Summary

The article discusses the prevalence and nature of sexual activity among gay men compared to straight men, exploring personal anecdotes, societal perceptions, and various studies to address the question of whether gay men have more sex than their straight counterparts.

Abstract

The author delves into the intriguing question of whether gay men have more sex than straight men, sharing personal experiences and observations from living in a gayborhood and frequenting gay bars with "back rooms" for sex. The article examines the author's theory that gay men may serve as a population control mechanism due to their perceived higher levels of sexual activity, referencing the Kinsey reports and other studies that suggest a significant percentage of men have had same-sex experiences. Despite the abundance of hookup sites and the ease of sexual encounters in the gay community, the evidence remains inconclusive, with statistics showing varying percentages of exclusively homosexual men and the frequency of their sexual encounters. The author concludes that while it's difficult to determine exact numbers, the question itself highlights the complexities of human sexuality and the fluidity of sexual roles and norms.

Opinions

The author admits to a personal fascination with the question of whether gay men have more sex than straight men, despite recognizing that it might not matter.
There is a perceived expectation from straight friends for the author to share details about his sexual escapades, which he attributes to a stereotype of gay men's sexual behavior.
The author posits a theory that gay men are nature's way of controlling overpopulation, though he acknowledges it is not based on scientific evidence.
The article suggests that gay men may find it easier to have sex due to the culture within gay communities and the availability of hookup sites, as well as the author's own experience in Chicago's Boystown.
The author critiques the societal norm that women's sexuality is less discussed and more constrained compared to men's, particularly in the context of sexual fluidity.
Citing various studies, the author presents a range of statistics on the percentage of men who are exclusively homosexual and the number of sexual partners among gay and straight men.
The article implies that the frequency of sex among gay men might be higher due to biological factors and the absence of gender-specific sexual roles that are typically found in heterosexual relationships.
The author highlights the diversity of sexual activity based on factors such as religion, race, smoking and drinking habits, and even artistic inclinations, suggesting that these factors could influence one's sexual frequency.
The conclusion reiterates the complexity of measuring sexual activity and the arbitrary nature of trying to quantify human sexual behavior, while also emphasizing the fluidity and diversity within sexual orientations.

Do Gay Men Have More Sex Than Straight Men?

Is it true what they say?

Looks like a hookup to me. Photo by Shutterstock

Personal Observations

I don’t know why I have always been so intrigued by this question. Does it matter?

My straight friends get a kick from hearing about my sexual escapades. But why do I feel a need to tell them about the most intimate aspects of my life? Sometimes I think they expect it of a gay guy. Some seem fascinated, while others go into a state of disbelief. It can be shocking to them. But, on the other hand, maybe they want to live vicariously through me.

Please don’t!

Sex doesn’t seem to be something my straight friends talk about. Is it because they don’t see it as appropriate conversation? Or is it because they aren’t getting any?

When a group of gay guys are together, you can bet most of the conversation will be about sex. I keep thinking that we talk about it to appear as if we’re putting ourselves into a pecking order: the haves and the have-nots. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Still, I am curious.

I don’t know if gay men have more sex than straight men, so I decided to look and see if there was any conclusive evidence that would answer this question. It does seem we are an oversexed lot. My perception anyway.

The evidence doesn’t support the statement, but I wanted to share what I learned with you.

Though I was in denial of it and had never acted on the impulses, I guess I’ve always been gay. I came out after thirteen years of marriage and two kids.

I always wanted kids but not necessarily marriage.

I’m glad I didn’t continue the charade past 40. I still had my youth. I’ve always looked about ten years younger than my chronological age (thanks, Mom and Dad!), and my first two boyfriends were in their 20s.

I didn’t know much about gay life, so I just went out to the bars like all the other guys were doing. As I became more ingrained in the community, I was shocked at how much sex everyone seemed to be having.

As a gay man, it was so much easier to get sex. Chicago was the Midwest hub of gayness, and I lived near Boystown. My intuition developed quickly, as did my gaydar. After about three minutes of talking to a guy in a bar, I found that I’d know if we were going to have sex. With a woman, it might take hours, or worse, you’d have to go through the whole dating dance.

To my surprise, you didn’t even have to leave some bars to have sex. “Back rooms” were available at the Cellblock, Jackhammer, and Touche.

But enough about me.

Theory

Living in Chicago and because I barely left the neighborhood except for work, it seemed like an abundance of men were gay. That stands to reason, as I lived in a “gayborhood.” But I began to wonder why there were so many gay men in the world and came up with a theory. (You are free to laugh at my expense.)

