When I Was 19, I Lost $70,000 In One Day. Here Are My Honest Takeaways

“Close your eyes until you’re 29”

Close your eyes until you’re twenty-nine.

This Gary Vaynerchuk’s quote echoed in my mind.

I was 19, sitting on the couch at my Moscow apartment, watching the same YouTube video for the third time. I thought that if I listen to it enough times, it’s wisdom will imprint on the inside of my brain.

Don’t hurry. You’re still too young. The slowest wins the race. Be patient.

I’ve heard this advice many times, but I never felt it. Not until the late fall of 2017.

Young people rush things. They are insecure, and they want quick success. And we’re not to blame — everywhere we look, we see examples of 18-year-old millionaires.

And then, of course, Lambos on Instagram.

It took me a long time to learn that all good things in life come slowly.

Two days before it happened, I was sitting at a business conference in Portugal, bored to death. The conference sucked. My girlfriend and I just started dating, and I knew she was in Rome on vacation. I bought a one-way ticket from Portugal to see her.

The next day, I woke up in a white apartment in Rome. While she was still sleeping, I crawled outside of bed — careful not to wake her — and made my way to the kitchen.

I opened my laptop and logged on to the cryptocurrency trading platform website.

Click, click.

My heartbeat stopped.

White letters on the black background said grimly:

Current balance: $0.

The day before, it was $70,000.

I lost it all in one night.

‘Close Your Eyes Until You’re Twenty Nine’

Among all of the advice for young people I’ve heard, this one falls in the top-1% category. Gary said, “Don’t rush things. You’re still too young.”

You can literally pick your nose for 7 years after graduation, wake up, and still be young as fuck.

That’s the beauty of youth: you have time.

Nobody forced me to create that fund and to take those risks — so early in life. But I did. Heck — nobody forced me to drop out of college. But I wanted to prove something to my parents.

I was young, ambitious, and arrogant.

And while I don’t regret most of the things I’ve done in the past four years- dropping out of college was the best decision I’ve made — I still believe that there’s no need to rush things.

Life is not a bus trip. There are no stops or milestones. And becoming a millionaire by 25 is complete bullshit.

You Can’t Achieve Your Way To Confidence.

After I dropped out of college in 2017 and worked for six months at my father’s company, I decided to set up a cryptocurrency fund with my partner (a school friend).

Bitcoin was growing. Life was good. And for many months, we enjoyed stable growth of our fund, to much delight of our investors — people twice our age.

When I think about why I created that fund, it’s obvious to me: I rushed.

I was looking for a quick way to “solve the money problem.” I was insecure, and I was trying — like most twenty-year-olds — to achieve my way to security.

I didn’t know then that it works the other way around: you first become confident, happy, and fulfilled. And then you achieve great things.

Money is always a by-product.

Everything Will Take Time

Losing that $70,000 is first and foremost, a lesson in patience.

But even though you’ve got leverage on your hands, the fundamental truth still stays intact: you need to be patient.

You can’t hope for a lucky break. Luck is an attitude, of course, but it’s not within your control. All you can control is consistent, sustainable effort.

When I started writing on Medium six months ago, I had no hope or agenda. I just told myself, I would come up with something valuable each day for my readers to read. I have to this day, and my patience is slowly starting to pay dividends.

When I launched my video production business a couple of months after my fund went bankrupt, I only started to see any success after two years of operation.

Things take time. It will take time. When you’re young, you’re impatient, almost by definition. You’ve lived so little of life — two years is 10% of your whole life at twenty — you can’t imagine doing anything for that long.

But it’s what separates successful people from unsuccessful.

Audit Yourself Before You Make Commitments

If you are not doing it solely for the money, don’t do it part-time. And no matter what you do, don’t invest part-time. Half-assing your way to investing is a sure way to lose everything.

There’s no point in starting something and doing a bad job at it. Do only what you can do. Redefine what you do until it’s true.

I wasn’t an investor when I raised that money. I was just interested in crypto trading. And that was one of the major reasons for my failure, I didn’t have the right expertise, knowledge or maturity. I was 19.

When I look at 20-year-old startup founders, I can’t understand what they’re doing. Having a startup at twenty is like having kids: too early.

There is a right time for everything.

Becoming a Pro Will Take Decades Of Practice

The reason it’s important to spend time identifying what you want to do for a living (i.e., what your passion is), is because you’ll be stuck doing that — hopefully — for the rest of your life.

And I say “hopefully” because the more you do something, the better you become.

Forget about “Medium writers” for a second. Think about a 50–60-year-old writer, who has 20–30 years of daily practice under their belt — someone like Neil Gaiman, or Ursula Le Guin.

Imagine being a pro like that.

It’s Never Too Late If You’re Serious About It

When I launched that crypto fund and fundraised more than $100,000, I was chasing the hype. I thought that in success, being in the right place, at the right time, is all that matters.

And while that may be true, you don’t want to be doing things that have timing as their main priority.

You want to create things that take as much time as you need. You’re finished when you think you’re finished, not when the “tide changes.”

Hype comes and goes. But mastery stays.

Instead of obsessing over whether it’s too late to get into Amazon selling, or Medium blogging, or Bitcoin investing — focus and commit to it for a long time.

As one successful Amazon entrepreneur recently told me, “Like with everything in life, if you’re serious about it — do it. If not, don’t even bother starting.”

If you don’t like the girl, don’t date her. If you’re not committed to losing weight, ditch the gym.

But if you’re committed, it doesn’t matter whether you’re “late” or not by other people’s standards. Just be the last one to quit.

You’re Not Missing Out On Anything

When you’re young and ambitious, it often seems that you’re missing out on something important. FOMO is my constant companion, too.

You look around, and you see all those startup founders, writers, bloggers — and you, well, you have a college degree, right?

Don’t compare yourself with anybody, but yourself. All that matters is whether you’re better today than you were yesterday.

There is no plan that you should stick to. Nobody is timing your success, and nobody is waiting for you to shine. Not yet, anyway.

When I raised that money, I was so desperate to prove myself, that I bit off more than I can chew.

Listen to Kevin Kelly’s advice, and waste time, explore your opportunities when you’re twenty. Don’t optimize prematurely.

And just make yourself happy, instead of chasing the glory.

I slammed my laptop shut. I put on my running shoes, headphones, and rushed out of the apartment.

On my way out, I heard my girlfriend say, “Where are you going?” but I couldn’t answer. I needed time to be alone. I needed time to process things.

I ran towards the river Tiber in Rome. It was late fall, but most leaves were still on the trees. They were yellow. I was running and not thinking about anything in particular.

I had only one question in my head, “Why?!”

Why did I make this mistake?

Why did I take such a risk?

Why?!

I turned on the Metallica not to hear myself think. I didn’t think — not yet — about how I am going to deal with the loss, and what consequences it would have.

I ran faster and faster, the river flowing beneath me on my right, and I couldn’t feel either fatigue or pain. I started to cry.

But looking back, I realize that I needed that lesson to become the man I am today.

And if I could go back in time now and talk to myself before I created the fund, I’d say, “Close your eyes until you’re 29.”