What Period Cramps Feel Like
With a tangible analogy
If you clicked into this article, you either fall into the category of:
- Someone who doesn’t have period cramps and wants to find out what it’s truly like
- Someone who does have period cramps but understand that there are so many different experiences possible out there that it’s always interesting to hear about one more.
Number two is important to acknowledge because I’m going to start out with the preface that my period cramps are actually probably average to below average on the pain scale. I don’t contend with debilitating cramps that incapacitate me, confining me to bed monthly.
And for that alone, I speak from a fortunate place.
That being said, my cramps are still there, and I want to best illustrate what they feel like using a tangible metaphor.
Imagine if you had a child. This child jabs you with their tiny child index finger in the gut every 3 to 5 minutes. The jab kinda hurts but it doesn’t hurt enough to make you scream or anything. It’s just a small jab that’s about the same pain level as a pinch, if your teething baby bit you briefly, thinking you were a teething toy.
It’s not the magnitude of pain that bothers you. It’s that whenever you’re doing anything, you’re interrupted mid-task by this unsolicited jabbing, one that doesn’t hurt that much (as you are reminded repeatedly), but one that’s enough to distract you, just for a brief second.
You’re in a meeting? This random child comes out of nowhere and jabs you in the gut. Focus, focus, focus. It’s just a “small jab”.
You’re trying to get into the writing flow? Jab, jab, jab. Just when you think you’re getting into the writing groove, this child comes sneakily into your room and nabs you right in the torso.
All. Day. Long.
The thing is, the fortunate aspect of having said period (and thus the period cramps) in the first place is it is a clear indication that I am not about to create a real child, in the flesh, jabbing me at unexpected intervals.
It is my body telling me that I am not having a child this month, creating the same experience of having an unruly child. Thank you — I guess?
Lucy (The Egg Girl) would like to unsubscribe from period cramps, thank you very much. She would like to subscribe to more hilarious pieces from Jennie Young like: “Adjunct Professor Or Woman Dating A Dude Who Won’t Commit: Who Said It”. Lucy also writes poems about food (food is bae), poems about activist self-care, articles with life hacks for upcycling household items.
She thinks you should submit your next piece of poetry to her new publication, 🧠The Brain is a Noodle 🍜! Make poetry fun.
