Blowjobs & Butt Play
How I take his blowjob from great to mind-blowing
Recently, I got to thinking about blowjobs. For various reasons, I’ve been seriously considering my technique and how I can make them even better for my partner.
Just to be clear, I don’t usually sit around daydreaming about how I can improve my blowjobs. What working mom has time for that? And if I am thinking about sex, I’m often thinking about how to improve it for me (let’s be real here).
But there are a few different things that have been inspiring me to research men and blowjobs as of late.
- Reason number one: My hubby and I have been on an unofficial hiatus from sex. Our libidos have just been down, so I’m thinking of ways to remedy that and get us out of this dry spell.
- I just happened to recently read Emma Austin’s “10 Blowjob Techniques Not for the Faint of Heart,” wanting to see how many of those techniques I applied in my own blowjob shenanigans. (My hubby’s favorite blowjob method wasn’t on that list. And rightfully so — it’s actually not so much a technique as it is an addition).
- Finally, I’ve had blowjobs on the brain because I do actually enjoy driving my partner insane with pleasure. And so, I like to come up with ways to spice things up for him during sex play.
So, between you and me, I have a “special occasion” blowjob I give my partner every once in a while. When I can gather the energy to do it, it drives him absolutely wild.
His all-time favorite blowjob is a combination of two things: me sucking his cock while simultaneously massaging his prostate through anal play.
This method has always delivered one of the most mind-blowing orgasms my husband can possibly have. In fact, I’d say it gives him the best orgasm possible. The ultimate leg-shaking, sheet-grabbing, screaming-and-moaning kind of orgasm that will make him forget where he is.
I should probably do it more often.
Fun Ways to Stimulate the Prostate During a Blowjob
The prostate — or P-spot, as it’s often called — is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid found in ejaculate. It helps propel semen from the penis. The prostate is located about two inches inside the rectum, between the rectum and the penis. Although entering through the anus is the most direct way, you can also stimulate the prostate indirectly through the perineum, or taint. This is the skin that runs underneath the scrotum to the anus.
There are all kinds of kinky and creative ways you can stimulate your partner’s prostate while giving him oral sex.
First, you’ll need to have a conversation. Ask your partner if they’ve ever tried it, and — whether they have or haven’t — if they want to try it with you.
Once you know they’re interested, then it’s time to get ready.
Light some candles. Put on a sex music playlist. Gather all the lube you could possibly need. And get ready to drive him wild.
My guy likes to lie on his back while I kneel between his legs on the bed. I start by rubbing his cock gently in my hands and eventually teasing it with my lips and tongue.
I circle the tip of my tongue around the head of his cock, suck him, and take him into my mouth as deeply as I can. I don’t neglect his balls, making sure I massage and lick them as well.
Once I have an eventful blowjob underway, it’s time to pay some much-needed attention to his prostate while I continue to gorge on his cock.
I do this one of several ways.
A dildo. If you don’t happen to have a prostate massager on hand, you could use a dildo. My husband happens to like ones that are smaller in size, but everybody is different, right? Start small, and see if he needs more size as you experiment with it.
My finger(s). If I’m using my fingers, I like to wear a glove or cover my pointer and/or middle finger with a condom. That’s just one of my boundaries. Yes, you can cover up if it makes you more comfortable with butt stuff. And no, it’s not weird. Besides, once you’re finger-banging him like a pro while stuffing your face with his hard cock, it’s not going to make one lick of difference that your fingers are using protection. It won’t hinder his immense pleasure one bit.
Hit it from the outside. Before my partner and I got into the swing of me penetrating him anally during oral sex, I discovered how reactive he was to me massaging him on the outside of that general area. It seemed that if I even pressed against his bumhole or his taint (the area between the anus and genitals), it would intensify his pleasure while I was blowing him. Turns out, there’s a reason for that! The prostate is hiding just beneath this small patch of nerve endings, so adding pressure and massage, even from the outside, really gets their motor going.
Butt plug. I’ve used a butt plug on my man while giving him oral sex, and he was a big fan. He especially loves it when I play with the plug while it’s inside him. I take the end of it that’s sticking out and move it around or just apply some nice pressure. Sometimes, I jiggle it. And it helps if you can multi-task. Play with the butt plug with one hand, suck with your mouth, and tease the balls with your other hand. At that point, my guy is getting the best blowjob in the world, and he knows it.
Prostate massager. Visit your favorite adult toy website and search for “prostate massager.” It’s safe to say that toys aren’t just for women. We want our men to be able to experience as much pleasure as we do with a well-made toy. Maybe try giving him a prostate massager this Valentine’s Day!
Go For It!
If you are looking to spice up your sex life, prostate massage is definitely a stone that is left all too often unturned.
To the women who have never tried it: talk to your man and see if he’s interested.
To the men who might be afraid to try it: fear is okay and completely natural. But I’m telling you, every guy I’ve talked to has been into this idea.
Please understand, this doesn’t mean it’s for every guy. I just happened to talk to a lot of gentlemen who happen to be into butt play. But, from what I can gather from real-life experience, it’s a common thing. So, definitely check it out.
It’s safe to say that prostate stimulation is something a lot of guys are into. Or, would be into if they tried it.
So, as they say — don’t knock it until you try it!
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This story is part of Sexual Espresso, a weekly column published here on Sexual Tendencies.