How to Please a Woman When She’s Sitting on Your Face

A direct and erotic guide

As a woman, face-sitting is one of the most erotically charged and mentally stimulating positions I can think of. I’m sure you don’t need a definition, but I’m referring to the sex position where one partner sits on the other’s face to receive some of the hottest oral sex imaginable.

It’s a dominant position to be sure, and while it’s most commonly thought of in terms of the woman doing the sitting (queening), the sitter or sittee can be of any gender, identity, or sexuality.

In a previous article, I wrote about the ecstasy of sitting on a man’s face from my point of view of a (mostly) straight woman.

For this piece, I’ll be exploring what the man can do to make things even more pleasurable when a woman graciously mounts his face.

Make It Even Better For Her

Part of the appeal of this position is how empowering it is for the woman to be in complete control as the man services her. She’s in charge of the speed, angle, and pressure of oral sex. She decides when she wants to go soft and gentle, or grind hard against your tongue.

Trapped as you are and at your goddess’s mercy in this position, there are still things you can do to ensure you’re giving her the most effective and intense pleasure as she finds herself dripping her arousal all over your face and neck.

This is the time to focus on what’s important — her pleasure. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you want to have her writhing and screaming in ecstasy above you.

You better come hungry

You’re going to need to ravish that pussy like you’re a starving man who’s just been given a gourmet meal by a world-class chef (because basically, a woman bestowing this gift upon you is pretty much the same thing).

Devour her pussy. Savor every drop of pleasure. Lick and lap at her delicate folds like you’re tasting the sweetest honey. Drink her up like your imbibing the nectar of the gods.

Show your enthusiasm through your body language and whatever sounds you are able to make. Touch her all over the place with your hands. If she isn’t squeezing your head between her thighs too tightly, you can try moving your head back and forth to give her multiple directions of stimulation.

The point is to come at her vulva with confidence and enthusiasm. Love every moment of it, go at it with spirit, and make her feel appreciated.

It can be a very, very self-conscious position for women who are too often taught to feel like they shouldn’t be in charge of their sexual pleasure or aren’t deserving of it. Make her feel like she’s more than derserving. In fact, flip it around and make sure she knows you’re the lucky one here.

You are getting the immense pleasure of her sitting on your face, after all.

Perfect your tongue technique — and put your hands to good use

Queening allows the man to have a chance to lie back on the pillow, yes, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be relaxing in any way.

As with any cunnilingus activity, you're going to want to get that tongue into tip-top shape so you can stimulate your partner’s clitoris with speed, strength, and plenty of dexterity. And don’t forget, you can also fuck her vaginally with your tongue. It feels out of this world to have a wide, wet tongue stand at attention and quickly dive in and out of my pussy.

The fact that the woman is in control of where exactly her parts land is the best advantage in this position. She can choose whether she wants to place her clit directly on your tongue or shift the angle so that you can lick her labia or even her ass if you’re both into that idea.

So, while you may not be in charge of where you get to apply your oral skills at any given moment, you can be prepared to know how best to work each part of her with your lips, tongue, and maybe, if she so chooses, your nose.

But don’t forget, you also have hands, so use them! Even though you may be mesmerized by the incredible visual this position provides as you look up at her thighs, cunt, breasts, and face contorted in the pleasure you’re delivering — don’t forget that she wants your hands to work her too.

If she lifts up a bit so your hand can fit between her pussy and you, you can finger her as you lick her clit. You can also caress her breasts, stimulate her nipples, and massage her thighs and ass. You can play with her anus if she likes that. You can also rub her clit while you use your tongue on her labia and vaginal opening. There’s just all sorts of fun to be had.

Help support her weight

I think a woman of almost any size can engage in queening, but it’s important for her to be able to support her weight so she doesn’t suffocate you completely or injure you. A headboard or a wall is helpful for her to balance her weight. Also, not sitting all the way down right off the bat is key. She needs to be able to hold her full weight on her knees to increase or lessen the pressure as needed by lifting herself up and down in the kneeling position.

Another key help for weight distribution and balance is you. You can grip her thighs and her ass and help her lift or lower herself. This also enables you to communicate how much you want her to smash your face with her gorgeous vulva, and when she needs to lessen the weight she’s putting on you.

This is especially helpful for grinding. I love when I’m sitting on top and grinding against his tongue and lips. I love actively making myself get close, dripping all over him, and then grinding against his face hard and fast until I climax. His hands under my ass or thighs is very helpful in this endeavor.

Communicate — even if your mouth is full

One common issue people worry about with face-sitting is that the person being sat on may end up feeling crushed, hurt, or unable to breathe. Because it’s a more advanced position, and especially because your mouth will be very busy, it’s important that you’re able to communicate discomfort or pain at any time through clear communication that is discussed beforehand.

One of the simplest methods is a hand signal, like a double tap on her butt or thigh. If your hands happen to be tied up, which can be a fun option if you and your partner want to up the dominance level, you’ll have to get more creative (for example, a non-verbal vocal sound, like a series of loud grunts).

But also, feel free to communicate your pleasure. Breathe, moan, grunt, and make all the licking and slurping sounds your heart desires. Communicate with your body language that you are excited and enthusiastic. Knowing you are enjoying getting face-to-face with her most intimate and sensitive parts is a huge turn-on for her.

Enjoy The Ride

It’s all about enjoying the ride. Remember that for positions like this, which aren’t as frequent or as common, it’s important not to take things too seriously. This is about fun, pleasure, and connection. It’s about keeping things hot and exciting. Be patient and forgiving of one another. At the same time, be direct and honest about what feels good and what doesn’t. Keep an open mind, and keep communicating.

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This story is part of Sexual Espresso, a weekly column published here on Sexual Tendencies.