BATTLE OF THE SEXES
When It’s Hot Mom Gets Hotter
A mother needs validation that she still has what it takes
I can’t believe you’re wearing those shorts in public Mom! I turn around to see a Caucasian teenage girl of about fifteen years of age trailing her mother and not looking very happy. They have just gotten out of one of those large Chevy soccer mom SUVs.
Her mother has some cutoff jean shorts on that barely cover her important parts and I mean barely. Not to miss a good battle of the sexes starring mom and teenage daughter, I stop and hold the door open to my favorite discount chain dollar store for the pair. The mother shakes her head in an annoyed fashion, smiles at me, and thanks me for holding the door. The teenage daughter glares at me and mumbles something as she looks back at me.
I have on sunglasses and utilize my years of expressionless, straight-ahead, beach, and pool nonchalant techniques. Well, I now know that the mom's barely covered important parts do not apply to the mom's backside. Cheeks are peeking out on both sides of mom's jean shorts.
The young daughter is no longer concerned with me as she sees the guy stocking the snack aisle miss the shelf and drop some chips on the floor. I also notice that the guy stacking the name-brand colas nudges his helper to turn around and take a look at mom’s long-tanned legs and butt cheeks peek-a-booing out of those tight cutoff shorts.
The snack vendor looks at me and shakes his hand like it touched something hot. The teenager looks back and catches him doing it and frowns.
They head over to the school supplies aisle and then the fun really begins. The daughter apparently snaps a picture of her mother's shorts and states that she just forwarded it to her dad. Mom screams something unintelligible and off she goes toward the door with the teenage daughter following. I notice they have nothing in their hands.
Mom stops at the checkout line I’m standing in and tells me “She thinks she's the mother and I’m the daughter. I’m not dealing with this today!”
The beverage vendor looks over at me and the snack vendor and says, “I wish all my days could be like this.”
Well Toni Crowe, I had a ringside seat to observe the hoochie momma shorts at the dollar store. Guess where I do most of my shopping?
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Thank you Andrew Rodwin for the assistance.
