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Abstract

e0">But at least, it gave me the space to notice how much people have to offer. Not everybody parades their wisdom around. But if you take the time to get to know them, you discover that everybody is beautiful in their own way and has something to teach you. It opened my eyes.</p><h2 id="d632">Undimming the light</h2><p id="97d6">Today, I don’t dim my light to counteract my sense of superiority. I believe Marianne Williamson when she says, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” Thank goodness, because reconnecting with my personal power gave me the confidence to be the lover I was meant to be.</p><h2 id="46c9">Thinking more about others</h2><figure id="dc58"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*tJ_bHQRoKc6EP4Mk"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@vinceveras?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Vince Veras</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><blockquote id="ba53"><p><b>“True humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” — C.S. Lewis</b></p></blockquote><p id="1c49">Today, when that old egoic superiority surfaces, I remember C.S. Lewis’ words and put my focus on being helpful. As a coach, as a partner, as a friend.</p><p id="8b39">As to being special? Mom was right, everybody is special. It might not be logical, but that’s how love sees it.</p><p id="7a84">Thank you, <a href="undefined">Rui Alves</a> and <a href="https://medium.com/the-engage">Engage</a>, for publishing my article 🙏🏼.</p><figure id="0580"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*U6RqiTIN4t

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zvyDY9.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="d2d0">If you like my article, please read all the way down for Medium to count it as having been read. And consider giving it up to 50 claps by holding down on the little hand icon below.</p><p id="4fc9">If you like Medium, why not become a member? You can throw me a little support by using my author referral :).</p><div id="3775" class="link-block"> <a href="https://henryindiaholden.medium.com/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link — Henry India Holden</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>henryindiaholden.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*pYB5GSWMEVfWPmIQ)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="1c1d"><i>Henry was born in West Germany. They are a nonbinary writer, certified life coach, ecotherapist, Tarotist, and metaphysical guide & healer. They teach tools, techniques, and action steps — and give you unconditional love & support — to help you crystallize & fulfill your soul’s purpose. Website: <a href="https://www.henryindiaholden.com/">henryindiaholden.com</a>.</i></p><p id="cbbc">©2022 Henry India Holden. All rights reserved.</p><figure id="4d8b"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*1GLv_xHjVW00Jn_Rq31T0g.jpeg"><figcaption></figcaption></figure></article></body>

I Thought I Was Better Than You

A sense of superiority is not personal power

Mutti, the cow whisperer. German Alps. Image by author.

My parents, survivors of WW II, raised me to believe that I’m more special than other people. Looking back, I think having kids must have seemed so miraculous after all that death. No wonder they were so biased. And maybe it gave them solace to think they had exceptional children.

9th Grade

In ninth grade, that belief was punctured. It’s a vivid memory. Mutti and I are sitting in our VW camper. It’s a hot day. The windows are down. Loud booms from trains being coupled together in the switching yard ring through the streets.

I press her on the subject. I yell, You always tell me that I’m special. How do you know that? What is it that makes me special? She finally yells back, You’re special and everybody else is, too! So, not special at all. I bawl. I feel so betrayed. If I’m not special, who am I?

Faking being down to earth

It was a long journey from there to here. For years, I faked being down to earth to hide my superiority complex. But people weren’t fooled, they let me know I was stuck up.

Dimming the Light

I wanted to improve myself but I took things a step too far when I decided to dim my light to prove I wasn’t better. It undermined me and disconnected me from my own power.

But at least, it gave me the space to notice how much people have to offer. Not everybody parades their wisdom around. But if you take the time to get to know them, you discover that everybody is beautiful in their own way and has something to teach you. It opened my eyes.

Undimming the light

Today, I don’t dim my light to counteract my sense of superiority. I believe Marianne Williamson when she says, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” Thank goodness, because reconnecting with my personal power gave me the confidence to be the lover I was meant to be.

Thinking more about others

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” — C.S. Lewis

Today, when that old egoic superiority surfaces, I remember C.S. Lewis’ words and put my focus on being helpful. As a coach, as a partner, as a friend.

As to being special? Mom was right, everybody is special. It might not be logical, but that’s how love sees it.

Thank you, Rui Alves and Engage, for publishing my article 🙏🏼.

If you like my article, please read all the way down for Medium to count it as having been read. And consider giving it up to 50 claps by holding down on the little hand icon below.

If you like Medium, why not become a member? You can throw me a little support by using my author referral :).

Join Medium with my referral link — Henry India Holden

As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…

henryindiaholden.medium.com

Henry was born in West Germany. They are a nonbinary writer, certified life coach, ecotherapist, Tarotist, and metaphysical guide & healer. They teach tools, techniques, and action steps — and give you unconditional love & support — to help you crystallize & fulfill your soul’s purpose. Website: henryindiaholden.com.