often watch with him). So I can see where he heard some gamer dude jokingly mention how healthy it is to regularly jack off.

And in this case, the jokes are backed up by fact. Which is what I told my talkative teen as I did the dishes.

“But you know,” I said, unable to help myself, “it’s just as healthy for women too.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“You know women do it too…?”

“Yes! I know, Mom.”

“Okay, okay.” I laughed. “I just wanted to make sure you were aware. Typically men do it more often. And some people are of the attitude that women shouldn’t, for whatever reason.”

That’s the moment I’m sure the convo went into slightly awkward territory (with the elephant in the room being his mom is a woman, and therefore, by logical reasoning, also masturbates).

We ended the conversation on a good note though, with him wanting to do some more research on the health benefits for men and women.

Ah, parenthood.

Are Men Buttering Their Own Biscuit More Often?

Which of us, statistically, masturbates more?

According to a survey of over 900 Europeans and Americans, men are still masturbating more often than women. Results revealed that 96 percent of men got it on with themselves, versus 88 percent of women.

But even if you’re a woman who feels liberated and free to pleasure yourself whenever you want, chances are you don’t do it as often as, say, you’re male partner or male friends.

According to the same survey, of men and women who engage in self-pleasure, the men do so more frequently. The women of the group masturbated twice a week for an average of 13 minutes per self-love session. And the men surveyed masturbated twice as often, averaging four days per week for a duration of around 14 minutes per session.

This is really interesting to me. I find it to be true in my own marriage. I know for a fact that my husband masturbates more than I do because we openly talk about our numbers sometimes. I also know that at this point, my sex drive is such that I’m not even masturbating two times a week.

That also means I’m not reaping the health benefits. Like lower stress, better sleep quality, alleviating pain, and enhancing my mood with endorphins.

Another benefit I’m not getting? Improved sex with my husband.

Regular self-lovin’ can lead to better, more orgasmic sex when you’re with a partner. A study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research reveals that 35.1% of women who regularly orgasm during sex also masturbate, compared to 9% of women who orgasm during sex and reportedly do not masturbate.

Those who regularly practice self-pleasure have the advantage of becoming very familiar with their body and learning what things they like and don’t like. We can never discover new and exciting sensations if we don’t practice, right? And those who practice alone know how to better communicate what works well when they’re with someone else.

Touch Yourself More

So why aren’t women reaping these benefits as much as men? It’s because men’s sex drives are typically stronger than women’s — and much less complicated. A women’s libido, on the other hand, is more easily affected by outside forces such as mood, confidence level, emotional connection with her partner, her to-do list, or any other number of things.

This doesn’t speak for all women, of course. There are many couples where the man’s sex drive is lower than that of his female partner. And there are many women whose libido isn’t necessarily tied to their emotional status.

I happen to be one of those women whose libido is impacted by her mood, the way she looks, and whether or not there’s a hot and heavy emotional intensity to the moment. But, once in a while, I’ll take a vibrator to my clit whether I feel horny or not — just because I could use some of those lovely benefits.

There’s no judgment here. We’re wired the way we’re wired. As long as everyone is free to masturbate without shame, that’s what I care about.

But sometimes more health benefits are better. So don’t go too long without a little self-love.

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This story is part of Sexual Espresso, a weekly column published here on Sexual Tendencies.