THE HOOKUP SERIES

Which Gay Hookup Site Do You Use?

A Quick Review Of Six Sites and Apps

If you’re a gay, single guy like me, chances are you’re checking out the hookup sites daily.

If you’re married or partnered, you may be looking at them as well! (I know. I see you.)

I bet you look at them even more than Facebook!

Speaking of Facebook, they have a dating app for men looking for men. (Why then are there so many women showing interest in me?) In my opinion, it’s lame, and I wouldn’t recommend it.

But I’m not writing about dating sites and apps. I’m talking about hookup sites — the places we look for “tricks,” as we once called hookups. We need to revive the word trick!

Honestly, there are more hookup sites for gay men than you can shake a stick at. (Does anyone say that anymore?)

I choose to only subscribe to one hookup site per quarter. This shit can spin out of control quite quickly.

For this article, I’ll focus on what seem to be the top sites/apps for the city in which I live. However, I know there are many others. So clue me in with a response! Although I don’t know how many of them we can keep up with.

Grindr

Grindr might just be all you need. Launched in 2009, it’s the go-to app for gay men of all types. It’s the world’s largest, and no matter where you are, it seems to have the most “prospects.” In addition, it was the first location-based app that gives you an idea of how close you are to “him.” This can be both weird (he may be sitting next to you in a restaurant) or advantageous (he may be sitting next to you in a restaurant).

You could just send a “tap” expressing interest to attract a guy, but many won’t respond to them. So it’s better to man up and send a real message.

Full-on nudity is not allowed. (The way around that is to send your nudes via private messenger.) There is no web-based version of Grindr. When I’m at home, I’m on the “big screen” with apps that have websites open. Next to it, I’ll have Grindr open on the phone. There is no way to search for specific users. There are three levels to which you can subscribe:

• Grindr — This is the basic, free subscription — Economy class. I found the number of ads and pop-ups annoying, so I upgraded to:
• Grindr Xtra: The “Premium Economy” version gives you a few more bells and whistles and no ads. You can view up to the closest 600 profiles to you. If you live in a densely populated city, that won’t take you far. I found that it will show me men up to about six miles from my location in Albuquerque. (I had no idea there were this many men interested in men in Albuquerque!) Therefore, this disqualifies those living in Rio Rancho, the city’s only suburb and the state’s third-largest city. After six miles, the profiles are blurred out. The rate for three months is $39.99.
• Grindr Unlimited — You got it: First Class. Infinity. All of the above and more! Three months of all-access will set you back $79.99.

SCRUFF

Whereas Grindr seems to be the catch-all for gay men from all walks of life, SCRUFF tends to be a bit more upscale — corporate, if you will. But still, smut is smut! Their website claims they’re the “top-rated” app for the community but doesn’t state the ranking source.

I’ve noticed that flight attendants seem to prefer SCRUFF. They’re always happy to meet you in their hotel room, but ironically, they can’t “travel.”

There is no nudity on SCRUFF, but they take it a step further: you can’t even show your ass.

SCRUFF’s version of “I’m attracted to you but don’t want to write a message right now, or am shy, or just flirting” is by sending a “woof,” which appears as a canine paw. SCRUFF users seem to like receiving woofs, unlike Grindr’s taps. You usually receive thank you’s for giving them!

Their “who’s viewed you” feature is the Spirit Airlines of the hookup sites that I frequent. You can only see your viewers from the past week. A subscription to SCRUFF PRO will give you unlimited viewership.

SCRUFF’s basic (free) version is pretty limiting. While Grindr’s Xtra will take you about 6 miles out, SCRUFF’s will only take you three. Expand it to unlimited with SCRUFF PRO, which is $39.99 for three months.

Adam4Adam

Their free version is the most robust free app I’ve seen. But you have to deal with ads and pop-ups, which can become obtrusive.

Maybe because it has more capabilities and reach with the free version, it draws some sketchy types. Don’t expect a lot of substance! While the mobile-based profile photo cannot include nudity, the web-based version can. Profiles are more extensive on A4A than the others mentioned here.

There doesn’t seem to be a limit on how far out you can search from your base. This is a plus, especially if you plan to travel to another city. Conversations are kept for ten days, and you can save up to 200 of them.

A4A features a function to search for another user by their handle — this seems to be unique to any of the free apps mentioned so far. So write down those handles, gentlemen — you know how easy they are to forget!

But the most annoying thing you get with A4A is a ton of messages from miscellaneous men (or bots) who live halfway around the world and are only looking for a relationship (or a green card). Many say they are “in the military on a peacekeeping mission in (name a country).” The descriptions of what they’re looking for are so tender. Don’t be tempted! Delete!

The VIP subscription comes in at $25 for three months, so a good value compared to Grindr and SCRUFF. You’ll get the ad-free version, and the conversation list is unlimited. I wouldn’t bother with the PRO subscription at $75 for three months. It seems to be reserved for those in “the profession,” so to speak.

Here are three more sites/apps I use to a lesser degree but which could still become your primary:

Sniffies: This is a map-based hookup app, also available in a web version. It displays a map showing where guys are located, along with their picture and their stats. Some use the app as “Anonymous,” so you can’t see their photos or stats. If users are online, they’re on the map of your area. Sniffies displays cruising areas and if anyone is there, and groups that are forming. You can put a lot of information about your likes, fetishes, etc., in your profile. Nudity is allowed in profile pictures, so you’ll see a lot of dick and ass upfront. The free version seems to deliver almost everything you’d want. “The art of cruising meets the elegance of modern technology,” they say!

Squirt.org: Squirt.org is the only other site I tend to peruse. It’s an oldie, being around since 1999. As such, it tends to have a lot of older users — and those who like older. Squirt.org doesn’t have an app, so you’ll need to use your browser on your phone to create the link. Users can feature their own or favorite videos on their profiles that anyone can play and squirt to. The number of chats and emails you can send in a day is pretty limited, so you might want to consider the “Fan Club” subscription. Prices vary, but I received a 40% discount on a 6-month subscription when I signed up.

GROWLr: GROWLr claims to be “the complete social networking app for gay bears.” So bears and daddies are the primary users, as well as those who love them. It’s been a while since I have used GROWLr, but I still have the app on my phone. (I just looked at it — I have some messages to tend to!) GROWLr’s PRO version will set you back $23.99 for three months.

Notes/Disclaimers: The opinions expressed are entirely my own. This is not an exhaustive list of all gay men’s hookup sites! The rates mentioned were in effect as of 2/21/2022. There is a lot more out there, and I encourage you to explore!

Perhaps you’d like to see some of my other work in Prism & Pen:

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