What Makes Me Skip Your Story

Any of these 5 things will get me out of your story within 10 seconds

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to overlook your work, but it happens. It’s not because it’s poorly written or not well-crafted; however, there’s more to writing an engaging story than what meets the eye.

I’m sure it looks great from where you stand because we put so much of ourselves into the stories we write.

But what makes me skip your story?

There are several reasons why I might look the other way. Maybe it’s because I don’t connect with the headline or the topic isn’t particularly relevant to me.

Below you’ll find the most common engagement-killing problems that will always make me swipe left.

1. You’re writing for yourself not the reader

It’s easy to fall into the trap of writing for yourself. You may be thinking, “I just want to make sure that everything makes sense and is as clear as possible.”

Or maybe you’re worried about what your readers will think or say about your work.

The truth is, writing for yourself can make your story feel more disjointed than it needs to be by placing too many restrictions on what happens in the story (which then makes it difficult for readers to relate).

By focusing on what the reader wants from their reading experience — and not what YOU want from YOUR writing experience — you can create better stories that are more engaging and satisfying for everyone.

Just think about it, if you’re not telling your story to me, then who are you telling it to?

If you want a good example of how to take a deeply personal story and make it reader-orientated, I recommend “My daughter became my son” by Leonard Tillerman. I couldn’t but put myself in his shoes while reading every word.

2. You are ignoring my expectations

The most important aspect of storytelling is meeting the expectations of your readers.

You have to give them what they want, need, and expect from you. This is why it’s so important that you understand what your readers want before they even know they want it.

If you’re not meeting your readers’ expectations, you’ll lose their interest.

Remember that people don’t just want to read what you have to say. They want to read something of value and something that meets their needs. A good story does both of these things.

If you are providing information for the sake of it — or worse, if your writing is packed with filler content — then it’s likely that you’re not creating a story worthy of being read by anyone other than yourself or perhaps a few close friends who are always your biggest fans.

3. You’re navel-gazing and self-promoting

This is a big one because it’s a lot of people’s favorite thing to do — and they often don’t realize that they’re doing it.

When you write about yourself, you are essentially writing about your experiences, opinions, and interests. These things are important! But they aren’t what makes your story interesting to other people (unless those others happen to be interested in your experiences).

What makes a story interesting isn’t what happens to the writer; it’s how the writer responds to those events.

Your readers want stories that show them how others react under pressure or when faced with loss or failure — not just how you responded when faced with these situations yourself!

The first thing you need to consider to succeed as a content creator and online author is how to isolate yourself from your ego and ground your writing.

It’s not like you should be simply humble enough to consider yourself a grain of dust on the shoulders of giants. You should consider that you are the measure of what you’re willing to give back to others. Henry India Holden made me think about that in this beautiful piece: “I Thought I Was Better Than You.”

4. You’re not adding value

I know you have a story to tell, but if you’re not adding value to the reader in some way, then I’m going to skip it.

I’m not trying to be harsh here. But nobody wants to read something that doesn’t help them out or teach them something new.

Writing online content has its nuances, you should take some time to consider if your story helps people in any way.

When I say “add value,” I mean: do not write for yourself; write for your readers. Give them something they can’t find elsewhere — something unique and interesting; make your writing accessible and helpful; be creative and informative.

We must remember our readers and what they want. If we don’t, then why would they bother reading in the first place?

• Your story is not about how great it was when you got married or what an OK job your roommate did cleaning the kitchen after dinner parties (even though she was really good at pretending like she wasn’t listening).
• Your story isn’t about how hard it was for you to get any work done because everyone kept asking questions about your watch collection (even though she was super jealous).
• Your story isn’t about how funny everyone thought it was when someone stole all the bananas from their school lockers back in middle school.

No! Your story is about things that matter: What does this mean for my audience? How can I help them understand my point of view better?

I know you have a story to tell, but if you’re not adding value to the reader in some way, then I’m going to skip it.

In other words, don’t just tell us about yourself — make sure there’s a reason we should care about what you have to say in the first place.

Lisa S. Gerard does this exact thing masterfully in her story: “It’s time to get rid of the monkey on your back that whispers in your ear.”

5. You’re not giving back to the community

There’s a saying that goes something like, “If you give, you shall receive.” I couldn’t agree more.

If you want to be seen as an authority in your field and be recognized for it, the best way to do this is by contributing back to the community.

Why should you share your knowledge if you want to become for instance a better writer?

Well, because it will make you a better writer, and it will help others. It’s not enough to just publish one thing and then disappear into obscurity.

You need to put in the work yourself: contribute to community-focused publications and write blog posts about what you’ve learned and share your knowledge with others who can benefit from it.

Rosa Diaz illustrates this point perfectly in her story: “Improve your Life by Focusing on the Essentials” as the author takes her own experience into perspective and builds on that with her knowledge to share actionable advice with her audience.

Sorry but I’ll skip it if your story isn’t engaging

Okay, so you’ve got a bit of writer’s block. You’ve been staring at the screen for hours, and nothing engaging is coming out.

Don’t force it!

It happens to the best of us. It’s better to step back and go watch a series on Netflix instead of just writing the first thing that comes into your mind and a couple of fillers.

This is a common problem, and it’s hard to fix. I’ve tried to write about this subject before, but every time I do, it sounds like some kind of “here’s what you should do” prescription that doesn’t help anyone.

So I’m sorry about the harsh tone, but I had to take a negative stance to get the message through.

The fact is that no one can tell you how to write engagingly; you have to figure out what works for your own style and voice.

Still, if any of the following statements are true about your writing, it’s time for a change.

• You’re writing only for yourself.
• You don’t care about your audience.
• You’re only self-promoting.
• Your words aren’t engaging or adding value in any way — or if they are, it’s not enough to keep me around long enough to see them come through in the story itself.
• You haven’t given back enough yet, whether that means offering useful content or contributing to an online community.

Don’t worry about writing perfect prose; just write what comes naturally and let others decide if it’s worth reading or not.

• If your writing is bland and not engaging, I’ll skip it. I don’t want to read something that’s not going to keep me interested.
• If your writing isn’t an attention-grabber that will keep me reading, then I’ll just move on and find something better.

Final thoughts

Whatever the reason, there are a few things you can do to try and hook me into your story. First, make sure your opening paragraph is compelling and draws me in. If I’m not interested from the very beginning, it’s unlikely that I’ll stick around for long.

I’d appreciate it if you could share any personal insight as to what makes you skip a story. It would be helpful to all of us on our writing journey. Thank you for reading!