Am I Really Expected to be Perfect All the Time?

Mistakes, missteps and outright bad decisions are part of the learning process — aren’t they?

I try to get it right — every time. I really do. When I write, I want to create a post that will astound the world with my wit, wisdom and understanding. When I experiment in my kitchen, I want to create a mouth-watering, memorable meal that will have my dinner guests raving about my dinner party for years to come. When I visit friends and family, I would love to impress them with my lively, comedic personality.

I would really like to be perfect all the time.

Based on the absolute nature of that statement — I am a dismal failure.

Some of my writing never sees a completed draft. Some of it gets wiped off the screen in a burst of frustration and an angry huff. Some of it proves to be more embarrassing than inspiring.

It’s never perfect — at least, not perfectly perfect.

And yet I continue to write.

Some of my recipes — especially new, experimental ideas are — at best, uninspired and relatively tasteless — at worst, they are inedible.

To be fair, most of my culinary escapades are very palatable, just not always world-class events as I fantasize they could be.

And yet I continue to cook.

At family gatherings or outings with friends, I am occasionally bored or boring. I even feel asleep once while listening to a dreadful monologue by a long-winded family member.

I suspect others may have reacted to me the same way from time to time.

And yet I continue to socialize.

I don’t want to be mediocre, really I don’t. I don’t think I put forth a weak effort in anything I do. Sure, I may get mediocre results — but that’s not by design. I try to be enthusiastic, informed, prepared and educated before I jump into any project or situation with both feet.

While it may be true that I find more fault with myself than most people find with me (this is true of most people since everyone worries more about themselves and their own issues than they ever concern themselves with the minutiae of others), I can’t help but wonder when my personal track record will start to show significant improvement (by my personal standards gauge).

Am I really expected to be perfect all the time?

Well, who exactly is keeping score?

Every writing project I produce is met with a variety of levels of both criticisms and accolades. It changes from one project to the next, but a poorly received posting today doesn’t seem to indicate tomorrow’s work will not please the reading crowd. Every day gives me a fresh start. Every day offers new results.

My dinner guests eagerly return every time I announce a dinner party. No one ever mentions a burnt chicken casserole or a dried out steak from previous meals. They are always hunger and ready to see what concoction I’ve come up with next.

I have never been ostracized by friends and family based on past conversations or ho-hum evenings or holiday gatherings — not even after the time I fell asleep. We are all hungry for fellowship and communication — without judgement.

“Perfection” doesn’t really exist.

At least, not on a consistent basis. There may be moments of excellence — more for some people than for others — but the human condition is really more about showing up and participating in every level of life than it is about getting it right every step of the way.

While I try to attack every experience in my life with the anticipation of giving — and receiving — 100%, I must be realistic and be content with my best effort. That’s not so bad. If I was never willing to accept the possibility of failure — or, at least, a third rate level of accomplishment

• I might never be willing to stretch myself and try something new
• I might not be willing to try something harder and requiring more effort
• I might not be willing to try anything at all.

Failure is usually a stepping stone to accomplishment.

Failure isn’t the opposite of success — rather, success is made up of a whole batch of incremental steps. Some of those may be “perfect,” others may be “failures,” most are a mix of positive and negative elements, all meshing together to produce an end result.

No, I’m not perfect all the time — but I am perfectly willing to show up again tomorrow and make a good effort — and accept the consequences.

RECENT STORIES