Starting a Startup Is Like Having Kids — Don’t Do It When You’re Twenty
The longer you delay starting a company, the more likely you’ll succeed.
I stopped consuming Gary Vaynerchuk’s content long ago. At one point, I felt like I overgrew it and had to stop telling myself that I “should hustle.”
Today though, as I was downloading another podcast on writing and self-publishing, I stumbled upon one of his recent episodes — “Advice For 20-Year-Old Entrepreneurs”.
And I thought to myself: “Wow, that’s odd… why would anyone want to start a big company at 20?”
Of course, I didn’t think that way all the time.
I Started My First Business When I Was 19
I had a series of “business attempts” since 16. None of them worked out. The first business profit came when I was 19 from a video production agency, which I started with a 30-year-old movie director.
It was fun. I learned a great deal from that experience.
But I quit that business last year and moved to another country to start writing.
When I look back and think about why I started a business at 19, I realize that I bought in the “early startup myth”: that everyone should become a successful entrepreneur, the earlier — the better.
The “early startup myth” is reinforced by content from gurus all over the web, who tell you:
Don’t be stupid! Don’t be lazy! Go and launch your own business.
Open any business magazine (Fast Company, Wired, Entrepreneur), and you’ll be flooded with an endless stream of stories about 18-year-old millionaires.
When you are 18–22 years old, and you’re looking at these stories, it’s easy to feel like a failure. It’s easy to start doubting yourself and have FOMO.
But the “early startup myth” is just that — a myth.
Why Startups Are a Scam
You’re being scammed.
I’ve been around startups and entrepreneurship my whole life. My father graduated from Stanford MBA and used to be a successful entrepreneur in Russia. His friends all founded the top-20 IT companies in my country.
I’ve seen what it’s like to build a big IT company from 0 more times than I can remember.
But as I look around content in this sphere, all I see is:
You can build a million-dollar business! Be like Zuckerberg! It’s easy.
And it’s a lie. You can’t, and it’s hard.
A startup is like a lottery in this sense. Everyone wants to be Elon Musk, but only 0.001% of people will. You can increase your chances if you keep on trying, but it’s unlikely that you’ll grow a business to the size of Amazon.
It makes sense to lower your expectations, and to ask yourself: “Are startups my thing?” — if the answer is no, then do something else.
In today’s “passion economy,” it’s so easy to find how to make money doing something you love. You don’t have to be part of the startup herd and take those risks.
If the answer is yes, though, then keep going.
Sometimes the difference between winning and losing is just not quitting.
Just don’t do it at twenty.
What You Can Learn From Larry Page
One of the best blog articles (and speeches) I’ve read recently was Paul Graham’s “Before the Startup.”
TL;DR: Don’t start a startup while you’re in college; spend time exploring and experimenting. You’ll have time to build a company later.
Most people look at Larry Page (Google’s co-founder) and think to themselves, “Oh, I wish to be just like him…” — but is that so?
Larry started Google in his twenties. To him, his life resembles an ultra-marathon: he started running when he was young, and he hasn’t stopped to catch his breath since.
Zuckerberg can’t backpack around Thailand as easily as a twenty-year-old with no commitments can do.
Just because you can start a company at 18–22, it doesn’t mean you should. The company will eat up most of your energy and attention resources, which you could have spent doing something more valuable.
Like what?
Learning. Travel. Being creative. Loving.
Or, as Kevin Kelly famously said, “Goofing off and wasting time.”
Having a startup is very much like having a kid. You don’t want to do it at twenty.
Starting a Startup Vs. Having a Kid
- It requires commitment. You have to give everything you’ve got, and your full attention. You can’t half-ass it.
- It requires money — either your money or OPM (Other People’s Money): from investors or banks. Kids and startups are expensive.
- It requires brains (and maturity). But most importantly, both startups and kids need high-quality management. It might be romantic to watch “Social Network” or read about Steve Jobs being a lawless artist, but the reality is different. Starting a startup is hard — it’s better to do it when you’re mature.
My parents had me when they were just 20. That’s two years younger than I am now. But that was the norm in Russia back then.
My dad also started his first company then. And then, another one at 25. And another one at 27. And many more after that. My childhood resembles a never-ending roller-coaster — one year having the money to vacation in Spain for a few months, and not being able to buy a winter coat next year.
When I look at my life now: no money, no savings, full of creativity, ideas, and ambition — I can’t imagine having a kid.
It would crush me. I need the time and energy to take care of myself first before (and if) I have kids.
The same with starting a company. I can’t imagine starting a company now — when I still have a debt to pay, things to learn, and a network to build.
I want to have kids someday. And I want to build a big company one day. Just not now. I want to spend time learning from mentors, thinking about ideas, figuring myself out.
And really, what’s the rush?
Time plays on your side. The longer you delay having both kids and startups — the more probability that you’ll succeed at both.
The Scariest Part Is That You Can Succeed
When you listen to gurus preaching success and giving out advice, it’s easy to fall in the trap of thinking that you need to live the same way.
The problem with “Advice to 20-year-old entrepreneurs” is in the advice itself.
If you follow Gary Vaynerchuk’s advice to “hustle” and start a company at 19, you can fail, go bankrupt, and ruin your life. Gary doesn’t care because he doesn’t have the “skin in the game.”
What worked for Gary, what will work for you, and what works in general — are three different things.
The problem is not failing. That’s not so bad, especially if you’re young. The worst thing that can happen is that you end up broke and smart. And that’s, as Paul Graham jokes, “roughly what you get from a solid graduate program.”
The problem is in succeeding too early.
If you start a company at 20 and succeed, it will consume your life. You’ll miss out on the benefits of youth: the travels, the dates, the partying, the ability to binge-read ten books on a non-practical topic or travel around Europe for a month.
Plus, you might hit the ceiling too quickly. How many famous actors who became teenage stars went on to receive Oscars in their middle ages? Except for DiCaprio, not many.
Life Has Seasons
Lesson from nature: it doesn’t rush, yet everything is accomplished. It’s not me you should be quoting; it’s Lao Tzu.
I’ve said this before, but I love this metaphor.
When you’re twenty-something, you’re in your Spring stage of life that lasts until you’re 30. That’s the time to learn, explore, build the foundation for your future.
The next stage — 30–60 years, is Summer. That’s when you build.
And finally, if you did everything right in your first two stages of life, the last act (60+) is when you reap the harvest. It’s the Fall stage of your life.
Whenever I get FOMO or jealous of 18-year-old millionaires from Fast Company, I remind myself of this wisdom.
And so should you.
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