To Be the Best You, Have the Best Friends
Surround yourself with people who share your values.
There is a common quote from the motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, often bantered about that states — “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” While this may greatly oversimplify things, the reality is that we are all influenced by our environment — for better or for worse — and that environment definitely includes the people we choose to call “friend.” I am usually hesitant to use the label of “friend” — especially as it pertains to the vast majority of people who cross my path who should rightfully be referred to as “acquaintances.” They may be well-known acquaintances in my life, maybe having spent years in my sphere, but they are not part of my inner circle simply based on longevity.
Acquaintances are Everywhere
I people I have worked with over the years, with few exceptions, are only coworkers or acquaintances — I reserve the “friend” label for perhaps the lady I chose as my matron-of-honor and one or two others — no more. My childhood “friends” were friends for a certain period of my life. None of them remained in my circle in adulthood — nobody’s fault, life happens, people evolve. In the community where I live, I would be hard-pressed to give the label of “friend” to anyone other than my husband — the sharer of all thoughts, hopes, dreams, and schemes.
I’m not anti-social — we actually entertain quite a lot — I just don’t have the time or inclination to spend hours of my life that I will never get back exchanging small talk with anyone who stumbles across my path on my daily walk.
Choose Wisely, Time is Limited
To be the best possible me that I can be, I choose to be selective about my inner circle. I can’t afford to sacrifice the precious commodity of time for idle time spent with people who offer minimal stimulus to my life. This is a life practice I think most people would find beneficial. “Friends” are people who support and encourage you. They also challenge you to be your best. This is the idea behind exercise buddies, where your buddy motivates you to go on when every fiber of your being screams “stop.”
The same principle applies to having friends in the writing community. We give each other a sense of possibility — we all believe in the crazy dream that we will, one day, write the words that impact someone, somewhere, for the betterment of all. We support each other when that crazy dream seems like more of a dream than any possible hope for reality. Friends aren’t casual. Friends are significant. They give meaning to our lives. They provide input that makes us better people. They should be chosen with care, not casual indifference. The best friends add value to our life, as we add value to their lives, as well. The loss of a true “best friend” leaves a hole behind that cannot be filled by any, or all, of the multitude of acquaintances that cross our path after that.
If you fill too much of your life with acquaintances, at the expense of valuable and enriching experiences with friends, you stand to lose too much precious time that you can never get back.