It goes back to overpopulation, which I broached in a recent article. Learning that up to 10% of the male population is gay, I figured that gay men were created to keep the population in check. Knowing how much sex gay men have, babies would be everywhere — and likely many fatherless children if they had it with women.

This theory has no basis in anything. But it is a train of thought. Ridiculous? Maybe. Give me another reason!

How Many of us are Exclusively Homosexual?

In researching this story, I first found many articles with the consensus being that gay men and straight men have about the same amount of sex. There were also myriad articles addressing the extent to which straight men have had same-sex relations.

That is likely the case. Over the years of “trolling” the Internet, there are plenty of straight men who are looking for sex with gay or bi men.

This should come as no surprise. The landmark Alfred Kinsey studies of 1948 and 1953 (which included 5,300 white males)found that 37% of males had at least three overt homosexual experiences to orgasm.

While that seems to be a higher number than I was thinking, again, look at the hookup sites.

Later, Paul Gebhard, a Kinsey research associate and later director of the institute reanalyzed the data to eliminate sample bias. He estimated that 4% of white, educated males were predominantly or exclusively homosexual.

Once again, the data was reexamined, separating non-institutionalized males and females. They found that 9.9% of the males in the college sample had extensive homosexual experience.

In looking at 13 different studies online, the number of men who were exclusively homosexual read like this: 7%, 1.3%, 20.3%, 3.7%, 6%, 9%, 4%, 9%, 5.3%, 6.5%, 2.3%, 8% and 3%. Using these numbers only, the average comes to 6.6%.

In one survey (Binzon, Michaels, Stull, Coates, Gagman, and Catania [1995]), the highest prevalence of homosexual identification among men was in the central cities of the nation’s largest metropolitan areas. They found that number to be 14.4%, and among all highly-educated white males, 10.8%.

There seem to be more statistics available that speak to the amount of sex gay men have compared to gay women. This could be because women tend to be more fluid in their sexuality than men. In one large study, 59% of gay women had had sex with opposite-sex partners, while only 39% of the men had. Women can also have sex together without being construed as being gay. Men are slotted into more traditional, inflexible sexual roles and norms.

So who’s getting the most booty?

One grain of evidence goes back to the Kinsey Institute studies, which found homosexual and bisexual men have more (sexual) partners than heterosexual men.

“Gay men tend to have more sex than straight men because gay male sex involves two people who are biologically more likely to have more sex than women are.” --Debbie Herbenick, Kinsey Institute sexual health educator

Hmmm.

According to a study by “Relationships in America,” three percent of homosexual men have had more than 50 sexual partners, while 30% of gay men have had more than 50.

Here is yet another picture. In an international survey conducted by Harris Interactive for the Durex Condom Company, 53% of Americans claimed to have sex once a week. That’s an average of straight and gay.

Statistics from various other studies (published in The Daily Beast) showed the following:

Jews and Agnostics are 20% more sexually active than Catholics and Protestants.
People in Miami claim to have sex an average of 102 times per year. At the low end of the scale was Minneapolis/St. Paul at 64 times per year.
Blacks have 8.2% more sex than Caucasians.
Smokers are 10% more sexually active than non-smokers. People who drink are 20% more sexually active than non-drinkers.
People who smoke and drink are 200% more sexually active than those who do neither. (Maybe that’s why I’m not a quitter.)
Twenty-two percent more homosexual male couples together for two years or less have sex at least three times a week compared to heterosexual couples.
Jazz lovers are 36% more sexually active than the average American
Artists and poets have as many as 233% more sexual partners than people who aren’t artists and poets.

The moral of the story: for more sex, be or do the above!

Conclusion

This is anything but a scientific survey, but it gives you an idea. We’re never going to know the exact percentage of how many people are exclusively gay. Nor will we know exactly who is having the most sex. There seems to be no end to the number of hookup sites targeted at gay and straight men.

My money is on 10%: about 10% of all men have had same-sex relations or are exclusively homosexual. But if straight men are also having sex with gay men, guess who wins the question?

Sources for this story include:

Here are a couple more stories from Prism & Pen you may enjoy:

About Those Gay Hookup Sites

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

medium.com

When You Know You’re Gay

You have to try it to know

medium.com

Like what you see? Become a member of Medium and read all of my stories, as well as those of thousands of fine writers for just pennies a day ($5/month to be exact). I’ll receive a small portion. Just use the link below, and thanks for reading!

Join Medium with my referral link - Arthur Keith

As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…

artsma57.medium.com