Who Are You?
Are you the “you” you’ve always wanted to be or the “you” as defined by your parents, your school, your church, your job or society in general?
Look in the mirror. How would you describe the person looking back at you?
Would you start with the basic physical attributes — height, weight, skin tone, ethnicity, glasses, hairstyle, wrinkles around the eyes?
Maybe you would look deeper — into the soul — for the hopes, plans, dreams, schemes, memories that created the masterpiece which is you.
Would you be looking at the person with a past — or anticipating the person with a future?
Are you the sum of your life parts up until this moment — or the open spaces, yet to be filled with the gifts, sacrifices and challenges of whatever portion of life is yet unlived?
The seventeenth century philosopher, John Locke, encouraged the somewhat controversial theory of “tabula rasa,” generally translated as “blank slate” to describe the manner in which humans enter this life — we start out clean and build upon that empty vessel with experiences and knowledge from the environment around us.
Whether you or I choose to believe in that theory or not is a matter of personal choice.
I tend to think there is a lot of influence placed on each of us early in life, before we have the ability or wherewithal to discern fact from fiction. This can work for both good and evil in the formation of an individual’s sense of self. Some of us are able to separate the valuable input we receive from the disastrous manipulations forced upon us — while others fall victim to the outside forces intent on forming cookie-cutter citizens to populate the world.
At the end of the day, I would like to believe the ultimate sculptor of my life is the person staring back at me in the mirror each day. Sure, a lot of outside input has made its way into my brain — some of it I chose to let in — some of it foisted upon me by the outside world.
It doesn’t matter. We are all citizens of planet earth. We cannot escape its pull. It’s what we do with this mega input that matters most.
Do people really change? Or are we all somewhat set on a predetermined course throughout life?
I hold to a somewhat unpopular opinion that “once a person shows you who they are, believe them.” I’m not so sure people change all that much in life. Oh, I know, there will be at least twenty-five people out there who will cite a personal history of a radical metamorphosis — if it was a change for the better, congratulations! — If it was the start of a downward spiral, I’m sorry for your luck.
Still, it’s hard for me to change my opinion, once formed, about anyone. I need to be convinced that a tiger can change its stripes — I will usually need more than one experience of a resurrected life change to believe what is before me.
Life is a harsh master. Once branded by success, failure, despair or trauma, the die is cast. There is something embedded on the psyche that cannot be washed away.
If that makes me a cynic, or an unloving, intolerant member of the human race, so be it.
You have to earn a place in the hierarchy of my life. You are an acquaintance before you are my friend. You will be held at a distance before you are drawn close. I will always wait for a positive sign before I assume you are worthy.
Full disclosure — I measure myself the same sort of yardstick.
Who am I?
There have been many positives — and a few negatives — that made up the building blocks of my life.
While I would never claim to be anywhere near to being the ideal human, I know I have been held in high esteem by people whose opinions mattered to me. I have been a valued employee, a trusted friend, a devoted lover and a reliable confidante.
I have tried hard to be an exemplary member of the human race.
I have succeeded. I have failed. I am measured by different yardsticks, depending on who is doing the measuring.
Who am I?
I am an evolving, yet stable, person. I am the same. I am different.
But, at the end of the day, I do believe, what you see is what you get.
RECENT STORIES